A public service announcement about snow

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Somebody's got to do it: So we'd like to take this opportunity to remind the residents of Michigan that, in the winter, it may snow. Earthshaking, right?

For those unfamiliar with the process, the air is full of water vapor, and when the weather turns chilly, there's a good chance that the water will freeze and be pulled by the planet's gravity back down to the ground. Many people find it pretty. It mutes the noises of the city. It covers up the trash. Sometimes it is fun to play in. Sometimes cars can't drive in it, and people bust out skis and snowshoes and snowmobiles and get around anyway. Everybody's fine.

But, watch the news, and you'd think that the little flakes of snow were made of radioactive poison or something. Get the bottled water! Fill up the tank, pronto! It's snowmageddon! It's the snowpocalypse! We're going to be buried alive!

Every winter, the mainstream media crank up their fear machine and warn us that we're facing a great trial every time more than a few inches of snow fall on us. We, of the Winter Wonderland state. Where many drive SUVs. Where we're all outfitted with the very warmest snow gear. Where every other house has a 208 cc dual-stage snowblower. We're all supposed to freak the fuck out because it's going to snow enough to cover that garden gnome in the flower bed. On a Sunday.

Isn't it just a little bit ... insulting? Didn't we just make it through a winter with a few days that had record low temperatures, and a record-breaking, nay, record-setting snowfall? Aren't the chances pretty darn good that we're ready for this coming snow?

Here's a crazy idea for our Detroit-area media: We, the people of Michigan, understand that it snows in the winter. That's why we tune in for weather reports. If it starts raining radioactive poison, then maybe it should be part of the main news. Heck, if we event get a greater snowfall than we did just last winter it could be news. But until then, maybe the front page or lead segment could be about something ... newsworthy? Just a thought ...

About The Author

Michael Jackman

Born in 1969 at Mount Carmel hospital in Detroit, Jackman grew up just 100 yards from the Detroit city line in east Dearborn. Jackman has attended New York University, the School of Visual Arts, Northwestern University and Wayne State University, though he never got a degree. He has worked as a bar back, busboy,...
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