A Reddit thread asked users to pretend the metro area were people at a party, what would they be like?
If we had to guess, Detroit at a party would be the cool kid who drives a Hellcat and doesn’t say much, but somehow is the center of attention.
But what about the suburbs? What would Downriver, Westland, or Birmingham be like if they were people at a party?
Well, Reddit users gave us the answers and we’ve compiled a list of them here.
Downriver: wondering why nobody wants to dance them.—Mindless_Egg5954
Photo via City of Allen Park / FacebookRoseville keeps trying to get everyone to go shopping with them but it’s not happening.—bachompchewychomp
Photo via Roseville Police Department / FacebookGarden City at some point during the night/level of intoxication, they WILL perform their PomPon routine that won States, and talk about Pizza Bread. —ZeldLurr
Photo via City of Garden City / FacebookYpsilanti brought a weapon for some reason.—kimpossible69
Photo via Google MapsWestland showed up, drank too much, and stumbled out, and nobody else ever knew they were there.—craneac7
Photo via PeRshGo/Wikimedia Creative CommonsBirmingham parked on the front lawn so everyone would have to walk by his car and see how nice it is, he’s in the kitchen doing shots talking about stocks to people who don’t own any stocks.—corsair130
Photo via City of Birmingham / FacebookGrosse Pointe brought a very expensive bottle of scotch that no one wants to drink.—bachompchewychomp Photo via Notorious4life/Wikimedia Creative CommonsWarren needs to borrow a couple bucks for the bus, but will totally pay u next time they see you.—saradil25
Photo via City of Warren / FacebookLivonia is clutching their purse when someone Black is around.—kimpossible69
Photo via Livonia Community / FacebookHuntington Woods wasn’t invited to the party, but they walk their dog past the house just to see what’s going on. They’re ready to call the cops.—corsair130
Photo via City of Huntington Woods / FacebookPontiac is waiting for the music to stop playing on Spotify so they can leave with the host’s Playstation 4.—kimpossible69 Photo via City of Pontiac / FacebookHarper Woods is hanging out with Grosse Pointe whispering in their ear to ignore Eastpointe.—bachompchewychomp
Photo via Google MapsShelby Township just showed up insinuating that an election audit must be made.—AmberVials
Photo via Charter Township of Shelby/ FacebookSt. Clair Shores is there with a Hawaiian shirt and gray goatee showing pictures of his 28 foot Four Winns from 1976. He’s bald and his head is sunburned and he’s drunk but you can’t tell since he’s always drunk.—LetHerRipHang10
Photo via City of St. Clair Shores / FacebookLivonia called the cops to narc.—bagleyboi
Photo via Livonia Police Department/ FacebookSterling Heights wonders when they should leave for their shift at Fords (notice the S?).—unclefire
Photo via Sterling Heights City Hall / FacebookGarden City showed up in Cookie Monster pants and has a Nightmare before Christmas tattoo.—kimpossible69
Photo via City of Garden City / FacebookBirmingham had another party that was cooler than this one.—Skillsjr
Photo via City of Birmingham / FacebookDownriver is taking a header out the back steps after trying to sneak out with the beer.—8midgets
Photo via City of Flat Rock / FacebookTroy came to the party late, empty-handed, still in his corporate 9-5 clothes. He mixes himself a Long Island Iced Tea, does a line of your blow, then bails early to relieve his dutiful wife by putting the kids to bed.
Thirty min later, Troy’s wife shows up solo, drinks all the wine, and gets caught giving the host a handie out back.
—AlphaSchnitz
Photo via Ken Lund/ Wikimedia Creative Commons
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