Paris Hilton vacationed in Traverse City and all we got was this stupid blog post

click to enlarge Paris Hilton vacationed in Traverse City and all we got was this stupid blog post

Celebrities. They're just like us!

Well, OK, not quite. While we've been fumbling with the tragic unemployment system, rationing snack foods, and neglecting all forms of personal hygiene, the stars have been shining bright (no, really, how the fuck do they get their teeth that white?) with their enviable #VacationAesthetic.

Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress, America's first influencer, DJ, and the ageless woman who managed to trademark “that's hot” — two words that mean absolutely nothing — had a major Pure Michigan moment this weekend.

Baby-voiced Hilton, 39, was spotted vacationing in Traverse City with her tech startup entrepreneur and author bae, Carter Milliken Reum. The pair sported M-22 lids while boating on Lake Michigan.

“#LakeLiving with my love,” her social media caption reads.

The fragrance empress who recently released her 26th perfume, Pink Rush (her fragrance empire is worth more than $2.5 billion, by the way), also admitted to purchasing a selfie-drone and a machine that works out her abs for her, as well as gives her facials. She did not disclose the nature of her Northern Michigan visit. However, by looking at those who were tagged in her Pure Michigan-steeped Instagram post, Traverse City appears to be a vacation spot for Reum's family. Oh, she also tagged the account @hiltonpets which has 38.1k followers and is dedicated to pics and vids of The Simple Life stars' many pets, including a tiny, fluffy toy-breed she frequently dyes pink because, ugh.

Hilton, whose brief stint as a singer resulted in the underrated and equally insufferable 2006 track “Stars Are Blind,” isn't the only famous face to have recently passed through the Mitten state. In July, Justin Bieber and wife Hailey stopped at an RV resort in Monroe County on their way to Mackinac Island.

The “Yummy” singer was slated to bring his Changes tour to Detroit's Ford Field later this month. That performance has been canceled. But not because his new music sucks, or anything. Just, you know, COVID-19.

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