Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): A reader wrote the following letter to *Parade* magazine columnist Marilyn vos Savant: "When you’re asleep and dreaming about performing calorie-burning activities such as running, jumping and flying, do you burn more calories in reality as opposed to when you’re dreaming about doing something low-impact?" If you wrote me an inquiry…
In The Flesh
Oasis Meadowbrook Music Festival June 18 Most blowhards have moved from dismissing Oasis’s Beatles fetishism to skewering the group’s lukewarm LPs and perfunctory live performances. There’s some truth there — this year’s Don’t Believe the Truth is only marginally better than 2002’s Heathen Chemistry, and Oasis famously plays the same set each night. But as…
Mixtape Freakout!
Various Artists Mitten Militia Mixtape Vol. 2 NEI Records TASHERRE D’ ENAJETIC is back at it again biggin’ up the best hip-hop talent in Michigan on this solid underground comp. All 22 tracks boast some of the mitten’s finest undiscovered MC’s, from Grand Rapids, Port Huron, Ann Arbor, Highland Park and beyond; D’ Enajetic dug…
Beyond beef
It’s near midnight, on a muggy Friday, June 4, 2004. Ryan “Royce da 5’9″” Montgomery and DeShaun “Big Proof” Holton, two of Detroit’s most respected international rappers, confront each other on a downtown street. A heady conflict had been brewing between the two, and tonight it comes to a head. Royce and Proof are puffed…
The punk meets the modfather
Ian McLagan doesn’t need an introduction, does he? In fact, the somewhat unsung organist of the Small Faces (with Steve Marriott, Ronnie Lane and Kenney Jones) and, later, the Faces (with Lane, Jones, Rod Stewart and Ron Wood) is suddenly a huge influence on contemporary rock ’n’ roll. Look no further than the Sights for…
Comics
This Modern World Red Meat
Big Bird, meet Karl Rove
Last week, many people who used to call themselves liberals, back when that was allowed, were burning up the blogs, near-giddy with excitement. Why? They figured that Karl Rove, the legendary architect of Bush’s election victories and much-feared evil genius, had finally screwed up — big time. That’s because of what he said at a…
In Your Honor
Ed. — This guy Art is an alcoholic meth freak who lives in a trailer. He used to, or still does, review porn movies for a living. We happen to dig his writing. A textbook argument in favor of drummers sticking to the stool. This isn’t even worth the time it takes to let a…
House bloat
Maybe it’s true, maybe not — the story about the 19th century rich man who built his mansion in Brush Park, now a tumble-down wreck between Comerica Park and Harper Hospital, but 120 years ago, the millionaires-row of pre-auto Detroit. The rich man thought he’d exhausted every possible means of showing off his wealth. Then…
Art Bar
FIGHTING THE FIRE — In the recent fire that destroyed Piquette Storage in Detroit, Swords into Plowshares lost a lot. The local theater company used the facility to store sets, props, lighting equipment, flats, stage covers, masking, costuming and antique furniture. The fire consumed more than a decade’s collected material. The company is asking friends…
Cutting words
He walks into a local Borders or Barnes & Noble and buys some great books. He takes them home and slices them with a band saw or cuts craters into them with a 6-inch grinder. Then he returns to the store and places them back on the shelves. At 23, Miroslav Cukovic is one of…
Backslash
LAST JUNE, Attorney General John Ashcroft announced the creation of Title 18 Section 2257, an amendment to the Child Protection and Obscenity Enforcement Act. The law required that all adult Web sites provide records to prove that “every performer portrayed in a visual depiction of actual sexually explicit conduct” is over the age of 18.…
On coveting your older brother’s lover
Q: BACKGROUND: NOT LONG ago, a certain woman went from being my brother’s “fuck-buddy” to being his girlfriend. From what I can tell, she is GGG (or maybe he is) and they have a creative sex life. I am in my mid-30s, my brother and his girlfriend are in their early 40s. So here I…
Sleight of mind
Is it possible to communicate with the dead? Magicians and illusionists have made it their life’s work to convince the public that it is — while making a buck or two in the process. But, is it real or illusion? Or perhaps a little of both? A séance typically involves a congregation of people huddled…
Media Blackout
Step right up! Don’t be shy! Who’ll be the first rube to empty their pockets? It’s the clairvoyant crystal ball edition of MB39! • Live 8 (Shell Out for UNICEF) :: Bangladesh. Live Aid. Nicaragua. Farm Aid. Kampuchea. Band Aid. There’s nothing like a bunch of multimillionaire rock stars supporting their personal pet projects on…
Dance riot structure
Time sure flies when you’re not having fun. Detroit’s dance music community has been comparatively quiet since late last month, when the Fuse-In fest converted the sleepy D into the Ibeza of the Great Lakes. But now, instead of dancing to weird wonderful beats and, um, sharing da love, we’re back to bitching about who…
TasteFest ass quake
Beats, bass, booty and buildings. That unlikely combo has worked for a run of great DJs who have rocked the Pure Detroit Stage during the annual 5-day TasteFest weekend. In recent summers, John Acquaviva, Carl Craig, Rich Hawtin, Derrick May, Terrance Parker, Clark Warner and others have bounced their music between the Fisher and New…
We’re No. 11!
The official numbers won’t be released until Thursday, June 30, but one area demographer is predicting that the latest U.S. Census figures will bring landmark news for the city of Detroit. Given the way things have been going here lately, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that these tidings aren’t expected to be uplifting.…
Mice job
In a city that has more than its share of bad landlords, the results of inspections at two facilities housing Detroit seniors weren’t all that unusual. Inspectors from the city’s Buildings and Safety Engineering Department found mice in the trash compactor room, a roach infestation, moldy ceiling tiles, problems with the smoke detectors, circuit breakers,…
Fighting for health
The country is in the midst of a health care crisis. We all know that. As costs skyrocket and politicians address the problem with lip service instead of reform, people across the country are left bankrupt and begging for mercy. Given that disheartening big picture, some Ferndale residents are trying to take matters into their…
Ladder days
This sprawling three-story building at 9512-9520 Woodward Ave. in Detroit’s historic Arden Park-East Boston neighborhood has gone through many changes since its construction in 1915. Originally a working firehouse — Ladder 15 according to a Detroit firefighter’s historical Web site — the building became a nursing home in the 1960s. In fact, some of the…
Proactive
PEACE ON PARADE — Looking for something to do on the Fourth of July that’s a little more soul-satisfying than just roasting wienies on the barbecue? If so, we have just the ticket. The good folks at the Huntington Woods Peace, Citizenship and Education Project would like you to join them as they march in…
Night and Day
WEDNESDAY • 29 FIREWORKS ON THE RIVER HOLIDAY/FUN FOR ALL When Detroit City Council recently approved a no-nonsense budget plan — to the dismay of Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick — the controversial glad-hander threatened to put the kibosh on the city’s annual fireworks display, saying he couldn’t guarantee spectators’ safety with a police force reduced by…
Open and shut
Mama’s not the only one with a squeezebox, and daddy may be glad he can’t sleep at night. But businessmen looking for a quiet stay at the Hyatt Regency in Dearborn this week are in for a surprise. As part of 2005 American Accordionists’ Association (AAA) Festival, hundreds of accordionists and accordion aficionados from all…
Head Cheese
DETROIT’S CYRIL LORDS like clean lines, the economy that comes with being a trio. But clean doesn’t necessarily mean pretty. The band is a trim, mod-cut suit, sure, but the cuffs are scuffed and there’s a little delta mud on the pant legs. When guitarist Marty “Mother” Morris sings, he’s haughty, beleaguered and soulful, the…
Table scraps
Some finds, some tips and a little bit of news: Lazybones SmokehouseIf you’re going to the 2005 Comerica TasteFest, Thursday through July 4 in the shadow of the Fisher Building, make a point — I mean it — to stop by Lazybones’ booth and try a plateful of some true, Southern- and Western-style barbecue. The…
Letters to the Editor
A triple frown The 2005 award for the Most Tasteless Example of Worthless Journalism goes to Jonathan Cunningham, for his glowing story crediting Vicki Stringer and Triple Crown Publishing with attracting new readers and improving literacy rates in urban communities across America (“Romancing the hood”, Metro Times, June 22). So let me get this straight:…
How the wolf survives
Last year Los Lobos released their 11th album, The Ride. Besides a cover shot that features the band strolling through the barren desert — which would make the Minutemen leap out of their folding chairs — it also sports a Cesar Rosas collaboration with Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter. This year, we also have Los…
The real thing
It should be noted that G. Love — proprietor of the Special Sauce band, established basketball freak (check “Shooting Hoops” on his self-titled 1994 debut) and proud denizen of Philadelphia — put in his Pistons-Spurs prediction. “Gotta go with the Eastern Conference,” he says, calling from Philly the day of Game 7. Unfortunately, it doesn’t…
Closing time for the corner bar?
I’m all for neighborhood revitalization, but there comes a time when those doing the revitalizing go a bit too far. According to a June 20, Associated Press story, I think this might apply to what’s going on in Chicago — and what I sincerely hope doesn’t one day happen here in Detroit. In a nutshell,…
Flavor to savor
Open since May 2000, Assaggi Mediterranean Bistro has become a popular dining place, known for its attractive atmosphere and creative menu. Its Mediterranean dishes are influenced by Italian, French, Middle Eastern and Spanish cuisines, including such items as wood-fired pizza, antipasti, sea bass and sea scallops with hand-rolled pasta. Owners George and Josie recommend first-timers…
Lysergic time capsule
“Acid” is right. Practically every cut on San Fran neanderthud trio Acid King’s third full-length opens very gradually, just like the tentative onset of an LSD trip. Ditto the full-sensory explosion that inevitably follows, smacking you into psycho-physical submission. Subscribing to a low-end theory similar to the Melvins, Sleep and Electric Wizard, the band —…
Love & betrayal
Two girls from different social classes (Natalie Press and Emily Blunt) start a strangely obsessive friendship in this British coming-of-age tale. Don’t let the navel-gazing, teen-girl subject matter turn you off: Pawel Pawlikowski’s assured drama can be hypnotic, humorous, sensual and menacing, all at the same time.
Rize
An alternative to gangs, Clowning and Krumping are forms of dance born in south central Los Angeles. In his new film, Dave LaChappelle captures the rise of this art form and the complicated web of Los Angeles gang life. The cultural value of these dances is akin to breakdancing, bootdancing and other forms of African…
Bewitched
In this lame, self-referential TV remake, an egotistical actor (Will Ferrell) is cast opposite a real witch (Nicole Kidman) when he tries to remake the classic mischievous-witch sitcom. Director Nora Ephron’s showbiz spoof suffers from miscasting the leads, but it’s the would-be witty script that really sinks the film.
Land of the Dead
Leave it to George A. Romero – godfather of the modern zombie flick – to bring some much-needed existentialist dread back to the genre. Land of the Dead isn’t as slick as either 28 Days Later or last year’s Dawn of the Dead remake, but what it lacks in style it more than makes up…
Herbie: Fully Loaded
Lindsay Lohan plays against her party-girl tabloid type in this bright, cheery revival of the once-popular possessed-car franchise. This new Herbie may not be particularly witty, but it’s a fun, visually inventive fantasy that’ll keep preteens in their seats for 100 minutes or so.
