Mar 28 – Apr 3, 2018

Mar 28 - Apr 3, 2018 / Vol. 38 / No. 25

Cover Stories

Talking a lifetime of Tigers fandom with Jimmy Doom

There are approximately 95 billion rocky worlds in the Milky Way galaxy — and by all appearances Jimmy Doom was lucky enough to be born on the one with his favorite baseball team: the Detroit Tigers. “I was fucking born in New York,” he says, wiping up the bar at Kelly’s in Hamtramck at the…

As the Tigers rebuild, who will sign the paychecks?

Even though they are not expected to contend for the AL Central crown, the upcoming 2018 campaign will be critical for the Detroit Tigers. Following the death of Mike Ilitch in early 2017, the Tigers listed, sagged, and collapsed into last place in the AL Central. This is, for now, Christopher Ilitch’s team, and with…

Why the DIA’s new baseball exhibition isn’t quite out of left field

The Detroit Institute of Arts will pay homage to the Tigers with Play Ball: Baseball at the DIA , a rare-for-the-museum exhibition featuring baseball cards, folk art, and other works of art inspired by America’s national pastime. But as DIA curator Nancy Barr points out, while a sports-themed exhibition might be somewhat anomalous for the…

A selection of Detroit Tigers Opening Day parties

Due to rain, Opening Day has been rescheduled for Friday, March 30. 97.1 The Ticket Opening Day Block Party Starts at 10 a.m.; Grand Circus Park; 248-327-2900; 971Theticket.com; no cover. Beacon Park Opening Day tailgate. Starts at 9 a.m.; 1903 Grand River Ave., Detroit; 313-962-0101; facebook.com/beaconparkdetroit; no cover. Bookies Bar & Grille Starts at 7…

Five essential QLine restaurants

Ballpark fare is what it is: stadium food, mostly made by the not-so-exciting chefs at institutional food giants like Aramark. That means on opening day at Comerica Park, you’ll want to fill up for the long, debaucherous haul outside of the stadium. Of course, standing in long lines for a sad sausage in the opening day…

Metro Times is seeking a digital editor

Metro Times has an immediate opening for a new digital editor. Duties include running our social media accounts, contributing to our blogs, and creating those fun slideshows that our readers just love to click through. The ideal candidate is someone who lives and breathes online news and relishes the idea of connecting readers with MT…

Let Ann Arbor’s Hash Bash and Monroe Street Fair take you higher

Pass the dutchie to the left and brace yourselves — you’re about to get really frickin’ stoned. For 47 years, Ann Arbor has been high heaven for the Hash Bash —  the only time and place you can really blaze, toke, and vape in public around here without fearing persecution. Thousands will gather, sending a…

Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy goes it alone at the Royal Oak Music Theatre

Much can be said about Wilco founder and frontman Jeff Tweedy, one of the most accomplished American songwriters in recent decades. No matter what genre he takes on, Tweedy always demonstrates an emotional warmth, and with 17 albums under his belt, he has touched nearly every sound under the sun, from alt-country, rock, folk, experimental,…

Chicago cabaret rockers the Claudettes head to Otus Supply

Psychobilly might be an unfamiliar term to some, but when describing Chicago cabaret rockers the Claudettes, it’s pretty damn accurate. (In trying to describe the band, WBEZ radio’s Tony Sarabia said, “Brother Ray meets the Ramones… Chopin meets Minutemen.”) The sultry, retro moodiness captured on the band’s latest record, Dance Scandal At The Gymnasium, sums…

The Detroit Zoo is giving away its animal poop

The Detroit Zoo’s latest promo has us whiffin’. In honor of earth day, the zoo says it will give out hundreds of buckets of its “zoo poo,” free of charge. Why would you want it? Not for the smells, of course. Planting season is upon us, and animal manure makes a great fertilizer. How do…

Nestlé wins MDEQ approval to suck 400 gallons per minute from Osceola well

The Michigan Department of Environmental Quality has conditionally approved bottled water giant Nestlé’s permit to pump 400 gallons per minute from its well in Osceola Township. Meanwhile, township officials continue their fight against a pumping station Nestlé needs in order to boost pumping rates. It’s a tale with more twists and turns than an Osceola…

Sheefy McFly made a track that samples Bop It, and it is a banger

In what could quite possibly be a manifestation of peak ’90s nostalgia, Detroit artist Sheefy McFly has made a jit track that samples the beloved Hasbro toy, Bop It. And you know what? It is a banger. McFly posted the track — which features the electronic voice and sound effects from Bop It Extreme saying, “Bop…

Detroit expands surveillance monitoring program to include schools

Detroit’s real-time surveillance monitoring program has made its way into the education space, even as civil liberties advocates question its purported impact on crime reduction. Nearly two dozen cameras now surround the Randolph Career Technical Education School on the city’s west side, a press release from the mayor’s office says, marking the first time an educational facility has…

Video captures rare all-white deer spotted in Milford

At first glance, you might think the above image is that of a large sheep or a tiny horse. In fact, what was spotted in a Michigan Metro Park last week is far more rare. Brighton residents Mick McDonald and fiance Karen Illinik captured a drive-by video of an albino white-tailed deer grazing at Kensington…

Garden Fresh Gourmet founders are launching a new company

In 2015, Ferndale’s Garden Fresh Gourmet co-owners Jack and Annette Aronson sold the company to Campbell’s for $231 million. What’d they do with that sizable haul for the salsa, hummus, and chip company that they started in 2005? Hopefully they took a trip or three around the world in recent years, but now they are…

The Fillmore is closing for renovations this summer

As we were filling out concert listings, we thought it was curious that the Fillmore’s online calendar had not been updated beyond rapper Tech N9ne’s concert scheduled for June 3. Now we know why. The Fillmore is due to close temporarily this summer to undergo restoration. According to a press release, the main auditorium ceiling will…

Buddy’s Pizza is considering a downtown Detroit location

Detroit-style pizza inventor Buddy’s Pizza is looking into Dan Gilbert’s Madison Building in downtown Detroit. The Free Press reports that the parties are in talks for Buddy’s to take over the space formerly occupied by Angelina Italian Bistro at 1565 Broadway St. by Grand Circus Park. That restaurant closed in late 2017 following a dispute…

MSU: Racism and hate speech permissible if directed at groups

Over the weekend, Michigan State University’s response to racist comments posted on social media by one of its students consisted of a rather lame statement about how it doesn’t approve of what happened. The comments made on Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat by MSU sophomore Jillian Kirk included one that read “GOD BLESS AMERICA, FUCK THE…

Laundromat-coffee shop The Commons opens in Islandview

A new laundromat, cafe, and community space called The Commons is sudsing up Islandview. The Common’s coffee menu includes all the standard cafe options like espresso, latte, mocha, chai, tea, cold brew, and iced tea, and offers it all for $4 and under. Food options include soups, chilis, pastries, and baked goods, and The Commons…

How a flawed criminal justice system put a pregnant Detroit activist behind bars

Siwatu-Salama Ra is the kind of young Detroiter who inspires hope. Raised between Northwest Detroit and California, the black mom began fighting for environmental justice in the city at just 19 years old, taking on polluters like Southwest Detroit’s Marathon Oil Refinery and the Detroit Renewable Power trash incinerator. Now, seven years later, the 26-year-old…

Here’s how you can watch a new doc on the Line 5 pipeline

Part one of a new feature-length documentary on the Great Lakes’ controversial Line 5 oil and gas pipeline now has a release date. Line 5: Part One: The Threat will be available to watch at 6 p.m. on Tuesday, April 10 on YouTube and Vimeo. According to filmmaker Barton Bund, Part One will be followed…

Detroit ‘Mappy Hour’ launch set for April 25

An event geared toward outdoorsy Detroiters will make its launch later this month. “Mappy Hour,” originally founded in 2014 in New York City, is set to make its Detroit debut on Wednesday, April 25. Organizers describe the event as “a gathering of outdoor enthusiasts around maps, guidebooks, beer, and adventure stories.” The event is set…

MSU’s other scandal: Helping to start the Vietnam War

Spartans fans disappointed by a string of recent missteps might find solace in knowing that scandal is nothing new for Michigan State University. Indeed, long before MSU’s myriad recent headlines — the still-unfolding Larry Nassar sex abuse case, the campus’ hosting of a neo-Nazi (and the subsequent clash between neo-Nazis and protesters), and failing to…

The music nobody wants to hear during sex

It started out innocently enough, with just a Facebook status update from one of our staffers asking, “What songs do you never want to hear during sex?” Within hours, it was one of those posts with dozens of replies, charting all sorts of music that you’d want out of earshot while doing the deed. Sometimes,…

Nolan Finley really, really, really hates Michigan Central Station

If words were wrecking balls, Michigan Central Station would be a smoking pile of rubble this morning. That’s because Nolan Finley wrote a blistering editorial last night demanding the station be sold and fixed up or razed to the ground. Given his tone, you definitely think he would prefer the latter. (Preferably, with the earth…

Ted Nugent has no soul

The “Motor City Madman” schtick is getting old, Ted. On Friday — Good Friday for all the Christians in the house — the old-enough-to-retire rocker and so-called “conservative” said the teenaged gun control activists who survived the Parkland, Fla., Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School massacre are “mushy brained children” who have “no soul.” “The Nuge” made the…

Saturday’s Tigers game is postponed

Once again, the Tigers have been rained out. The team has rescheduled today’s game against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Comerica Park. Now, the game has been moved to a split doubleheader on Sunday, April 1, with the first game beginning at 1:10 p.m. and the second game starting at 6:10 p.m. Tickets from today’s game…

MSU refuses to discipline student over racist messages

Michigan State University sophomore Jillian Kirk appears to be your garden variety outspoken Trump-era racist. On social media, she has posted messages like “GOD BLESS AMERICA, FUCK THE BLACKS!” The New York Post reports that in other social media posts, Kirk allegedly regularly uses the N-word and once wrote, “Fuck niggers I’m so over it.” Beyond the racism,…

Video shows man attack Muslim woman in Dearborn

Video footage has surfaced showing a 19-year-old woman wearing a traditional Muslim head covering getting attacked by a man in a Dearborn emergency room. The video obtained by WDIV shows the woman checking into Beaumont Hospital on Feb. 10 as a disheveled man waiting in the lobby walks up from behind and begins pummeling her. Beaumont staffers…

Go hard with your woes at Drake Night at The Blind Pig

Starting from the bottom only means something when you’re looking down from the tip-top. When Aubrey “Drake” Graham first rolled into our hearts as the wheelchair-bound basketball star on Degrassi: The Next Generation who would have thought he would become the chart-dominating rapper and 6 God/Champagne Papi we’ve come to worship. Welcome to the house…

Dan Gilbert, private interests steered QLine plans, study finds

From the vantage point of Metro Times’ new Midtown office, we’ve gotten used to the sound of the regular clanging of the QLine’s electronic streetcar bell. We’ve also gotten used to a less frequent, yet not uncommon sight — that of a stalled QLine, delayed because a car has illegally parked on the streetcar’s curbside…

State orders more than 150 Detroit pot shops closed

More than 200 Michigan marijuana businesses, the majority of them in Detroit, have been ordered to close a week after a deadline by which they were to have applied for licenses to operate under the state’s new regulatory framework. Staff with the state’s Department of Licensing and Regulatory Affairs have since last Thursday been hand-delivering cease-and-desist letters…

Michigan could get hit with Chinese space junk the size of a school bus

It’s been real, fam. Mercury is in Gatorade or whatever, and Michigan is clearly becoming a magnet for cosmic activity as of late. Shit is getting serious. Related Gov. Rick Snyder “activated the state’s Emergency Operations Center” to monitor the free fall of China’s doomed space station Tiangong-1, which could very well land in Michigan. The…

You can now read Metro Times on Apple’s News app

Given the particularly tumultuous nature of social media — we’re looking at you Facebook — and the fact that many Metro Times readers access our content through these platforms, we’ve been looking for ways to expand our digital horizons as of late. Related So, while we haven’t (and probably won’t) join the list of companies…

Shri Thanedar leads Gretchen Whitmer in latest Dem primary poll for Michigan gov

A new Marketing Resource Group poll finds progressive candidate Shri Thanedar holding a 3-percentage point lead over Gretchen Whitmer in the Democratic primary for governor, with Thanedar polling at 21 percent and Whitmer at 18 percent. That’s a dramatic change from MRG’s last poll in September, which put Whitmer ahead of Thanedar by 24 points. A February…

Ben Carson compared Trump’s campaign to wrestling

Former neurosurgeon and current U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson made a diagnosis of our nation’s collective psyche that feels painfully true in the cold, harsh light of 2018. Basically, the doctor believes we are a nation of wrestling fans. In 2016, after he dropped out of the race to be the Republican…

MSU paid PR firm $500k to monitor victims, journalists on social media

Michigan State University was billed more than $500,000 in January by a top-tier public relations firm hired to monitor social media activity surrounding the Larry Nassar sex abuse case, documents obtained by The Lansing State Journal through the Freedom of Information Act reveal. According to the documents, New York-based Weber Shandwick billed the university $517,343 for more…

Detroit Tigers postpone Opening Day game

Put away your foam fingers, friends, for Tigers Opening Day has been postponed due to inclement weather. The dreary drizzle and chilly temperatures were enough to get the organization to reschedule the game for tomorrow, Friday, March 30. The first pitch will be thrown out at 1:10 p.m. According to WDIV, this is the first…

Whitmer donates MSU dean contributions following Nassar scandal

As more criminal charges come out of Michigan State University’s Larry Nassar sexual assault scandal, Gretchen Whitmer’s campaign announced the Democratic gubernatorial candidate has donated political contributions from former MSU dean William Strampel to charity. The announcement came Tuesday, following Strampel’s arrest on Monday. Strampel, Nassar’s former boss, was arraigned on Tuesday on four criminal charges stemming from the Nassar scandal, including misconduct…

Mr. B’s launches a new arcade bar in downtown Royal Oak

Metro Detroit’s newest arcade bar is up and running in Mr. B’s Gastropub in downtown Royal Oak. The move is part of a change of direction for Mr. B’s, which appears to have shed its neighborhood bar vibe for one of a gastropub. According to a release from the restaurant, it revamped its menu and offers…

Americana group Holly Bernt Band bring the Badlands to Detroit

Holly Bernt didn’t hear her first “secular” song until she was 13 years old. Raised in a strict Seventh-day Adventist household, Bernt says hymns and worship songs were all she knew until her big brother smuggled a Goo Goo Dolls record into the house and played her “Black Balloon.” “That was the first time I…

Savage Love: Cock locked

I’m in a D/s relationship. I’m not submissive around the clock, but my partner owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get my cock out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing — a ring…

SubRosa’s sludge doom is desolation tinged with delicacy

In darkness there is light. In expression there is power. In agony there is deafening release. The experimental sludge doom of Salt Lake City’s SubRosa combines all of these things in its haunting, harrowing music, which is decidedly metal, but the kind that leaves room for supple sounds to augment the heaviness. This is due…

Fighting for our right to FOIA

Here’s one of those truths that ought to be self-evident: In this democracy, governments — federal, state, and local — are our governments. They belong to “We the people,” after all. We elect those who run them, and fund their salaries and everything they do. That means, or should mean, that we have a right…

Horoscopes (March 28-April 3)

ARIES: March 21 – April 20 You have had it up to here with more than one thing. If it’s time to move on, don’t hesitate. In some cases systematic issues are tying you up to the point where, for the time being, you have to stay right where you are. An upcoming trip is…

The truth about Martin Luther King Jr.

“We’ve basically solved the case, telling people how it happened and why it happened,” says Dr. William Pepper. The case is the murder of progressive activist Martin Luther King Jr., and Pepper is talking about the contents of his 2016 book, The Plot to Kill King (Skyhorse Publishing). He’ll be discussing the subject Wednesday, April…

Unsane is a smack in the face to what Hollywood has become in recent years

Director Steven Soderbergh announced his retirement in 2013, stating that he was frustrated with Hollywood, its focus on huge, (supposedly) safe blockbusters, and the subsequent squeezing out of smaller, more challenging films. He also said at the time that he felt that “movies don’t matter anymore” as cultural touchstones. He unretired last year to give…


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