Scared stiff

Sex toys that (maybe) aren't kidding

For the past two and a half years, former Detroiter and Silicon Valley transplant Molly Mounds has been patrolling — "for your pleasure, dismay and horror" — the far edges of the sex toy world for her blog Scary Sex Toy Friday ( A tough job, but someone has to do it, right? 

From the comments on the site, we'd deduce that while some followers are looking for must-have items, more are in the can't-look-away-from-the-train-wreck voyeur category. Like the reader who commented on one toy: "The underside of people's minds can be a really scary place." We'd have to go back and check to be sure whether that comment was specifically about the scorpion-shaped Death by Orgasm contraption, or maybe it was the Avatar Fleshlight. And it certainly could have applied to the Zombie Dildo, the Chernobyl Concubine doll, the Amputated Leg Dildo, the Severed Head Masturbator, the butt plug shaped like the Trump Tower and so many others. 

More than a few suggest a place where the desire for le petite mort meets the desire to be scared to death. Or maybe it's all proof that actress Bette Davis was right: "Sex is God's joke on human beings."

Clockwise from above: Pogo Stick Fucking Machine, Man Eaters From Outer Space Waterproof Vibrator, Cexxxy Cephalopod, Death by Orgasm Scorpion Bullet Vibrator. 

Scroll to read more Lust Issue articles

Join Detroit Metro Times Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.