Kid Rock is free of election violations following last year's Senate psych-out run

click to enlarge

• Shutterstock

Turns out you can pretend to run for political office, sell fake campaign merchandise, grab your dick and give a fake speech about welfare abuse, "deadbeat dads," and diss gender-neutral bathrooms and not get slammed with charges for violating candidate registration regulations.

A year after Kid Rock admitted to Howard Stern that his month-long "Kid Rock for Senate" fake-out campaign was an album promotion stunt turned performance art, and, according to him, the "most creative" thing he's ever done, the rap-rocker has officially dodged election violations. The Federal Election Commission (FEC) voted in favor of Kid Rock in a 3-1 vote last week to dismiss claims that Kid Rock's teased Senate run went against campaign finance and registration rules because Kid Rock isn't a person.

"Kid Rock is a stage name imbued with the artistic persona [Robert] Ritchie has worked to cultivate," the commission's official ruling states. "Ritchie states under oath that he had no intention of being a candidate and that “Kid Rock for US Senate” was a slogan, part-and-parcel of his expression as an artist, including his music, staging, merchandising, and advertising."

The statement also explains that despite the fact that Kid Rock bought the URL kidrockforsenate.com which allowed visitors to purchase "Kid Rock for U.S. Senate" merch and created a real voter registration organization that would continue to tease the website, merch, and possible run via his social media accounts, that he did not take "even the most basic steps to become a candidate."

Not mentioned in the statement was Kid Rock's six-show run christening Detroit's Little Caesars Arena amid protest and, according to Metro Times' very detailed attempt to attend all six shows, a whole lot of supporters — many of whom openly pledged their premature vote for Senator Kid Rock.

"We hope he runs for Senate," one woman said while attending Rock's third of six Detroit shows in 2017. "I think people are fed up and taking matters into their own hands." When asked about his frequent use of Confederate flag imagery, she exclaimed that she didn't for a minute think that Kid Rock was a racist. "There's nothing wrong with it. It's America," she said. "Every nationality, every race has dealt with oppression in the history of the world. So don't think you're special. Everyone is oppressed."

The commision concluded that timing played a huge role in their decision, citing Kid Rock's early jump on the general election and the fact that proceeds from his campaign merch did not benefit "exploratory committee (which Ritchie never established) or to a campaign committee (which he also never established), but to help support 501(c)(4) entity’s get-out-the-vote efforts."

Despite a nearly six-page document dedicated to defending FEC's decision, even the commision threw up the proverbial shrug emoji.

"Even assuming that Ritchie’s conduct technically violated FECA, further pursuing this matter would have been an unwise use of Commission resources."

Stay on top of Detroit news and views. Sign up for our weekly issue newsletter delivered each Wednesday.