The year is 2020 and you can now “skip” advertisements when watching YouTube videos or when binging some drama on Hulu. But back in the day, the television commercial was not just a form of creative expression but an absolute must-have tool in getting people to buy expensive fur coats or pack up the station wagon to head to Bob-lo Island or the Detroit Zoo. For a blast from the past, step into our slideshow — er, time machine — and take a look at some of metro Detroit’s both most memorable and cringe-worthy ads from yesteryear. Warning: you may or may not get the Tubby’s jingle in your head, and we are not responsible for any madness that may occur as a result.
Mel Farr Superstar: “And they cannot fly either!”
Though born in Texas, Farr played for the Detroit Lions, then retired from football and acquired a Ford Motor Company dealership. Though his business failed in 2002, he’s still well-remembered for the commercials that cast him as a cape-wearing superhero flying over the city.Bob-Lo Island: “Let’s Twist Again”
Just before Bob-Lo closed, it ran this catchy TV spot over and over to try to outshine Cedar Point.Detroit Institute of Arts Commercial: “You Gotta Have Art!”
This 1976 commercial borrowed the popular show tune from Damn Yankees to drum up business for the art museum.Detroit Zoo: “Zoo Stars”
This goofy little spot from local agency Doner earned many a chuckle, with the menagerie’s animals cast as temperamental performers experiencing the jitters before a big show. Silly, yes, but if you don’t giggle you don’t have a heart.Father & Son Construction Company: “No job too big …”
The friendly jingle and the somehow likable animation make this spot a keeper in heavy rotation through the 1980s.Walt Lazar Chevrolet: “Super, Super Dealer”
Speaking of jingles, the Walt Lazar Chevrolet jingle gets a reprise in this old spot, though not with the big finish. Search a little beyond this spot and you’ll find some wag has remixed it for some laughs.Highland Appliance: “Practicing the Piano”
A kid so gawky-looking he could give Napoleon Dynamite a run for his money has a problem: His mom wants him to practice the piano, but his friends want him to toss the pigskin around. With a little help from Highland, everybody will feel they got their way.Ray Whitfield and Alan Ford: “Here, Dog”
The cartoon hillbilly with the banjo and the 10-gallon hat urging his dog to go to the dealership was used so often that sometimes the voice got overdubbed for another dealership.Faygo: Comic books and rubber bands
What Faygo has to do with this creepy boat ride, we have no idea. But this earworm from the 70s is as sweet as high fructose corn syrup.Highland Appliance: “Try to Better Fretter”
We weren’t able to find the spot where Ollie Fretter says, “I’ll give you five pounds of coffee if I can’t beat your best deal.” But this spot also offers a glimpse at Fretter’s hardworking regular-guy persona.Farmer Jack: “Better than the rest”
We can’t tell which is funnier: the dramatic presentation of the lettuce or the synthesizer-laden soundtrack.Belvedere Construction Company: “We Do Good Work”
Maurice Lezell, owner of the home-improvement company and better known as Mr. Belvedere, achieved camp-hero status in Detroit in the 1970s with his no-frills television ads. Here is a representative spot.Sign of the Beefcarver: “The Recipe for FUN”
Kind of strange to hear this plodding oom-pah number that calls to mind Uncle Joe falling asleep on the car ride home after a slab of cafeteria-style beef and realizing it’s all about FUN. Yeah, sure looks like some wild times were had there in the 1990s.Towne Club: “My Goodness!”
Boy, were people crazy about saving money in the 1970s. They’d even buy the off-brand of soda so they could save a measly $2.16! Oh, wait: That was enough to buy five loaves of bread back thenChatham Supermarkets: “OKonomy Brand”
Why buy big-name products when you can buy more off-brand stuff? (Was buying less not an option in 1980?)WXON TV: The Thriller
Afternoon horror double features were a staple on UHF channels like WXON-TV. And each station had its own workmanlike commercial for the show. Best of all, though, were the station breaks, which often mixed horror footage with “scary-sounding music” which was, more often than not, Zeppelin.The Broadway: Lets Dance in LEATHER!
Any commercials that use David Bowie tunes to sell high fashion leather wearables is very hip in our book, but not as hip as that two-toned military-style jacket with matching leather pants.Channel 7 News: “Stand Up and Tell Them You’re From Detroit!”
Hey, the 1970s were a scary time in Detroit, with murder, disinvestment, crime, and arson. But even if people across America took three steps back when you said you were from here, that wasn’t going to stop the Channel 7 Action News team. Here you’ll see the whole gang, including Billy Bonds, urging you to stand tall and tell those motherfuckers you’re from Detroit. (And pop off a few rounds in case they’re still standing there.)Waterbed Gallery with Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns
Remember waterbeds? Aside from being potentially responsible for many stiff necks, wobbly sex, and seasickness, waterbeds were apparently the preferred mattress of local boxing legend Tommy The Hitman Hearns, who went the distance in this knockout 1984 ad for Waterbed Gallery.Ciao
More David Bowie? Damn, Detroit fashion was having a moment when this ad for Ciao dropped. Looking for summer clothing that screams excitement, drama, and new directions? Look no further than Ciao, which, like The Broadway, was located in Downtown Detroits Fashion District and catered to fashion risk-takers.Dittrich Furs: … Since 1893
What we wouldnt have given to be able to be in the room when this iconic commercial was approved by Dittrich Fur execs. Ah, yes. Lets put a woman in a massive fur coat while riding on a horse through the snow in slow motion, because if that doesnt get someone to buy a dead animal skin, we dont know what will. This local commercial favorite was spoofed by Tim Robinson and Sam Richardsons short-lived Motor City-centric Comedy Central series Detroiters because its just that good.D.O.C.: Sexy Specs!
At some point, likely in the ’80s, wearing glasses meant you were never going to get laid. Nerd! Enter metro Detroit optometrist and glasses chain D.O.C. and their leather-clad CEO Richard Golden. The Sexy Specs campaign aimed to, well, get people laid, four eyes and all.Wonderland Music: The Taxman Cometh
If the taxman were an actual man, we hope he would be exactly how he is depicted in this badass ad for the now-shuttered Wonderland Music, in which the taxman comes in wearing a black hood, swinging an ax.WRIF: Remarkable Mouth
Hey, heres one thats still around. Detroit radio station The WRIF launched some ads in the ’80s in which a woman mouths the words as voices of WRIFs disc jockeys and Autographs Turn Up The Radio is dubbed in.Mr. Alans: $29 or 2 for $50!
Need to step up your game on the court? See Mr. Alan, the animated mascot for this discount footwear retailer with perhaps one of the more memorable taglines in metro Detroit commercial history: $29 or 2 for $50 meaning you could snag two pairs of name brand kicks for just $50.Little Caesars: Ever heard of origami?
OK so Little Caesars could have many entries on this list because the pantsless metro Detroit pizza peddler had many memorable moments. But this commercial, which makes no sense, features a Little Caesars employee who may or may not be actor Alan Cumming who turns a pizza box into a pterodactyl.Vernors: Ted Nugent says Hey Pierre, Wheres The Good Stuff?
Back before Ted Nugent was more famous for being a right-wing asshat than for being a rockstar, he also drank the nectar of the gods: Vernors. In this commercial, The Nuge heads to a swanky afterparty with piles of caviar, sushi, shrimp, and steak tartare. Hey, Pierre. Wheres the good stuff? Nuge demands of a poor caterer, grabbing him by the chest. Before he gives ol Pierre a beatdown, he discovers a cooler filled with Vernors. Now Im ready to rock and roll!R.J. Rice Studios: Tight Bottom Bass
Maybe not a famous commercial in metro Detroit history but certainly worth noting that R.J. Rice Studios was the place where hip-hop hopefuls could become legit MCs.Dominos Pizza: Nasty Noid
Um, so, we didnt know what or who Dominos mascot The Noid was supposed to be, but according to a Wikipedia entry, its pretty deep(dish) when you think about it. Apparently, this nasty character created in the ’80s was a physical manifestation of all the challenges inherent in getting a pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.Tubbys Submarines: The Dance of the Anthropomorphic Meat
Who doesnt love anthropomorphic veggies and meat logs who perform together in a band celebrating a submarine sandwich chain?Hudson’s: “… We’ve Got Your Style“
Ask any millennial’s grandparent in metro Detroit about Hudson’s and we guarantee they have memories attached to the department store, which was the place to shop and be seen shopping. The massive department store in downtown Detroit was the heart of the city’s retail offerings.Great Scott: Geez, get a room already!
If you remember Great Scott grocery stores, then you likely remember the chains commercials in which they declare We love you to their shoppers because nothing says cleanup on aisle five quite like sloppy, gushy customer appreciation.
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