Dec 17-23, 2014

Dec 17-23, 2014 / Vol. 35 / No. 10

Six Christmas songs actually worth hearing, even in January

Kurtis Blow’s “Christmas Rappin'” (get it?) is notable for being the first hip-hop track released by a major label. It was a long fight to get the music thought of as anything but novelty music by “the industry.” But then, all Christmas songs are inherently novelty numbers, and this remains a pretty great one. I…

Your soundtrack to making fun of this Scientology Christmas catalog

Not sure if you’ve seen this amazing Scientology Christmas catalog yet. It’s pretty unbelievable, even within the entire unbelievablity of their enterprise. I just started working here, so I do not want to get the place sued. In no way will I refer to Scientology as “a cult.” Also, it’s possible that making fun of…

Report: Ferndale Housing Commission’s problems continue

The Ferndale Housing Commission’s former director, Debra Wilson, recently resigned after the 52-year-old was arrested for allegedly breaking into apartments and stealing prescription drugs, but that’s only the beginning of the commission’s problems, according to a report from Oakland County One-Fifteen, an online news site.  While Wilson’s court battle plays out, Proxmire takes a deep…

News Hits: Detroit proposes timetable for urban livestock policy

You’ve heard the one about the hedge fund manager and a Detroit goat farm, right? Earlier this year, Mark Spitznagel made national headlines for opening a goat farm in Detroit’s Brightmoor neighborhood. Within days, city officials told Spitznagel to take his goats elsewhere. Then, in October, Detroit police and animal control officers seized chickens and…

It’ll probably snow this Christmas in Detroit after all

For those who coo at the thought of waking up on Christmas Day to the sight of snow, rejoice: According to the National Weather Service, metro Detroit can expect a 1-2 inch dusting on Thursday. Thanks to warmer temps, the forecast tonight calls for rain that’s expected to continue through Wednesday night, says Matt Mosteiko,…

Two groovy retro-soul live shows for your holiday times

You’ve probably thought about your New Year’s plans quite a bit already. But what about those other days in-between the 25th and Jan. 1. Surely, you might want to get out of the house and jump around to some live music, no? We’ve got quite the one-two punch if you’re in the market for some…

A super beautiful folk record for this unexpectedly sunny solstice

Montreal-based singer/songwriter Myriam Gendron made the coolest record in 2014 by taking poems written by Dorothy Parker and making them into these killer, sweet songs. I only knew of Parker as a great Algonquin Table satirist famous for her quick wit, and had no idea she wrote poems at all. I just moved here from…

MT intern Jay Lonski’s picks for the best records of the year

Twenty-five year-old Jay Lonski, one of the best interns ever, wrote up a list of his favorite records of 2014. Here are his seven choice picks for 2014, right here: Syro, Aphex Twin After more than a decade of studio silence from Richard D James – better known by his pseudonym Aphex Twin – expectations…

Rock City Eatery’s Nikita Sanches and Jessica Imbronone will appear on CNBC’s ‘Restaurant Startup’

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’)); Post by Restaurant Startup. See anybody you know in this season preview for Restaurant Startup? Rock City Eatery proprietor Nikita Sanches and his fiancé Jessica Imbronone appear (for nary…

Talking race (or trying to) with Nolan Finley

Try as I might, I can’t manage to keep my mouth closed about issues going on here. So when a producer from Michigan Radio asked if I could talk about Nolan Finley’s “Where are the black people?” column from last Sunday’s Detroit News, I jumped at it – even though the most I had done…

City Bird is bigger and better than ever

City Bird, a now five-year-old boutique in Midtown, has recently gone through a huge expansion. In fact, they’ve increased their square footage by about 50 percent. On Thursday, the shop unveiled the fruits of the construction during a special celeration.  With all the new space, they’re able to feature even more local artisans. They’ve got…

It’s the last weekend to shop at CityLoft

Guys, Christmas is next week, four days from now if you count today, and if you’re anything like us, you’re nowhere near finished shopping. The malls are open, likely with later hours than usual, and there’s always the Rustbelt and PLENTY of other local shops are open, too. (Check out our gift guide if you’re…

8 (kind of) classic Christmas movies on Netflix

Saturday is here again, Christmas is right around the corner and if you’re lucky enough to NOT have a family party to attend, you might be camped out on the couch today, needing a little Christmas cheer. Netflix (the streaming version, the version you don’t have to wait a week to arrive in the mail)…

3rd annual Bike the Blizzard in Detroit to take place next month

It will be a frigid outing, but Back Alley Bike’s annual Bike the Blizzard ride is worth bundling up for.  Now in its third year, the 24-hour marathon bike session begins at midnight, and participating riders travel as far as they can through the wintry mess. And while it’s not a ride with an entrance…

Let’s go fowling, at the Fowling Warehouse!

What is fowling? Instead of bowling a heavy ball down a lane, fowlers throw a football at 10 pins, trying to knock as many down as they can. It involves aim, a strong throwing arm, and, usually, quite a lot of beer-drinking. And the only place you can do it is at the Fowling Warehouse,…

Protomartyr & 11 other indie acts in fancy flexi-disc series

Record nerds rejoice! You can now hear some of your favorite music on the world’s shittiest sounding format – that’s right, it’s a subscription service for exclusive, cool music released on friggin flexidiscs. This is the fourth year that the label Joyful Noise has offered a flexi series. Local heroes Protomartyr join a roster of…

Satanists inspire Lansing Capitol Nativity scene

Following news that the Satanic Temple will erect their own holiday display at Lansing’s Capitol grounds, MLive points out that plans for a Christmas Nativity display were never solidified — that is, until now. Efforts by an unnamed out-of-state resident to place a Nativity scene on the Capitol grounds inspired the Satanic display in the…

After laughter comes tears

The great Memphis soul singer Wendy Rene passed away on Tuesday, from complications caused by a stroke. She only recorded for Stax from 1964 to 1967, but her singles are legendary. Her recordings were all dutifully compiled by Light in the Attic on After Laughter Comes Tears: Complete Stax & Volt Singles + Rarities 1964-1965,…

Fuck them so hard for including Prince on that torture list

I still feel sick to my stomach over all the details of the torture of detainees held by the US since 9/11, and the complicity and active engagement of so many government workers and paid consultants. I’m sure you feel this way, too. It didn’t stop when President Obama went on Colbert last week in…

Don’t believe in Christmas

Of the thousand ripoffs, variations and versions of Chuck Berry’s 1956 hit “Too Much Monkey Business,” “Don’t Believe in Christmas” by Tacoma, WA’s pride and joy, the Sonics, is one of them. I personally have a soft spot for throwaway/ novelty songs by great bands. The idea partly is that you can learn more about…

Savage Love: At the Neptune

We just did a live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Seattle’s Neptune Theatre. Audience members submitted more questions anonymously, on index cards, than we could possibly answer during the Q&A segment of the show. So I’m answering some of the questions we didn’t get to in this week’s column. Here we go: Q: My…

Politics and Prejudices: What do Democrats stand for?

Well, looking back at the year in politics, one thing became perfectly clear. The Democrats are in need of a soul. A few days ago, I sat down with term-limited Senate Minority Leader Gretchen Whitmer, one of their few stars. “I think it’s time to ask, have we lost our way as a party?” she…

MT’s 2014 top music picks

Musicians and labels continued to struggle to find new sources of revenue in 2014, though all of your non-record-nerd friends listen to albums via Spotify. Taylor Swift, president of America’s youth, made ’80s pop instead of modern countrypolitan pop. Robin Thicke outed himself as a douchebag, Ex Hex helped the rest of the world discover…

Horoscopes (Dec. 17 – 23)

Horoscopes Cal Garrison: ARIES (March 21-April 20): The way things are going, it’s either up or down, depending on the way it’s been up till now. All kinds of stuff has popped up to bring you back to center. These things take place in their own way. Those of you who are having a tough…

Year in review

This past year was a busy one for metro Detroit: The city of Detroit trudged through the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history, the Detroit Tigers clinched their division, and local favorites Detroit City Football Club broke attendance records. Join us in a look back on the year in news, sports, food, music, art, marijuana,…

11 sumptuous seasonal Detroit dishes

What do we mean when we say “seasonal dining”? Well, this time of year, it means instead of leaner cuts of meat grilled for an instant, we can dig into heartier, fattier cuts that are cooked long and slow. We trade the lighter breasts of chicken for a crackling cut of duck. And not only…

Heroes and Villains’ latest a classic Detroit record

Back in 2006, Heroes & Villains’ Themes from the Dark Pink Circus (X!) was a sort of grail to a lot of folks around here. With its mix of haunting psychedelia and pop-perfect songcraft, it was at once instantly listenable while also rewarding repeated spins. But these guys come from a rich tradition of bands…

The year in movies: The good, the bad, and the depressing

Most critics make lists. The 10 best. The 10 worst. Numbers get fudged, choices seem awfully familiar, and fanboys rage with righteous indignation that Guardians of the Galaxy isn’t honored as this year’s Citizen Kane. Sure, there’s a little of that here. But mostly this is a compendium of observations about the state of popular…

Improv Mondays at the Planet Ant are really funny

There’s a lot of garbage out there, a lot of noise. With the advent of the Internet and smartphones, YouTube, Netflix, television, and Twitter ad nauseam there is an overwhelming and nearly unlimited array of entertainment choices competing for our attention. Much of it, especially comedy, is cruel and makes its living on the downfall…

Recipes: Bring comfort and joy to the table

El Asador’s Tortilla Soup Makes 4-6 servings 2 guajillos chiles, stemmed 2 pasilla chiles, stemmed 2 tablespoons olive oil 6 plum tomatoes, chopped Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 medium-size yellow onion, coarsely chopped 4 cloves garlic, chopped 1 bay leaf 2 cups of broken tortilla chips, plus extra for garnish 4 cups…

Film Review: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies: C+ If you were hoping that the third chapter in this bloated and completely unnecessary trilogy would deliver Smaug the dragon as the epic antagonist the first two films promised, throttle your expectations. His fate is a 20-minute pre-credits “let’s get this over with” rather than a…

Ask a Juggalo: What’s a ‘scrubby?’

Q: What’s a “scrubby”? Or a “richy bitch boy”? A: A “scrubby” is a male or female Juggalo that just absolutely gives no fucks whatsoever. Doesn’t give a damn about anybody else’s opinion. Just flat-out somebody that flies by the seat of their pants, doesn’t give a damn about what the mass marketers or mainstream…

11 decadent Detroit comfort foods

Chicken and Waffles New Center Eatery 3100 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit 313-875-0088 In all the years New Center Eatery has been open in Detroit’s New Center, it has counted the political elite and local celebs among its clientele. But despite the always gracious hospitality, there’s one thing you’re never going to get from the staff,…

2014’s most overlooked stories

News flies by so fast that chances are stories go under-reported or even completely unnoticed. Unfortunately, there are always some eyebrow-raising items that don’t receive as much attention as they should. Here’s a rundown of stories in 2014 you know, some you might have missed, but all of which are worth highlighting again. 1. More…

Street food comes indoors

Over the last five years, street food has been viewed in a whole new way in our area. The flavorful foods of peddlers’ carts all over the world seem to have acquired a certain cachet. Perhaps it has to do with television programming that whisks us all across the globe in search of authentic, down-home…

Notes from the final four months of ‘Real Detroit Weekly’

For 15 years southeast Michigan had two alt-weeklies. Metro Times and Real Detroit Weekly had long been considered rival outlets, though they covered vastly different subject matter. But, on May 7, 2014 when the final issue of Real Detroit Weekly was being delivered to metal racks across metro Detroit, the two papers were feverishly working…

A 2014 Detroit art retrospective

There’s no doubt about it — 2014 was a dynamic year in Detroit art. Street art was both celebrated and vilified, some galleries closed while others opened, and the city even attracted international attention as entrepreneurs from New York and Berlin eyed its ample abandoned buildings for future arts-related developments. Here’s a look back at…

Don’t folk with the Crane Wives

The Crane Wives are going back to the drawing board. Well, it’s not as much a drawing board as it is a giant white board in the basement of drummer Dan Rickabus’ house. The white board is filled with about 30 songs, and over the next two months, one of Michigan’s most talked about acoustic…

Whistle Stop Revue is ready for Detroit

Two words are displayed prominently on the banner that spans across the stage at Short’s Brewing Company in Bellaire, Mich. “Honor cover.” It’s simple — there is no cover charge for live music at the popular brewery. Rather, patrons are expected to toss a few bucks into a keg that sits on the stage. The…

EAT listings

Ale Mary’s Beer Hall 316 S. Main St, Royal Oak; 248-268-1917; alemarysbeer.com: Situated in downtown Royal Oak, attached to Tom’s Oyster Bar, sits Ale Mary’s. It’s a newish, beer-focused bar that’s attracted quite a bit of attention from both locals and those far and wide. We wrote about their food menu and commented on the…

Dining and drinking in Detroit — 2014 in review

New restaurants all over: There were some definite areas with more activity than others, roughly grouped in locations, most of them, this year, in the city proper. Take a look, for instance, at Corktown. It may be the neighborhood with the most changes. Our February crawl down Michigan Avenue uncovered many of the places that…

7 things you need to know about Detroit dining this week

Still revolving — Tunde Wey may have moved on from Hamtramck’s Revolver, but the weekly pop-up is still hosting some high-toned names in its kitchen. Their Dec. 21 dinner featuring former Cliff Bell’s chef Matt Baldridge sold out in six hours. Next up is Michael Barrera, formerly of Birmingham’s Streetside Seafood, doing a New Year’s…

In Memoriam: Bill Bonds

Detroit lost a living link to its unruly past with the death of TV anchorman Bill Bonds last week. Bonds was tough. He knew the city he grew up in. He wandered into the 1943 race riot when he was 11 years old, climbed up a lamppost, and got a good long look at just…

Drink Up

Bacardi Superior | 40% ABV: Before 1862, before Bacardi Superior was invented by Don Facundo, rums were harsh. They were crude, unrefined, and nothing akin to the tasty, tropical liquor we now know them to be. Facundo changed the game. He crafted a liquor with tasty vanilla and almond notes, one that was aged in…

All Dolled Up: Laura Czupinski aims for speed and style

Metro Times’ Laura Czupinski is just as sweet as her style. The bargain shopper loves a good deal and doesn’t subscribe to a philosophy of combing through endless clearance racks in order to spend the bare minimum and still look cute. She’s known to sweep through Forever 21 and grab fistfuls of inexpensive scarves, pants,…

Lover’s Lane is a one-stop shop for all things intimate

You’ve perused Macy’s. You’ve hit Target. You’ve exhausted local shopping outlets, and you still haven’t found that perfect thing for that special someone this holiday season. Did you forget about Lover’s Lane? This Michigan-based chain of stores are a one-stop shop for all things intimate, whether you’re looking for ladies lingerie, festive thongs for men,…

Andy Hollyday’s Selden Standard was worth the wait

Two small plates smash-hits in a row; you’d think Detroiters had been suffering an agony of frustrated demand for the small but shareable. But more likely the reason behind the crowds at chef Andy Hollyday’s Selden Standard near Midtown, and downtown at Wright & Co. a few months before, is simply the excellence of the…

Higher Ground: Looking back on marijuana gains in 2014

Looking back on 2014, it was a tremendous year for marijuana activists with two more states legalizing, California lowering penalties for low level crime, New York City decriminalizing possession of small amounts, eight cities in Michigan legalizing, Guam voting for medical use, and generally the public opinion numbers kept moving in the right direction. Washington,…


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