We all know that we’ll never get that letter to Hogwarts, take the Hogwarts Express to the castle, and get sorted into one of the four Houses, but I’d be sure fun if we could. And who hasn’t imagined themselves in one of the Houses before, too? If you’re kind of diabolical, you may think you’re in Slytherin. If you’re Mr. Popular, Gryffindor. If you had a 4.0 GPA, Ravenclaw. And if you kind of just blend in with the crowd, you’d probably be in Hufflepuff.

We took this a step further and thought about what House a notable Detroit celebrity would be in, and boy was it fun.

And please forgive the awful photoshop job — we were going for the laugh and not precision.

Al photos from Facebook and Shutterstock.

Enjoy! 

Rick Snyder
Slytherin So bad that he started a new rise of Death Eaters.
Dan Gilbert
Dan Gilbert Slytherin Do we even need to explain this one?
Steve Yzerman
Ravenclaw Yzerman borders that line of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Something just tells us that he’s really smart and would fit in with the other Ravenclaws.
Aretha Franklin
Gryffindor Duhh.
Jack White
Ravenclaw Have you been inside Third Man’s Cass Corridor shop yet? Only a Ravenclaw has the brains to think of a place so innovative and fun.
Madonna
Madonna Slytherin Madonna isn’t afraid to cut a bitch to get what she wants, and we love her for that.
Eminem
Slytherin Marshall Mathers is just a misunderstood Slytherin.
Iggy Pop
Gryfindor Such a rock hero. How can he not be a Gryffindor?
Mona Hanna-Attisha
Ravenclaw The woman who exposed the lead water in Flint is obviously a Ravenclaw. She’s smart and a hero.
Barry Sanders Credit: Courtesy photo
Gryffindor The shining light in Detroit Lions football. We bet he’d be fantastic at Quidditch, too.
Mitch Albom
Slytherin Albom seems a bit shady at times, right?
Mike Ilitch
Gryffindor The entire Illitch family would be Gryffindors. Only because when the Sorting Hat was placed on their heads they asked it to be a Gryfindoor instead of a Slytherin because they don’t want a bad public image.
Kwame Kilpatrick
Slytherin For obvious reasons.
Kid Rock
Hufflepuff No one likes you, Kid Rock. Go home.
Henry Ford
Ravenclaw You don’t invent cars and not be in Ravenclaw. The entire Ford family has all been in Ravenclaw, too.
Gordie Howe
Gryffindor Obvious.
Mike Duggan
Hufflepuff Hufflepuffs are kind of just there, much like Mayor Duggan.
Big Sean
Gryffindor Again, duhh.
Uncle Kracker
Hufflepuff When you spell “Kracker” with a “K” you deserve to be in Hufflepuff with your friend Kid Rock.
Danny Brown
Ravenclaw Just listen to Brown’s newest album and you’ll realize he’s so much more than a rapper.
Alice Cooper
Hufflepuff Alice Cooper looks like a crazy, scary looking guy, but he is such a nice guy that he’d be a Hufflepuff.

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