I’m 53 years old and don’t have one family photo that includes my father.
I was 13 in 1983 when my family was separated due to escalations in the Civil War in Lebanon. My mother, two brothers, and I fled for America. My father, Hani Zebib, and one brother were left behind to tend to the family business.
When I was 29, I thought we would finally capture that family photo I had wanted for so long. Everyone, including my father, planned to unite in Detroit for my wedding. However, an unfathomable tragedy would occur before that could happen — only two years after my father moved to the U.S. from Lebanon.
During the time he was here, my father’s American dream was embodied in the Detroit store he tirelessly tended to and, on December 11, 2000, where my father was robbed and shot at gunpoint. The loss and injustice of that heinous crime left its mark on the lives of me and my family, including my future children. Now, I imagine that hearing about the pain I’ve endured the last 23 years would lead you to be very surprised that I have dedicated the past three years to advocating for the release of one of the individuals involved in my father’s death.
What I’ve always appreciated about humanity is the ability to live long enough to teach our offspring all we have learned — with the hope they use it to make the world a better place. Yet, we often don’t teach them that bad goes along with the good — that you can’t have one without the other.
I believe we must make mistakes to teach (and learn) this important life lesson.
Demel Dukes, who I have gotten to know over the years, and whose release from prison I advocate for, was at the scene of my father’s murder as a lookout. Although he did not pull the trigger, he received a life sentence without parole (LWOP).
And while Demel was guilty of facilitating the murder, he has served his time. During those 2.5 decades, he has become the man he was supposed to be. He is a leader with the National Lifers of America Chippewa Chapter, has educated himself, and is dedicated to his faith.
That’s why I believe in the justice system. Although it isn’t perfect, it’s a work in progress. And just as my father did during his life, he gave lessons to me and Demel in his death.
Humans are put on this Earth to accomplish a lot with limited time, and I think the future of humanity depends on us getting it somewhat right. I also think the world and especially Demel’s future grandchildren are ready for him.
My wedding was postponed due to my father’s passing, but I eventually married and had three children who never got to know their l resilient and light-spirited grandfather. One daughter now attends the University of Michigan, and the other was a two-time state gymnastics champion. My beautiful and wise 18-year-old son is a carbon copy of his grandfather.
We have a saying in Lebanon: “Whoever gives birth never dies.” Although he is no longer with us, my children are receiving their grandfather's baton with wide open arms.
Our prison systems too often prioritize profit over the growth and development of incarcerated individuals. Profit-driven prison models perpetuate a cycle of punishment that frequently leaves individuals more broken than when they entered.
We will only create a more compassionate and just society when we strive for a criminal justice system that fosters human rehabilitation and supports the reintegration of individuals who’ve shown a commitment to positive change during their time behind bars.
Transformed individuals can become valuable community contributors, and when that happens, we avert harm and promote healing.
For 23 years, Demel has been doing his best to transform and be a positive community force. There are many others like him among the 1,000 people serving LWOP under Michigan’s “felony murder” law, according to The Sentencing Project.
That’s why I want to do my best to give Demel back to his family and have him accomplish what my father couldn’t: be the patriarch his family needs and take his own family photo.
The Second Look Sentencing Act being considered now could make that hope a reality. That’s why I’m hoping Michigan legislators will pass the Act this year.
Together, we can build a society that values every life and believes in the power of human transformation.
