The best and worst bathrooms in metro Detroit

By on Fri, Dec 15, 2023 at 4:00 am

Everybody poops. So, as this is important information for all, we decided to ask the r/detroit subreddit and our Instagram followers where the best and worst bathrooms are in the area.

Apparently, there are many Instagram pages dedicated to documenting this already, including @detroitbathrooms, @toiletsofdetroit, @detroitrockshitty, @urinalsofdetroit, and @theferndalepooper.

We were provided many detailed horror stories about disgusting toilets around the city, as well as some tales about being surprised at how nice a bathroom was. This is clearly a topic that many are passionate about.

Here’s what people told us:

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Old Miami 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit This long-standing dive bar was definitely one of the most mentioned when it comes to the absolute worst bathrooms in Detroit, mainly because the toilets are far from private. “The women are lucky enough to have a 40-year-old, dirty, stinky curtain right in their faces that serves as a door,” Dazzling-Glass8662 said on Reddit. Many others added stories about how “one wrong move” can expose you to patrons in the bar. “One night we were drinking there and I got the bubble guts. It was a very different experience seeing as how people on the bar couches could basically see me blow mud all over the toilet,” deemer1324 said. So gross, but hey — it’s a dive bar!
Steve Neavling

Old Miami

3930 Cass Ave., Detroit

This long-standing dive bar was definitely one of the most mentioned when it comes to the absolute worst bathrooms in Detroit, mainly because the toilets are far from private. “The women are lucky enough to have a 40-year-old, dirty, stinky curtain right in their faces that serves as a door,” Dazzling-Glass8662 said on Reddit. Many others added stories about how “one wrong move” can expose you to patrons in the bar. “One night we were drinking there and I got the bubble guts. It was a very different experience seeing as how people on the bar couches could basically see me blow mud all over the toilet,” deemer1324 said. So gross, but hey — it’s a dive bar!

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Lafayette Coney Island 118 W. Lafayette Blvd., Detroit If your favorite Coney Island restaurant is Lafayette, part of the experience is going to the bathroom. “Twisting down those steps feels like entering a submarine. A dirty gross submarine. One time like 30 years ago when I was kid, my dad took me there and there were literally these giant pots full of soup sitting on the floor at the bottom of the stairs just outside the bathroom door,” Redditor mikec68 said. VanDizzle313 called it “a classic relic…reminds me of Amsterdam. very shitty, very cool.” On a recent visit, we didn’t find any pots of soup.
Lee Devito

Lafayette Coney Island

118 W. Lafayette Blvd., Detroit

If your favorite Coney Island restaurant is Lafayette, part of the experience is going to the bathroom. “Twisting down those steps feels like entering a submarine. A dirty gross submarine. One time like 30 years ago when I was kid, my dad took me there and there were literally these giant pots full of soup sitting on the floor at the bottom of the stairs just outside the bathroom door,” Redditor mikec68 said. VanDizzle313 called it “a classic relic…reminds me of Amsterdam. very shitty, very cool.” On a recent visit, we didn’t find any pots of soup.

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Honest John’s 488 Selden St., Detroit Many people said this restaurant bar has the worst bathrooms, especially for the men. “The men’s room at Honest John’s is scary,” Redditor tythousand said.
Steve Neavling

Honest John’s

488 Selden St., Detroit

Many people said this restaurant bar has the worst bathrooms, especially for the men. “The men’s room at Honest John’s is scary,” Redditor tythousand said.

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Northern Lights Lounge 660 W. Baltimore St., Detroit On a less gross note, bathrooms can sometimes be great places to meet new people — such as the spacious women’s room at Northern Lights Lounge. “The friendships I’ve made and conversations I’ve had in that living room of a chill spot,​​” @0k.yams said on Instagram. Among others, one Redditor agreed, stating: “I’ll go directly to Northern Lights if I have to poop.”
Dig Downtown Detroit, Flickr Creative Commons

Northern Lights Lounge

660 W. Baltimore St., Detroit

On a less gross note, bathrooms can sometimes be great places to meet new people — such as the spacious women’s room at Northern Lights Lounge. “The friendships I’ve made and conversations I’ve had in that living room of a chill spot,​​” @0k.yams said on Instagram. Among others, one Redditor agreed, stating: “I’ll go directly to Northern Lights if I have to poop.”

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Saint Andrew’s Hall 431 E. Congress St., Detroit The bathrooms at this concert venue used to be terrible, but after some recent renovations, they’re now among the city’s best. “I went there for a show for the first time in a long time and was blown away by how palatially nice it was in the john compared to 20-30 years ago,” capthazelwoodsflask said on Reddit. “Some young, hipster douchebag had the audacity to complain about the line and condition the whole restroom was in after the show had ended. What a sweet, sheltered life he’s lived if that was nasty to him.”
Instagram, @urinalsofdetroit

Saint Andrew’s Hall

431 E. Congress St., Detroit

The bathrooms at this concert venue used to be terrible, but after some recent renovations, they’re now among the city’s best. “I went there for a show for the first time in a long time and was blown away by how palatially nice it was in the john compared to 20-30 years ago,” capthazelwoodsflask said on Reddit. “Some young, hipster douchebag had the audacity to complain about the line and condition the whole restroom was in after the show had ended. What a sweet, sheltered life he’s lived if that was nasty to him.”

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Sneakers Pub 22628 Woodward Ave., Ferndale For a few bathrooms, people felt that some of the worst were also some of the best, or at least the most iconic. This was one of them. “Worst (but favorite) bathroom in the metro is at Sneakers in Ferndale,” PrincessWhiffleball said on Reddit. “The women’s bathroom is shaped like an upside-down L. You walk in a few steps and to the right are two toilets next to each other, separated by a half wall. There is no door. If someone is on the first toilet, you either have to wait or shimmy past them to get to the second.” Many agreed with this statement, with most saying that the pub is among the worst places to take a shit. (The karaoke is fun, though!)
Google Maps

Sneakers Pub

22628 Woodward Ave., Ferndale

For a few bathrooms, people felt that some of the worst were also some of the best, or at least the most iconic. This was one of them. “Worst (but favorite) bathroom in the metro is at Sneakers in Ferndale,” PrincessWhiffleball said on Reddit. “The women’s bathroom is shaped like an upside-down L. You walk in a few steps and to the right are two toilets next to each other, separated by a half wall. There is no door. If someone is on the first toilet, you either have to wait or shimmy past them to get to the second.” Many agreed with this statement, with most saying that the pub is among the worst places to take a shit. (The karaoke is fun, though!)

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Harpos 14238 Harper Ave., Detroit Some of the most disgusting stories we got, on both Instagram and Reddit, were about the bathrooms at Harpos. Just use your toilet at home first if you plan to visit this venue, which mainly features metal and rap. “I don’t think I’ll ever emotionally recover from sloshing through the inch of standing …water… in the women’s bathroom at Harpos,” winterfoxes said on Reddit. “Do they have an actual designated restroom or are you allowed to unload where you please?” Drewtroit added. (There’s a much longer and grosser story about Harpos in our Instagram comments if you’d like to go get more proof.)
Nicholas Grunas

Harpos

14238 Harper Ave., Detroit

Some of the most disgusting stories we got, on both Instagram and Reddit, were about the bathrooms at Harpos. Just use your toilet at home first if you plan to visit this venue, which mainly features metal and rap. “I don’t think I’ll ever emotionally recover from sloshing through the inch of standing …water… in the women’s bathroom at Harpos,” winterfoxes said on Reddit. “Do they have an actual designated restroom or are you allowed to unload where you please?” Drewtroit added. (There’s a much longer and grosser story about Harpos in our Instagram comments if you’d like to go get more proof.)

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Bash Izakaya 5059 Trumbull St., Detroit This Japanese restaurant comes equipped with Japanese-style bathrooms, which are clean and pristine. “Man, I love the bathrooms at Bash,” obsa said on Reddit “Took a couple of friends there and they were pleasantly surprised that they’re heated bidets.” Sounds like maybe you should visit here just to experience the extremely nice toilets.
Instagram, @detroitbathrooms

Bash Izakaya

5059 Trumbull St., Detroit

This Japanese restaurant comes equipped with Japanese-style bathrooms, which are clean and pristine. “Man, I love the bathrooms at Bash,” obsa said on Reddit “Took a couple of friends there and they were pleasantly surprised that they’re heated bidets.” Sounds like maybe you should visit here just to experience the extremely nice toilets.

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Shinola Hotel/San Morello 1400 Woodward Ave., Detroit Another one that was mentioned when it comes to the nicest bathrooms is the Shinola Hotel. “That Shinola bathroom is plush af,” Redditor downriverrat3 said. “Plush, smells great, and is rarely busy,” added AarunFast.
2018 Google

Shinola Hotel/San Morello

1400 Woodward Ave., Detroit

Another one that was mentioned when it comes to the nicest bathrooms is the Shinola Hotel. “That Shinola bathroom is plush af,” Redditor downriverrat3 said. “Plush, smells great, and is rarely busy,” added AarunFast.

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Apartment Disco 15421 Mack Ave., Detroit No one mentioned this east side nightclub in our comments, but seeing this photo from @detroitbathrooms on Instagram, the bathroom is too groovy not to include.
Instagram, @detroitbathrooms

Apartment Disco

15421 Mack Ave., Detroit

No one mentioned this east side nightclub in our comments, but seeing this photo from @detroitbathrooms on Instagram, the bathroom is too groovy not to include.

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The Lager House 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit Warning: this is gross. “The Lager House has the worst shitter ever. Had a guy bust in the stall while I was shitting so he could vomit all over me,” Mergan_Freiman said on Reddit. “Literally came here to say Lager House. You have to stand on the toilet just to close the door. Great corned beef hash though,” MadTomCom added.
Instagram, @detroitbathrooms

The Lager House

1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit

Warning: this is gross. “The Lager House has the worst shitter ever. Had a guy bust in the stall while I was shitting so he could vomit all over me,” Mergan_Freiman said on Reddit. “Literally came here to say Lager House. You have to stand on the toilet just to close the door. Great corned beef hash though,” MadTomCom added.

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Shangri-La 4710 Cass Ave., Detroit While the whole restaurant was renovated, Shangri-La decided to keep the original bathrooms from the former Twingo’s intact, which people enjoy. “The one on the north side of the building is single occupancy, too, so you can poo alone,” Redditor AdjNounNumbers said.
Google Maps

Shangri-La

4710 Cass Ave., Detroit

While the whole restaurant was renovated, Shangri-La decided to keep the original bathrooms from the former Twingo’s intact, which people enjoy. “The one on the north side of the building is single occupancy, too, so you can poo alone,” Redditor AdjNounNumbers said.

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Leland City Club 400 Bagley St., Detroit While the ambiance and graffiti in these bathrooms are pretty cool, the cleanliness could definitely be improved. “The most iconic best/worst is Leland City Club,” @ktsdancindesig said on Instagram.
Layla McMurtrie

Leland City Club

400 Bagley St., Detroit

While the ambiance and graffiti in these bathrooms are pretty cool, the cleanliness could definitely be improved. “The most iconic best/worst is Leland City Club,” @ktsdancindesig said on Instagram.

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Detroit Fleat 1820 E. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale One Redditor had this food truck park on their list of best bathrooms because of its “whole ass private stalls.” saucya replied in agreeance stating, “Fleat does have a nice shitter.”
Google Maps

Detroit Fleat

1820 E. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale

One Redditor had this food truck park on their list of best bathrooms because of its “whole ass private stalls.” saucya replied in agreeance stating, “Fleat does have a nice shitter.”

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Russell Industrial Center 1600 Clay St., Detroit You never know what you might find at the Russell Industrial Center, and that remains true when it comes to the restrooms, at least in the artist studios. “The RUSSELL. God forbid if you gotta $H¡T. There are cleaner, safer nearby spots to facilitate, SUCH AS off I-75 service Dr. OR trackside along the Junction line, less chance of catching something,” @mi_uniquepov on Instagram said. A little dramatic, but not necessarily untrue. It should be said that the bathrooms in the renovated exhibition center space are actually quite nice.
Instagram, @toiletsofdetroit

Russell Industrial Center

1600 Clay St., Detroit

You never know what you might find at the Russell Industrial Center, and that remains true when it comes to the restrooms, at least in the artist studios. “The RUSSELL. God forbid if you gotta $H¡T. There are cleaner, safer nearby spots to facilitate, SUCH AS off I-75 service Dr. OR trackside along the Junction line, less chance of catching something,” @mi_uniquepov on Instagram said. A little dramatic, but not necessarily untrue. It should be said that the bathrooms in the renovated exhibition center space are actually quite nice.

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The Painted Lady 2930 Jacob St., Hamtramck Just because you like the place, doesn’t mean you’ll like their bathroom. “It's my favorite bar in Metro Detroit, but my god the bathroom at the Painted Lady is especially horrid,” Redditor jhp58 said. Someone on Instagram agreed, who must have worked at the bar in the past. “Painted lady forever is the worst. I accidentally made mustard gas from bleaching while cleaning it once from the urine stains,” @terps_and_burps_ said.
Facebook, The Painted Lady Lounge

The Painted Lady

2930 Jacob St., Hamtramck

Just because you like the place, doesn’t mean you’ll like their bathroom. “It's my favorite bar in Metro Detroit, but my god the bathroom at the Painted Lady is especially horrid,” Redditor jhp58 said. Someone on Instagram agreed, who must have worked at the bar in the past. “Painted lady forever is the worst. I accidentally made mustard gas from bleaching while cleaning it once from the urine stains,” @terps_and_burps_ said.

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The Corner 344 W. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale Someone was passionate about this one, and a couple of others said it was bad too. “My time has come. My most hated bathroom is the bathroom at The Corner in Ferndale,” lauriceman on Reddit said. “The bathroom is WET and smells like chlorine. Literally makes me feel like I’ve been transported to a bathroom at a public pool. To top it off there’s the circular wash fountain a la a bathroom at a baseball stadium. So two of (my personal) least favorite TYPES of restroom combine into a horrible, humid chimera at a bar where they charge $8 for a bowl of cereal.”
Instagram, @theferndalepooper

The Corner

344 W. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale

Someone was passionate about this one, and a couple of others said it was bad too. “My time has come. My most hated bathroom is the bathroom at The Corner in Ferndale,” lauriceman on Reddit said. “The bathroom is WET and smells like chlorine. Literally makes me feel like I’ve been transported to a bathroom at a public pool. To top it off there’s the circular wash fountain a la a bathroom at a baseball stadium. So two of (my personal) least favorite TYPES of restroom combine into a horrible, humid chimera at a bar where they charge $8 for a bowl of cereal.”

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Spot Lite 2905 Beaufait St., Detroit When it comes to nightclubs in Detroit, many people say Spot Lite takes the cake for coolest bathrooms. “@spotlitedetroit has by far the best bathrooms in all of Detroit,” @soundheimerdetroit said. @cherylkohs agreed: “yes, they are set up the way ALL bathrooms should be.” The bathrooms are gender-neutral, a set of spacious stalls with a common area featuring a wall of artfully arranged mirrors so you can check yourself out before you hit the dancefloor.
Layla McMurtrie

Spot Lite

2905 Beaufait St., Detroit

When it comes to nightclubs in Detroit, many people say Spot Lite takes the cake for coolest bathrooms. “@spotlitedetroit has by far the best bathrooms in all of Detroit,” @soundheimerdetroit said. @cherylkohs agreed: “yes, they are set up the way ALL bathrooms should be.” The bathrooms are gender-neutral, a set of spacious stalls with a common area featuring a wall of artfully arranged mirrors so you can check yourself out before you hit the dancefloor.

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New Dodge Lounge 8850 Joseph Campau St., Hamtramck “best bathroom. never pee on the walls,” @tiffadelic on Instagram said simply about this bar.
Instagram, @detroitbathrooms

New Dodge Lounge

8850 Joseph Campau St., Hamtramck

“best bathroom. never pee on the walls,” @tiffadelic on Instagram said simply about this bar.

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Cafe D’Mongo’s 1439 Griswold St., Detroit Here’s another love/hate relationship. “I love Dmongos with all my heart, but their bathrooms are pretty bad,” Redditor Prometheusfiregiver said. Expressing a similar sentiment, @macaronipeacock on Instagram said, “Always had a soft spot for D’Mongo’s even though [the bathrooms are] nightmarish. The more you drink the more likely you are to fall and break something.”
Flickr, What A Ride

Cafe D’Mongo’s

1439 Griswold St., Detroit

Here’s another love/hate relationship. “I love Dmongos with all my heart, but their bathrooms are pretty bad,” Redditor Prometheusfiregiver said. Expressing a similar sentiment, @macaronipeacock on Instagram said, “Always had a soft spot for D’Mongo’s even though [the bathrooms are] nightmarish. The more you drink the more likely you are to fall and break something.”

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