Many cities are a world of their own, and in Detroit, there is a language that only Detroiters understand, and with that comes insults that only people from metro Detroit can be deeply wounded by. For those moments that need a slick comeback that is more tooth and nail than usual, we’ve collected some of the most cutting Detroit insults, some from Redditors and some of our own, that only a true metro Detroiter will get.
“You’re so ugly that not even the ever-watching eye of Joumana wants to look at you.” – NotAnActualWolf Credit: Lee DeVito“You smell like Zug Island.” – stos313 Credit: Notorious4life, Wikimedia Creative Commons“That’s some 7 Mile shit.”
– pandaandteddy Credit:Instagram, @qthequestion“You probably stop for traffic lights.” – Nightcaste Credit: Shutterstock“You cute…for an East Side girl.”
– rehtenk Credit: Google Maps“Shit always flows downriver.” – carlessdriver Credit: Wikipedia/Tim Kiser“Your mom works on 8 Mile.” – kill-69 Credit: Shutterstock“You went to Cranbrook, that’s a private school!” – stos313 Credit: Screenshot via YouTube“You’re more of a disaster than the Pistons’ last season.” Credit:Michael Barera, Wikimedia Creative CommonsThe way too early sighting of motorcycles, Corvettes, and any Dodge-made sports car
You can hear the roar of the engines return to the streets of Detroit. Just remember the Lodge freeway does, in fact, have a speed limit. Credit: Noah Wulf/Wikimedia Commons“I saw your mom last night at one of the horniest bars in Detroit.” Credit: Facebook, Orchid Ferndale“That’s that east side shit.”
– Black_Fuckka Credit: Google Maps“You’re more of a letdown than Detroit’s public transportation.” Credit: Wikmedia Commons“You’re so stupid you think ‘wutupdoe’ is something you say to deer.” – stos313 Credit: Steve Neavling“Go back Downriver!” – NotAnActualWolf Credit:Redfin.com“You don’t know your rights.” – technicalityNDBO Credit: Steve Neavling“That’s that westside shit.” Credit: Google Maps“Your girl waits longer for you to make her finish than she waits for the train in Ferndale.”
– Agreeablemartini Credit: Shutterstock“This girl I used to date asked me to kiss her where it stinks, so I took her to Hamtramck!”
– Delicious-Skill-617 Credit: Bill Walsh, Flickr Creative Commons“You look scarier than Jim Fouts.” Credit: City of Warren
Layla McMurtrie is the digital editor of Detroit Metro Times. She's passionate about art, music, food, and Detroit's culture and community. Her work has been featured in the Detroit Free Press, Between...
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