The ‘20 Commandments of Detroit,’ according to Reddit

By Metro Times editorial staff on Fri, Dec 9, 2022 at 9:24 am

It’s easy to fall down the wormhole that is a good Reddit thread, and we’ve found another good one.

Users on the discussion platform ran down things they think would be on Detroit’s Ten Commandments if it had one, and some of them are pretty good. Here’s a list of some of the best commandments from the thread.

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[Thou shalt] support the Lions, even though you know they're going to lose. — olobley

Shutterstock

[Thou shalt] support the Lions, even though you know they're going to lose.

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Thou shalt only call it “pop.” —arcsreddit

Faygo Beverages / Facebook

Thou shalt only call it “pop.”

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To whom the buffs are given, much is required. —venbalin

Screenshot via NBA / YouTube

To whom the buffs are given, much is required.

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Thou shalt always fist bump Joe Louis when the opportunity arises. —thenegativeone81

Google Maps

Thou shalt always fist bump Joe Louis when the opportunity arises.

—thenegativeone81

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There is only one commandment: Joumana Knows All. —digidave1
Thou shalt know thine rights. —technicalityNDBO

Lee DeVito

There is only one commandment: Joumana Knows All.

Thou shalt know thine rights.

—technicalityNDBO

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Thou shall Play “Good Ass Day” at least once per summer. —GreatLakerNori

Thou shall Play “Good Ass Day” at least once per summer.

—GreatLakerNori

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Thou shalt not put ketchup on a coney. —stos313

Hollywood Coney Island / Facebook

Thou shalt not put ketchup on a coney.

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Thou shall greet each other with “what up doe?” —DetroitLions88

Thou shall greet each other with “what up doe?”

—DetroitLions88

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Thou shalt throw thy lime scooter onto Woodward once done, and avoid following any traffic laws whilst riding. —PirateShrimpPossum

Lime

Thou shalt throw thy lime scooter onto Woodward once done, and avoid following any traffic laws whilst riding.

—PirateShrimpPossum

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Thou shalt not gentrify the hood. —YourBrianOnDrugs

Steve Neavling

Thou shalt not gentrify the hood.

—YourBrianOnDrugs

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Thou shall not do 55 on the freeway. —ClooneysBatNipples

Shutterstock

Thou shall not do 55 on the freeway.

—ClooneysBatNipples

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Thou shall Jit! Jit jit jit jit jit jit jit! —Boogieman48227

Derek Dandridge

Thou shall Jit! Jit jit jit jit jit jit jit!

—Boogieman48227

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No copeth, no stopeth.
Mind thy business. —cplus_lc

Sean Davis / Flickr Creative Commons

No copeth, no stopeth.
Mind thy business.

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Thou shall not pay $29 for one. Thou shall pay $50 for two.

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Thou shalt not say “I’m from Detroit” when you are from Novi. —Detroit425

Thou shalt not say “I’m from Detroit” when you are from Novi.

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Thou shall be down on the Lodge wit it. —1995droptopz

Google Maps

Thou shall be down on the Lodge wit it.

—1995droptopz

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Thou shalt know the correct pronunciation of Livernois and Gratiot. But, fuck it, Lahser can go either way. —YourBrianOnDrugs

Google Maps

Thou shalt know the correct pronunciation of Livernois and Gratiot. But, fuck it, Lahser can go either way.

—YourBrianOnDrugs

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Thou shalt put an "S" at the end of every store you shop at or any auto manufacturer you work for. Examples: MeijerS, TargetS, KrogerS, WalmartS. Or FordS, ChryslerS, ChevyS etc... —steedandpeelship

Google Maps

Thou shalt put an "S" at the end of every store you shop at or any auto manufacturer you work for. Examples: MeijerS, TargetS, KrogerS, WalmartS. Or FordS, ChryslerS, ChevyS etc...

—steedandpeelship

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Thou shall not use thy blinker while crossing three lanes on the freeway. —gregers007

Google Maps

Thou shall not use thy blinker while crossing three lanes on the freeway.

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Thou shalt celebrate when the Lions only lose by a little. —Barbalias

Detroit Lions / Facebook

Thou shalt celebrate when the Lions only lose by a little.

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