Eminem’s home movie

News Hits is not a big fan of Eminem’s violent, homophobic and generally offensive music. But when we heard that the rapper was in Detroit to film his life’s story, we decided to watch the camera crew in action.

Much to our surprise, we were greeted with less than welcome arms.

“You need to move your car. It’s in the middle of a movie set,” shouted Michael Connell, who lives downtown and helped the moviemakers clear a brick alley east of Gratiot last week.

“Tell them for a hundred bucks you’ll move, it,” joked Brett Lee Dickens. Dickens, who lives in a building adjacent the alley was miffed that the film crew reneged on an offer to pay him $100 to put his BMW motorcycle in the movie. They went with a Honda instead.

Lois Teicher collected $200 to have her apartment door in the scene.

“Someone said I should have asked for $1,000,” said Teicher after hearing that the movie, which is not yet titled and is loosely based on Eminem’s life, may cost $50 million.

“Why are they filming here?” asked Celeste Belanger, who stood with a small crowd watching the crew film a beat-up 1988 Oldsmobile rolling down the alley. As she did, the Real Slim Shady appeared on the set.

“He looks so innocent,” said Belanger, who held her dog Seth by a leash. “He looks like a little kid — and those words that come out of his mouth.”

Eminem stood next to the rusted Olds, donning gray sweat pants and a hooded jacket.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the perplexed rapper of the film crew. As Eminem slid inside the car, a massive bodyguard headed for News Hits.

“You can’t be here,” he said. “You have to leave.”

“This is public property,” News Hits asserted. After chasing News Hits from the street to the sidewalk and back, Eminem’s bodyguard finally gave up and walked away.

A film crew member kindly told News Hits that they didn’t want any reporters on the set because they were trying to keep things “low key.”

We’ll remember that when publicists start pimping the flick come release time.

Ann Mullen contributed to News Hits, which is edited by Curt Guyette. He can be reached at 313-202-8004 or [email protected]