Nov 27 – Dec 3, 2019

Nov 27 - Dec 3, 2019 / Vol. 40 / No. 8

Cover Stories

It’s nipply, er, nippy out, which means it’s time to watch ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ at Detroit’s Redford Theatre

Two words: Randy Quaid. That’s it. That’s the blurb. No, but really, Quaid’s portrayal of Cousin Eddie, the unfiltered, trailer-dwelling, black sheep of the Griswold clan, provides some of the greatest moments in all of the National Lampoon vacation movies, but shines especially bright, er, dim, in the franchise’s Christmas entry. Per usual, the well-intentioned,…

’30 Rock’ star and man of many hats Judah Friedlander is coming to Detroit

Throughout the entire 138-episode run of NBC’s 30 Rock, the unmotivated, deadpan, and libidinous sketch writer Frank, played by Judah Friedlander, wore a total of 204 trucker hats, each one displaying a label, warning, or instructional message: “Horny,” “Time Travel Agent,” “Wet to Activate,” and “Half Centaur,” to name a few. With 30 Rock behind…

Holy shit, we got a letter!

Dear Editor, I like the features “News & Views,” “Feedback,” and “This Modern World.” Maybe “Feedback” could include more letters. Advertisements for places like “The Morrie” should have a separate page. I like everything in your news content. Let us hope Donald Trump will be voted out of office in November 2020. Sincerely, Frank Podsadlo…

Hey, you — Metro Times is seeking 2020 editorial interns

Looking for an opportunity to build your writing portfolio while getting college credit? Then look no further, because Metro Times is currently seeking 2020 editorial interns. As an editorial intern, you’ll have the opportunity to develop your writing skills while gaining newsroom experience. Do you want to pursue music journalism? Investigative reporting? Maybe you’re a…

Detroit’s Winter Blast returns as free, weekend-long fest in 2020

Detroit’s annual Winter Blast, now in its 15th year, is back — but with some changes. This year, the fest returns as a one-weekend event. Last year, Winter Blast ballooned to four weekends, and also dropped its previous $3 ticket fee. This year’s festival remains free, however. 2020’s Winter Blast (officially billed as The Quicken…

Stone Temple Pilots announce acoustic album and tour, Detroit date

Alt-rockers Stone Temple Pilots are mixing it up. The band, which is now fronted by metro Detroit native Jeff Gutt, recently announced Perdida — it’s eighth studio album and first to be all-acoustic. The record is due Feb. 7. To celebrate the record, the band announced a 15-date acoustic tour, which will feature songs from…

Recreational pot prices are high in Michigan’s legal market

Recreational marijuana sales began in Michigan on Sunday, ending decades of prohibition. But cannabis consumers who waited in long lines to celebrate the historic day were greeted with prices far higher than the black market. The cost of an eighth-ounce of premium flower hovered at $50 to $60 — nearly twice what you’d pay with…

Santa drinks revived Detroit beer Altes in holiday ads by Doner

Altes, a historic Detroit beer, is back — and nobody could be happier about it than Santa. The folks behind the relaunch of the lager, which originated in Detroit sometime around 1910, have teamed up with Southfield-based ad agency Doner to bring six new holiday-themed commercials to Facebook and YouTube, all starting on Thanksgiving Day.…

Second Michigan resident dies from lung injury linked to tainted THC vaping

The marijuana vaping-linked lung injury has claimed the life of a second Michigan resident, the state announced Wednesday. The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) said it was notified of the man’s death on Tuesday. “We are deeply saddened to announce a second death associated with this outbreak,” Dr. Joneigh Khaldun, chief medical…

Michigan man found WWI grenade while magnet fishing in Grand Rapids

Magnet fishing — it’s a thing, and exactly what it sounds like. Last year, we interviewed a pair of magnet fishing enthusiasts in Detroit who found two guns at the bottom of Detroit’s canals, one perhaps nearly 100 years old. A Grand Rapids-area magnet fisherman has them beat, though. On Tuesday, Joseph Alexander fished out…

Donald Trump isn’t on trial. The Republican Party is.

The most incisive moment of the impeachment inquiry’s public hearings came at the very end, on Thursday afternoon, courtesy of Intelligence Committee chairman Adam Schiff, the former federal prosecutor who had spent two weeks methodically constructing the case that Donald Trump had wantonly abused his office only to watch his Republican colleagues bury their heads…

The Best CBD Gummies, Oils, and Creams for Christmas

If you have been looking for a fun and memorable Christmas gift that won’t get thrown in a drawer with old socks, it is time to look at hemp-derived CBD. Not only is it completely safe and legal across the nation, it offers marvelous benefits on the mind and the body as marijuana’s THC without…

Savage Love: My husband is so boring in bed

I’m a heterosexual cis woman in a monogamous marriage. My husband and I have always struggled to connect sexually, mostly because he has extreme anxiety that makes doing anything new or different difficult. He’s been in therapy since before I met him, but it doesn’t seem to be helping much. His anxiety has caused him…

Horoscopes (Nov. 27-Dec. 3)

ARIES | March 21 – April 20: Recent encounters have altered your perspective and changed the way you see things. With a new sense of what will work and what won’t, you feel empowered to press forward with plans that will slowly but surely turn into the most important thing you’ve ever done. Pressure to…


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