Apr 6, 2005 at 12:00 am

One man’s trash… Perhaps it all started when a nerdy teen decided to sell his virginity on eBay, back in, oh, 2000 or so. Then it wasn’t long before every yahoo with an AOL account figured out how to amuse themselves with hoax auctions on eBay. Suddenly, that half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich, your stinky pair of socks, a broken Power Ranger, that slightly used diaphragm — any ol’ piece of crap could become a potential cash cow if marketed properly. Case in point: the tubby tattooed guy who decided to take a photo of himself in his wife’s wedding dress; the auction was so widely circulated that the guy ended up on talk shows. Crazy.

At, you can find all manner of wacky, and occasionally disgusting, auctions. Some are hoaxes — such as the guys offering themselves as prom dates — and some are real but just plain bizarre wares, like the Aerosmith cookie cutter, and the surgical staples and screws one man had placed in his leg after a serious auto wreck.

Or there’s the guy who’s selling his plush Stitch doll — from the film Lilo & Stitch — which he believes is haunted. He even supplies detailed updates of the havoc and evil Stitch has wreaked upon his home, and a photograph of the alleged blisters that appeared on a priest’s hand after he tried to pick up the toy. You can’t buy better entertainment.

Alas, as the party poopers at eBay continue to crack down on these hilarious faux auctions, their shelf life becomes shorter by the minute. Many of the auctions featured on the site only link to “Invalid item” pages.


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