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Erekt, Screwd, Putty, Gum, Oomf 

It’s not dirty talk. These are the boldly named hair-care products from Fudge, a line of cleansing and styling goods shocking the heads of the chic. Women have always been told to keep our beauty tricks a secret: Primp in hiding and conceal all aids of the made-up phenomenon. But these products are making a strong social statement … or so the campaign would make it seem. It’s a strategic attempt to vanquish the ’80s attitude of attention-seeking head-care brands such as Rave, the notorious teal-colored can of hair shellac. Appealing to the mod female’s hardcore attitude, Fudge’s line of new-to-the U.S. products are packaged subtly with lowercase lettering, but with bold names such as “hair cement” and “head polish.” These statements of reform exclaim “Hell, yes, I primp — what of it, boy?!”

But who can fight the irony of sexual connotation in words such as “erekt” and “skrewd?” It’s no mystery: Mass marketing tells women not to care what other people think, just as long as their gender maintains an elusive sexy appeal. Don’t try to be sexy, just be sexy, goddamn it. Fudge Skrewd costs $16.95 for 4.2 ounces. Fudge haircare products are sold online and at London Calling Salon in Roseville.

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