Learning to scrawl
Editor’s note: An earlier, inaccurate version of this story appeared in print. The version below has been corrected. Listen, here’s a little good news, and couldn’t we all use it? When some gasbag starts barbering on about how rich kids are spoiled, poor kids are criminals and the world’s generally going to hell, tell the…
Read all about it
Q: Why was The Detroit News sold to Singleton? A: Osama bin Laden didn’t offer $100 more. The day before the Detroit newspapers were sold, someone from the trade journal Editor and Publisher called to tell me about it. Naturally, none of the inmates had been told, and the response of one fairly high-ranking…
50 Cent vs. Gene Simmons: Who’s the Original G?
Now that Em’s quitting, it’s time for 50 “Fiddy” Cent to become rap’s most valuable playahhh. At this point in his career, Mr. Cent (in New York Times lingo) can break the old tradition of getting murdered (see Tupac, Biggie) before fate forces you to star in a UPN sitcom. Further, he can break the…
Is my boyfriend being straight?
Q: I have been seeing this great guy for about two years now. A few months back I stumbled upon some she-male photos on our computer. When I confronted him, he said that it was in response to a “nightmare” he had from watching HBO late at night or something. I asked him to be…
Raw Power
Warning: The following article does not constitute an endorsement of current phonographic products. –Editor Back in the day, if you believed what Rolling Stone and certain other corners of the media said, the Stooges were newsworthy but, musically speaking, negligible. By printing the above disclaimer to accompany its April 1, 1970, article on the Stooges,…
Blues and good news
Whoever winds up winning the mayor’s race in November, and whoever we end up with on City Council, Detroit’s future will still be largely decided by the people who live here and work here. Without a strong core of citizens committed to improving the quality of life in this city, citizens who are willing to…
The Ill life
It’s a Sunday afternoon overlooking a freshly manicured football field at Mumford High School on Detroit’s West Side. Two chunky, middle-aged women and a couple of well-fed teens are walking hastily around the red polyurethane track, avoiding puddles left from last night’s rain. “That’s all people are concerned about these days; trying to lose something,”…
Poetry’s beer leagues
My 56-year-old dad plays hockey once a week, at odd hours, in a four-team league with other men his age. They are amateurs, of course, and always have been. Every rink I know of offers such leagues to adults from their 20s to their 60s. Collectively, these are called “the beer leagues.” By his league’s…
Group work
The day of creation and destruction begins like a dream with some dialogue and meditation. I’m sitting on a wooden stoop in a yard that resembles a junked-up Eden, and there’s a frying pan at my feet. A giant rusted fish is staring at me with eyes the size of film reels, and a little…
Swapped
There were a few key points that didn’t get much play in all the coverage provided by the reporters, columnists and editors at The Detroit News and Free Press when ownership of the papers they work for changed hands last week. The blockbuster deal disclosed last Wednesday has Gannett, the country’s largest newspaper chain, obtaining…
Letters to the Editor
Shame on Detroit For the past five years Detroiters have been angrily accusing the Detroit Public Schools reform board of disenfranchising African-Americans and destroying the quality of our public schools. So, when given the chance to reclaim our right to vote and determine the destiny of our Detroit Public Schools what did most Detroiters do?…
Comics
This Modern World Red Meat Comix
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): You wouldn’t plant a rosebush in a spot where a geyser erupts periodically, would you? You wouldn’t build a romantic hideaway on the bank of a river that floods every year, right? So please say you won’t be careless as you track down the best place to express your love and…
Rock action!
Metro Times caught up with guitarist Ron Asheton on the eve of a Stooges European tour for a lightning round of Stooges Trivial Pursuit. Metro Times: Opinion on the reissues? Any surprises? Ron Asheton: I haven’t heard them yet, but the Fun House reissue has the extended original version of “Ann.” There was a…
Art Bar
American Life in Poetry by Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate At the beginning of the famous novel, Remembrance of Things Past, the mere taste of a biscuit started Marcel Proust on a seven-volume remembrance. Here a bulldozer turns up an old doorknob, and look what happens in Shirley Buettner’s imagination. Discovered While clearing the…
Backslash
Superman is a dick — In light of the forthcoming remake of Superman, set to hit the theaters in 2006, be aware: Superman isn’t actually a great guy. No, Superman is really a dick. At least, that’s the story according to superdickery.com. This Web site is a collection of old comic book covers and panels…
Head cheese
Not to get all overwrought on your ass, but Oneida is a piquant gumbo of influences, from Krautrock to spasmodic new wave, topped with a fuzzed-out ’60s garage-blues sassafras. When guitarist Papa Crazy bailed in 2001, the band transformed further. Its subsequent albums as a trio kicked the heady psychedelic and experimental aspects into gear.…
Proactive
For the birds — If getting up at the crack of dawn to hunt for bird carcasses under cell phone towers (and get paid for it) sounds like your cup of tea, then look no further: Central Michigan University is seeking technicians for a study on avian mortalities caused by collisions with communications towers. The…
When we used to play
The Majestic Complex (Garden Bowl, Magic Stick, Majestic Theatre and Café) in Detroit has been known as a rock ’n’ roll hangout for a long time now. This is where Jack beat up Jason, Italy Record’s Dave Buick and members of the Hentchmen spin records, and a variety of other would-be hipsters got their “start.”…
In The Flesh
THTX Small’s Aug. 4, 2005 The four THTX members don’t waste time. They hop on the Small’s stage, plug in and immediately begin firing sonic meteors at the dozen or so people in the crowd. The music is loud, molten and driven, launched into the cosmos by guitars, synths, horns and percussion. Mics are present…
Summer wood
Since we’re iced indoors, venturing forth onto the frozen tundra only when necessary, for at least four months a year, it’s only natural that Detroiters relish outdoor events the rest of the year. Throw together some food, street culture and live music — especially in a town that needs no excuse to party — and…
Media Blackout
Now I’m not saying we won’t get our hair mussed, Mr. President, but I estimate we’re looking at no more than MB43, tops! • Buckwheat Zydeco — Jackpot! (Tomorrow) :: Purists may decry the primitive Bill Haley commerciality of songs like “Rock, Boogie, Shout” but Buck’s turgid, son, which is why this just might be…
Keeping the faith
Think about this: Ella Fitzgerald, Tony Bennett, Sammy Davis Jr. and Smokey Robinson have all performed arrangements by Detroit trumpeter Ed Nuccilli. It’s true. In fact, this 80-year-old founder of the Plural Circle orchestra has penned more than 400 big-band arrangements in a career that’s spanned nearly six decades. “I always knew that I wanted…
Night & Day
Thursday-Saturday • 11-13 Detroit Fashion Week ART Even if the only supermodel you’ll see around these parts is Jack White’s new wife, that doesn’t mean Detroit’s first “fashion week” doesn’t deserve a chance. Fashionistas should make their way to the 4731 Gallery for an exhibit of fashion photography and illustrations, as well as three runway…
Shuffling the deck
Last week, Knight Ridder swapped two of its newspapers — the Detroit Free Press and the Tallahassee Democrat — for three smaller but quite profitable papers owned by Gannett in Washington state and Idaho. In turn, while accepting the Free Press with its right hand, Gannett unloaded the Detroit News with its left hand, depositing…
Not so funny
Dearborn paper offends immigrants with cartoon choice.
What’s the DIFT?
Community groups are ready to make a deal on controversial plan.
Wards must wait
Reform measure fails to gather enough signatures.
Meet the new boss
“Who is the real Dean Singleton? Is he a mass murderer of newspapers, or is he a man whose hardheaded personal pragmatism has enabled him, in a difficult period for the industry, to preserve many more newspaper jobs than he has eliminated?” That question, posed by the Columbia Journalism Review in a March 2003 profile…
Cluster pluck
“Shuffling portfolios, even in a sophisticated way, won’t alone solve the problems of declining circulation, shrinking advertising market share and eroding reader confidence,” Alan Mutter writes. “But concentrating assets in tight, efficient clusters is one sensible step toward equipping newspapers to be more viable competitors in the age of good, fast and cheap new media.”…
Dirty Diamonds
When a guy reinvents himself countless times over a near-40-year career, it’s interesting to watch what happens next, isn’t it? And Alice Cooper — cinematic lyricist, crushing live performer, owner of giant voice and master of celebrity — is still vital on his 26th record. The title track tips musical hat to Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”…
Underground B-Boy Life
It’s common for emcees from hip hop’s golden era (1986-95) to avoid tags such as “old-school.” Motor City vet Falah ain’t that guy. He embraces his inner Beat Street, and dares you to call him anything but old-school. Vocally, he’s part Kool Keith, part Andre the Giant. His high-pitched delivery and anxious cadences set the…
The Muggs
“[BLA dahmp] You gonna need! [BLA na nuh na na nEH BLA dahmp] You’re gonna need my help I said!” What’s that coming out of the electric mud? Why, it’s Danny Methric’s moustache. The joyful blues-fueled wail of Methric’s electric guitar leads us through the Muggs’ new self-titled LP, and he’s met at every bent…
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before …
If your gross-out factor causes you to gag during episodes of South Park, then The Aristocrats is definitely not for you. But for the rest of us perverts, this documentary is a rare treat; funny, at times, side-splitting, eyes-tearing, breath-defying laugh-out-loud funny. Filmmakers Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette show dozens upon dozens of famous comedians…
Aries rising
The 2004 Presidential election was a revealing commentary about social associations between war and masculinity. The Iraq war became a defining issue for each candidate, prompting analysis of masculine leadership qualities. In the end, the “man’s man” with a wife who neatly fit within a traditional role beat the more refined candidate with the European…
Aprè Vous
With most of the trappings of a classic farce – save for its sluggish, sometimes labored, pace – *Apres Vous* is a light but witty film filled with miscues, mishaps and mirth. The movie stars the incomparable Daniel Auteuil as a waiter who can’t say "no," and finds himself trying to help a suicidal stranger…
Catholic Girls
Like smearing on black eyeliner or cuing up anything by The Cure, reading Colleen Curran’s first novel, Whores on the Hill, will take the reader way back. It is the late ’80s, and three naughty Catholic schoolgirls are beginning sophomore year at Sacred Heart Holy Angels, an all-girls school in the suburbs of Milwaukee. Though…
The Warrior
Director Asif Kapadia’s breakout feature is a mysterious, beautiful and spiritual journey that’s short on dialogue and long in visual symbolism. The tale of a fierce warrior who has a revelation and renounces violence, dialogue and explanation are light; often the expressions on peoples’ faces are meant to tell the story to heartbreaking effect.
Suicide story
“Suicide wasn’t invented for people like this,” JJ says in A Long Way Down, referring to three poor sods who, like him, are prepared to celebrate the new year by chucking themselves off a building. “It was invented for people like Virginia Woolf and Nick Drake. And me,” he continues. “Suicide was supposed to be…
The Dukes of Hazzard
Never have so many people – including Sean William Scott, Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson – worked so hard to be this dull. If you’ve seen the trailers, heard the new version of the theme song, or just read about the casting, then you’ve already seen what you need to see.
Baby Grand
The Greenhornes’ V2 debut seems much longer than it actually is, since its five songs are steeped in real quality. It’s not like there’s one awesome song and then some throwaways — Brendan Benson produced and recorded the sessions for East Grand Blues, and he shapes the Cincinnati trio’s anxious and kicky rock tendencies into…
Dracula’s disciple
Some people are only familiar with the bug-eating Renfield from the various movie versions of Bram Stoker’s Victorian-era horror classic Dracula. Those who get around to reading the original novel may be surprised to find out he is a complicated and enigmatic character. Unlike his cinematic incarnations, Stoker’s Renfield is a man caught up in…
Greektown goes global
The menu was culled from major world cuisines — Asian, Mediterranean, French, South American, Caribbean and more. It’s fusion food, with Mediterranean given the most influence. Entrees include the expected salmon and lobster, steaks and skinless, boneless chicken, as well as king crab legs, braised lamb shank, Alaskan halibut and Asiago-encrusted New York strip with…
