Distaff distortions
Dear Readers: Last week we were treated to the childhood sexual misconceptions of my male readers—a shocking number of which involved piss. This week it’s the girls’ turn. … My grandma on my dad’s side liked to come in while I was sitting on the toilet, doing number two, and tell me, “That’s how…
Innocence abroad
You don’t hear much about Prague these days. The former home to Franz Kafka and Communist bloc country has returned to relative obscurity on this side of the Atlantic. That was not the case in the early ’90s, when all you heard about was the mass expatriation of young Americans to the Eastern European capital…
More sexual misconceptions
When I was 8 or 9, I awoke from sleeping to use the bathroom. My father happened to be standing there using the toilet at the time, and in my half sleep I swore that he had three penises (which of course was just the one and his two low hanging balls). For years I…
Five guys walk into a bar…
As influential on both musical and subliminal levels as the Faces were — imagine a rock world without the rooster-haired, testosterone swagger of “Stay With Me,” or an alt-country world minus the self-reflective, wry luminosity of the late Ronnie Lane’s “Ooh La La” — it’s hard to fathom why it took so long to assemble…
Will exhibit for food
Jeremy Harvey is the reigning court jester of Detroit Rock City — anyone who disagrees would be hard-pressed to offer up a more impressive résumé. He’s hard to miss: Measuring 6 feet 6 inches, this spindly, quirky prankster is beloved by scenesters near and far for his pursuits as writer, artist, entrepreneur and just plain…
Aquatic food chain
Mitchell’s Fish Market is a member of that new breed of restaurants: the upscale chain. Featuring an ice-filled display case with luscious steaks and bright fillets, the selection of fish varies from day to day. You choose the fish and its style of preparation. The experience is up and down.
Best of the fests
If there’s one thing that there is no dearth of in this town, it’s outdoor music festivals. Hell, there are several going on this weekend (look here for information on the Ford Jazz Festival and the Night & Day calendar for information on Pontiac’s Arts, Beats & Eats); but if we here at Night &…
Drop Dead by the Microphone
I used to hate bands for sustaining one mood for an entire record. I always had this desire to sneak up behind Mazzy Star or that Cowboy Junkies chick, clunk her with a two-by-four and say, “Let’s see you whisper now, sullen chanteuses d’amour!” But I realized that since nobody ever criticizes a Stephen King…
Animal harm
A guard sits in an elevated shack near the entrance of the Michigan Humane Society’s Detroit shelter and clinic, keeping watch. Inside, 44 staffers toil, veritable soldiers in a war against animal overpopulation and cruelty, illness and neglect. Like real soldiers, their accommodations are sparse. The former Detroit Piston Ring Building, which has housed the…
Scissor Sisters
When the Scissor Sisters hit No. 1 in the U.K. earlier this year, it prompted a lot of claims that, despite the Lower East Side Liberace élan, the group was not simply the latest here-today-gone-by-cocktail-hour novelty act to prick the ears of the Brits. And yet their self-titled debut includes a cover of Pink Floyd’s…
Jazz jubilee
Twenty-five years ago, Detroit Renaissance, a movers-and-shakers civic group better known for pouring concrete than promoting culture, set tongues wagging with the idea of a downtown jazz festival. And it did so with a savvy sleight of hand. Thanks to Detroit Renaissance, this city that had long been a leading exporter of jazz talent imported…
ALiVE
Far more than just another club compilation, this two-disc set is a veritable turntable tutorial on how to professionally mix wax trax — minus the turntables and the wax. That’s because 23-year-old phenom James Zabiela totally eschews the trad attitude and spins CDs and DVDs instead of vinyl. And unlike other DJs who are content…
N&D Center
Thursday • 2 Fast Track MUSIC Trying to break into the music biz? Everyone knows that if you want to make it big, you’d best move along to Los Angeles, New York or London, right? Maybe not: If you are willing to wade through the sycophants and brownnosers, Time Machine Audio Recording Studios has put…
Blues to the Bone
What makes a woman sexy? Is it prancing around half-naked on a stage, lip-synching her hits in front of screaming fans who’ll buy anything with her name on it? Is it flashing her tits on some late-night television show? No, what makes a woman sexy is knowing. Etta James knows. And after 50 years in…
Citizens band
Sitting behind the wheel of his Dodge Shadow, Roland Crosby points out a young man with sagging shorts leaning into the window of a black SUV that has rolled to a stop in the Barton-McFarlane neighborhood on Detroit’s West Side. Money is exchanged. Crosby, a 67-year-old retiree who speaks in a slow, measured voice, suspects…
The big pill
When you peel away all the autumnal moodiness, lip-quivering, eye-darting close-ups, boozy confessions and emotional warfare of this film, you are left with four of the most grating, infantile, pseudo-intellectual characters since The Big Chill. A soap opera all gussied up as a “thoughtful” exploration of two couples whose infidelities and casual mendacity leads them…
Still wondering
News Hits is perplexed, to say the least, by a recent letter it received from Detroit Police Chief Ella Bully-Cummings. Last spring, we wrote the Police Department and other city officials regarding questions we had about Detective Derryck Thomas. The detective apparently provided false information about a homicide investigation in an affidavit filed in U.S.…
Hero
The epic tale of a nameless warrior in ancient China, featuring a spectacle of movement, color and sound that will leave you awe-struck. The expertly choreographed fight scenes defy the imagination, without becoming a gruesome bloodbath. Jet Li and a strong supporting cast shine in this martial arts masterpiece.
Media stew
Metro area residents concerned about the effects of media conglomeration and consolidation can do more than mumble in disgust. A town hall meeting featuring two members of the Federal Communications Commission is coming to town. The event will be held in Dearborn on Tuesday, Sept. 14. The national nonprofit group Free Press (not to be…
Danny Deckchair
Despite an unabashedly silly concept — a guy ties balloons to a lawn-chair and floats away — this uncomplicated Aussie farce is a simple and sweet charmer. Danny is discontent with his life, so he ties a bunch of balloons to his deckchair and drifts off, landing in a quaint little town, and finding a…
In a fix
Located at 8075 W. Warren Ave., the edifice that formerly housed Pete’s Fix-It Shop is the last building standing on its block. Located on a major east-west artery, it is tucked into an embankment covered with weeds and debris. Area residents say that within the past month the boxy two-story building adorned with much Turtle…
Time of the Wolf
After her husband is murdered in the family cabin, a woman and her two children flee, only to discover some kind of ecological upheaval has occurred. The survivors soon face the question of how far one will go in order to survive, and how brutal, protective or resigned one will become.
Back from hell
A sweat-drenched fireplug of a frontman with a close-cropped rockabilly coif and wide, wild eyes has just informed the packed crowd at Chicago’s Metro that, indeed, “GREEN ACRES WE ARE THERE!” over a tune that is Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze.” The gathered faithful — a mixed bag of shameless alt-rockers, tatted rockabilly slicks with chicks,…
Vanity Fair
A lavish adaptation of William Makepeace Thackeray’s 1847 novel, this classic satire of Victorian culture is overflowing with gorgeous young actors dressed to the hilt in impeccably designed costumes. Reese Witherspoon sparkles as an orphaned governess determined to fight her way to the upper echelons of aristocracy.
High Strung take Cleveland; Dilla gets blown
Cleveland rocks It could’ve been a bomb. We mean, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland is, after all, an $84 million pyramid dedicated to the care, study and display of rock ’n’ roll memory and memorabilia, of cultural hinges and reference points, right? Could be prime target for, uh, gosh,…
Imelda
This documentary of Imelda Marcos, forever remembered for the 3,000 pairs of shoes found in her closet after she and her husband dictator were booted out of the Philippines in 1986, reveals her protective bubble of self-regard and obliviousness. She’s diva material; don’t be surprised if a musical version of her life comes along sometime…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): With gleeful regularity, the tabloids have been publishing photographic proof that numerous female celebrities have cellulite. Recent additions to the list include 23-year-old Christina Aguilera and 22-year-old Britney Spears. I predict that this trend will lead to a revolutionary shift in perception: Cellulite will be regarded as a mark of beauty…
Letters to the Editor
Stop funding flight Re: “A case against sprawl,” (Metro Times, Aug. 18), when I think of sprawl, a spoiled child comes to mind. You know: “Daddy, I don’t like this Barbie — it’s old. Give me some money to buy a new one”. Only now it’s more like the collective voice of yuppie white America…
LDV, take me away!
A couple of weeks ago jazz guitarist Gino Fanelli called to tell me that his band, the Gypsy Strings, had added a new violin player that I had to hear. The group’s next performance was the upcoming Sunday brunch at La Dolce Vita, an Italian restaurant in Detroit. Now, first of all, I don’t like…
Morality and the Freep
Two weeks ago, the Detroit Free Press published two long, front-page stories that graphically destroyed the career of — and probably immensely damaged the life of — Melvin Butch Hollowell, a man who is not an elected official or on the public payroll, and who has been convicted of nothing. He has, in fact, been…
New Detroit industry
Behind the peeling facade of the gargantuan Russell Industrial Center in Detroit, just south of Hamtramck, something different and entirely non-industrial is happening. Unlike acres of Detroit’s former manufacturing plants, this one isn’t abandoned. Instead, the Russell Industrial is one of a growing handful of city structures now housing small businesses and art studios. On…
