If Detroit suburbs were people at a party, here’s what they would be doing

By on Thu, Feb 17, 2022 at 4:53 pm

A Reddit thread asked users to pretend the metro area were people at a party, what would they be like?

If we had to guess, Detroit at a party would be the cool kid who drives a Hellcat and doesn’t say much, but somehow is the center of attention.

But what about the suburbs? What would Downriver, Westland, or Birmingham be like if they were people at a party?

Well, Reddit users gave us the answers and we’ve compiled a list of them here.

Scroll down to view images
Downriver: wondering why nobody wants to dance them.—Mindless_Egg5954 Photo via City of Allen Park / Facebook

Downriver: wondering why nobody wants to dance them.

—Mindless_Egg5954

Photo via City of Allen Park / Facebook
1 of 20
Roseville keeps trying to get everyone to go shopping with them but it’s not happening.—bachompchewychomp Photo via Roseville Police Department / Facebook

Roseville keeps trying to get everyone to go shopping with them but it’s not happening.

—bachompchewychomp

Photo via Roseville Police Department / Facebook
2 of 20
Garden City at some point during the night/level of intoxication, they WILL perform their PomPon routine that won States, and talk about Pizza Bread. —ZeldLurr Photo via City of Garden City / Facebook

Garden City at some point during the night/level of intoxication, they WILL perform their PomPon routine that won States, and talk about Pizza Bread.

—ZeldLurr

Photo via City of Garden City / Facebook
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Ypsilanti brought a weapon for some reason.—kimpossible69 Photo via Google Maps

Ypsilanti brought a weapon for some reason.

—kimpossible69

Photo via Google Maps
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Westland showed up, drank too much, and stumbled out, and nobody else ever knew they were there.—craneac7 Photo via PeRshGo/Wikimedia Creative Commons

Westland showed up, drank too much, and stumbled out, and nobody else ever knew they were there.

—craneac7

Photo via PeRshGo/Wikimedia Creative Commons
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Birmingham parked on the front lawn so everyone would have to walk by his car and see how nice it is, he's in the kitchen doing shots talking about stocks to people who don't own any stocks.—corsair130 Photo via City of Birmingham / Facebook

Birmingham parked on the front lawn so everyone would have to walk by his car and see how nice it is, he's in the kitchen doing shots talking about stocks to people who don't own any stocks.

—corsair130

Photo via City of Birmingham / Facebook
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Grosse Pointe brought a very expensive bottle of scotch that no one wants to drink.—bachompchewychomp Photo via Notorious4life/Wikimedia Creative Commons

Grosse Pointe brought a very expensive bottle of scotch that no one wants to drink.

—bachompchewychomp

Photo via Notorious4life/Wikimedia Creative Commons
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Warren needs to borrow a couple bucks for the bus, but will totally pay u next time they see you.—saradil25 Photo via City of Warren / Facebook

Warren needs to borrow a couple bucks for the bus, but will totally pay u next time they see you.

—saradil25

Photo via City of Warren / Facebook
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Livonia is clutching their purse when someone Black is around.—kimpossible69 Photo via Livonia Community / Facebook

Livonia is clutching their purse when someone Black is around.

—kimpossible69

Photo via Livonia Community / Facebook
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Huntington Woods wasn't invited to the party, but they walk their dog past the house just to see what's going on. They're ready to call the cops.—corsair130 Photo via City of Huntington Woods / Facebook

Huntington Woods wasn't invited to the party, but they walk their dog past the house just to see what's going on. They're ready to call the cops.

—corsair130

Photo via City of Huntington Woods / Facebook
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Pontiac is waiting for the music to stop playing on Spotify so they can leave with the host's Playstation 4.—kimpossible69 Photo via City of Pontiac / Facebook

Pontiac is waiting for the music to stop playing on Spotify so they can leave with the host's Playstation 4.

—kimpossible69

Photo via City of Pontiac / Facebook
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Harper Woods is hanging out with Grosse Pointe whispering in their ear to ignore Eastpointe.—bachompchewychomp Photo via Google Maps

Harper Woods is hanging out with Grosse Pointe whispering in their ear to ignore Eastpointe.

—bachompchewychomp

Photo via Google Maps
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Shelby Township just showed up insinuating that an election audit must be made.—AmberVials Photo via Charter Township of Shelby/ Facebook

Shelby Township just showed up insinuating that an election audit must be made.

—AmberVials

Photo via Charter Township of Shelby/ Facebook
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St. Clair Shores is there with a Hawaiian shirt and gray goatee showing pictures of his 28 foot Four Winns from 1976. He’s bald and his head is sunburned and he’s drunk but you can’t tell since he’s always drunk.—LetHerRipHang10 Photo via City of St. Clair Shores / Facebook

St. Clair Shores is there with a Hawaiian shirt and gray goatee showing pictures of his 28 foot Four Winns from 1976. He’s bald and his head is sunburned and he’s drunk but you can’t tell since he’s always drunk.

—LetHerRipHang10

Photo via City of St. Clair Shores / Facebook
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Livonia called the cops to narc.—bagleyboi Photo via Livonia Police Department/ Facebook

Livonia called the cops to narc.

—bagleyboi

Photo via Livonia Police Department/ Facebook
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Sterling Heights wonders when they should leave for their shift at Fords (notice the S?).—unclefire Photo via Sterling Heights City Hall / Facebook

Sterling Heights wonders when they should leave for their shift at Fords (notice the S?).

—unclefire

Photo via Sterling Heights City Hall / Facebook
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Garden City showed up in Cookie Monster pants and has a Nightmare before Christmas tattoo.—kimpossible69 Photo via City of Garden City / Facebook

Garden City showed up in Cookie Monster pants and has a Nightmare before Christmas tattoo.

—kimpossible69

Photo via City of Garden City / Facebook
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Birmingham had another party that was cooler than this one.—Skillsjr Photo via City of Birmingham / Facebook

Birmingham had another party that was cooler than this one.

—Skillsjr

Photo via City of Birmingham / Facebook
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Downriver is taking a header out the back steps after trying to sneak out with the beer.—8midgets Photo via City of Flat Rock / Facebook

Downriver is taking a header out the back steps after trying to sneak out with the beer.

—8midgets

Photo via City of Flat Rock / Facebook
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Troy came to the party late, empty-handed, still in his corporate 9-5 clothes. He mixes himself a Long Island Iced Tea, does a line of your blow, then bails early to relieve his dutiful wife by putting the kids to bed. Thirty min later, Troy's wife shows up solo, drinks all the wine, and gets caught giving the host a handie out back. —AlphaSchnitz Photo via Ken Lund/ Wikimedia Creative Commons

Troy came to the party late, empty-handed, still in his corporate 9-5 clothes. He mixes himself a Long Island Iced Tea, does a line of your blow, then bails early to relieve his dutiful wife by putting the kids to bed.

Thirty min later, Troy's wife shows up solo, drinks all the wine, and gets caught giving the host a handie out back.

—AlphaSchnitz

Photo via Ken Lund/ Wikimedia Creative Commons
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