Mojo Nixon don’t work anywhere anymore, but Philly punk songwriter Joe Jack Talcum of Dead Milkmen fame, who helped bring Mr. Nixon to wider acclaim, still tours and will be sliding into Small’s on a smoked banana peel May 4. We asked Joe a few hard-hitting questions, and he was bitchin’ enough to answer.
1. If you could remove one thing from the world, tangible or intangible, wrap it up and permanently eject it from society, what would it be?
Toenail clippings. It if was up to me, toenail clippings would dissolve into the air the instant you clipped them. I have nothing against toenails. It’s just the clippings that bother me.
2. If you could add more of one existing thing to the world, what would it be? Here’s the catch: You can’t say “love,” you can’t say “tolerance.” Anything but those two things. And cicadas. You can’t say cicadas.
Silence. We need more of that in our noisy world. One thing I love about shopping at Aldi is that they don’t play any music over the loudspeakers. It’s a relatively quiet shopping experience. And it’s rather relaxing. We could use more of that.
3. You draw. Obviously you can draw whomever or whatever you damn well please. But who would you like to have sit in a room across from you while you drew them?
Just about anyone really. But, if I have to be specific, I’d choose Montana Jordan.
4. Say you’re on a 415-date global tour and your roommate has to be from the animal kingdom. They’re not selling merch or anything, just keeping you company. What creature do you choose?
Cat.
5. Someone sculpts you on the side of a mountain to start a four-person Rushmore-esque monument. You have no choice. You’re already up there. What other three people would you want carved in that mountain with you?
Rodney, Dan, and Dean.
