Poseidon
A pointless remake of a disaster flick that was a joke to begin with, this new Poseidon gets rid of everything that was awesomely cheesy about the 1972 originalThe Poseidon Adventure — priests, ex-hookers, ridiculous costumes, Shelley Winters — in favor of would-be survivalist thrills and overblown CGI. Hell, there isn’t even a decently hammy…
Head Cheese
To celebrate Magic Bag’s 10th Anniversary, owner Jeremy Haberman offered us a few of his most “cherished” moments: 5. Nov. 27, 2000: A fan snapped a shot of Warren Zevon, which sent him into a set-ending tirade. Another reached onto the stage to grab a set list and Warren kindly stepped on his hand. He…
Queerly experimental
Matmos’ sample-heavy aesthetic allows for instruments made from surgical tools, whoopee cushions and a rodent trapped in the duo’s San Francisco apartment. They definitely love a concept. Here, they’ve constructed 10 “sound portraits” of gay cultural figures like philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, would-be Warhol assassin Valerie Solanas and beat writer William Burroughs. Each track uses elements…
Backslash
Potty talk — Harry Potter madness. It’s madness, we tell you! With nothing to do with their spare time while waiting for the next book and movie, rabid fans turn to the Web to entertain themselves. Speculating on possible plot turns and bitching about character developments abound at mugglenet.com. There’s also the-leaky-cauldron.org, which bills itself…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The general consensus is that Americans are getting dumber. Yet an article by Malcolm Gladwell in *The New Yorker* notes that Americans’ I.Q. scores have been steadily rising for a long time — so much so that a person whose I.Q. was in the top 10 percent of the population in…
Kwame’s dirty laundry?
Questions over ’05 campaign linger.
Dork like me
To many, the words “comic book convention” conjure images of a frightening pageant of the disenfranchised, an unholy gathering of obsessed geeks who lurk in parental basement dungeons. This harsh exaggeration demands a rebuttal. Yes, mockery is the standard operating procedure in sci-fi fandom, and it’s a tactic I’ve used in these pages before, but…
Burning questions
Detroit Council calls contract with bridge baron a raw deal.
Art Bar
Contrary to the glamorized accounts we often read about the lives of single women, Amy Fleury, a native of Kansas, presents us with a realistic, affirmative picture. Her poem playfully presents her life as serendipitous, yet she doesn’t shy away from acknowledging loneliness. At Twenty-Eight It seems I get by on more luck than sense,…
Juan up
When Hitchens attacks, Ann Arbor Middle East expert bests him.
Bridge over hackneyed waters
We’ve crossed that bridge so many times here at Metro Times. It’s difficult to count how many photos of the Ambassador and the Mackinac bridges — along with all the pets, babies, flowers and Goth girls — we’ve seen in 25 years. Most of the bridge shots are good, sure, and a few are grand.…
Revisiting the past
Mosaic Youth Theatre has done it again, and this is not a gloss. There’s little to criticize about the latest Mosaic offering, Hastings Street, which tips a hat to Detroit’s fabled Black Bottom neighborhood. Originally presented during the city’s tri-centennial five years ago, the play was based on oral histories culled from residents, then in…
Delightful denizens
Photographer Rick Lieder is out to change the typically repulsive reaction to insects and other backyard invertebrates. In 31 photographs, currently on display at the Detroit Zoo, Lieder sheds light on behavior at the microscopic scale through strikingly beautiful portraits of tiny creatures. The bug project began in 2002 as a self-imposed challenge to create…
Letters to the Editor
For the record Re: Brian Smith’s article on the demise of local independent record stores (“Out of the Groove,” Metro Times, May 10), I’d like to add a few words. There was a brief mention that Neptune Records of Royal Oak would be closing at the end of May due to waning sales. With a…
Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout
Do you hate censorship? Do you believe in freedom of speech? Are you against historical revisionism? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then sharpen your pencil because it’s time for a Media Blackout pop quiz. This is a two-part question with no time limit. The correct answer will be given next…
Comics
The Boiling Point – by Mikhaela Reid The Perry Bible Fellowship – by Nicholas Gurewitch
Abstinent girls put out
Q: I’m a straight guy, 17-and-a-half. I have a Catholic Christian girlfriend and we’ve been going out for more than four months now. She is still a virgin. I’ve been patient and have been waiting for her to be OK with the idea of sex through the whole relationship, but there’s been almost no advancement…
2006 Color Photo Contest Winners
First place color Thomas Yang, Novi Second place color Nicole Marie Polec, Washington Third place color Lark Kidder, Hamtramck Honorable mention color Don Jones, Pleasant Ridge Black and White photo winners Experimental photo winners Portraiture photo winners
Metal ain’t murder
Where the hell would metal be without leather, huh? How would the music “look” without the Jim Morrison pants, the motorcycle jackets, the studded wrist bands, and, of course, the Rob Halford-style homoerotic posturing? It’s a funny question because so much of metal has long been about the appearance of badassedness. But a growing number…
A Greektown gamble
Vassos Avgoustis of Cyprus Taverna talks business.
2006 Black and White Photo Contest Winners
First place black & white Joshua Band, Ann Arbor Second place black & white Dave Lewinski, Warren Third place black & white Brian Brown, Windsor Honorable mention black & white Terrilyn McQueen, Oak Park Experimental photo winners Portraiture photo winners Color photo winners
Food Stuff
Full plates for local foodies.
In The Flesh
Burning Spear Majestic Theatre Wednesday, May 10, 2006 The good times started well before roots reggae master Burning Spear appeared on a stormy night at the Majestic Theatre. A vibrant set from 15-piece Detroit ensemble Odu Afrobeat Orchestra quickly raised the collective body heat of the multi-culti crowd, so that by the time the Burning…
2006 Experimental Photo Contest Winners
First place experimental Allison Glenn, Grosse Pointe Woods Second place experimental Greg Blosser, Clawson Third place experimental Thomas Chopp, Detroit Portraiture photo winners Color photo winners Black and White photo winners
Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont
Recently widowed, Sarah Palfrey (Plowright) moves into the Claremont, a resident hotel where old Brits go to eat marmalade, watch Sex in the City and die in obscurity. One day she accidentally meets aspiring writer and all-around hunk Ludovic (Rupert Friend), whom she ends up passing off as her grandson to the other residents. Ludo…
Idolizing Pearl Jam
The dynamic of music as a shared experience is lost on you iPod people. TV, food, X-Box games, porn, IV needles — you manage to share the love there. But music? That’s something you use to shut humanity out. Ask a hundred people to name their favorite recording artist and you’ll have to ask a…
2006 Portraiture Photo Contest Winners
First place portraiture Spencer O. Kraft, Novi Second place portraiture Monica Bordé, Taylor Third place portraiture Carrie Burnett, Novi Color photo winners Black and White photo winners Experimental photo winners
Grand fare
Ideally situated for lunch for New Center workers and for dinner before and after the shows at the Fisher Theatre, the restaurant has an impressive atmosphere, with the art deco ceiling, gauzy, ceiling-to-floor curtains and large picture windows that provide views of the New Center’s impressive buildings. Despite the relative elegance of the setting, the…
10-speed city
If a bunch of cycle fans have their way, Detroit will become a bicycle mecca — if only for one day a year. On the morning of Friday, May 19, Detroit Bikes! is challenging commuters to trade their six-cylinders for 10-speeds and a mass trek downtown for Bike to Work Day. In a place the…
Poseur’s portrait
Art School Confidential effectively savages the poseurs, burnouts, hyperbolic filmmakers and failed artists-turned-professors that populate so many of our fine-art institutions. Too bad HBO’s Six Feet Under beat them to most of the punch lines. But that’s not what undermines filmmaker Terry Zwigoff (Crumb, Bad Santa) and cult comic book auteur Daniel Clowes’ incredibly disappointing…
The destruction of our America
Let’s say you have a brother who just can’t manage money or pay his bills. He’s in debt up to his eyeballs. His kids aren’t getting adequate medical care or education because of his spending. Five years ago, he did have money, but blew it all, and more, on a wasteful and destructive foreign adventure…
Water
The setting is India, 1938. In the middle of the night, 8-year-old Chuyia (the singularly named Sarala) is awoken and informed that the boy she was to one day wed, whom she never knew, has died. Her head is then shaved and she is swiftly removed from her family’s home and sent to an ashram…
A rose by any other
In the nine years that Maisha Hughes has pursued her artistic endeavors full time, she’s been laughed out of galleries, starved herself to pay for art school, and nearly let criticism ruin her dreams. She’s seen enough rejection and condescending attitudes within the Detroit artistic community to last a lifetime. Hence, the 28-year-old painter is…
Just My Luck
After a successful run of teen and preteen flicks, the raspy-voiced gossip-magnet Lindsay Lohan has decided to start her grown-up movie career with a dopey screwball comedy in which she throws parties for a living, battles suds from an overflowing washing machine and never utters anything more profane than the word “crap.” This film is…
Night and Day
PLEASE NOTE: METRO TIMES’ SUMMERGUIDE IS IN THE WORKS. If you have any summer-specific listings, please send them along. DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS is Thursday, June 1. Wednesday-Sunday • 17-21 Inner Engineering ISSUES & LEARNING For his recent appearance at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev bent the ears of countless governmental…
