We’re built tough in Detroit, but sometimes even we get the heebie-jeebies. These are 30 things scare the crap out of people in Detroit.

Just thinking about some these situations might make you scream in terror or clutch your pearls. So if you don’t want your anxiety to immediately spike, please stop reading now.

Going the wrong way and ending up in Canada Oh, shit. Photo courtesy of Ken Lund/Flickr
A dog without chili, mustard, or onions What do you mean you don’t have coneys? Photo courtesy of @thegordinier
Hearing Steve Perry sing “Born and raised in south Detroit.” Oh, you mean Windsor? Photo courtesy of YouTube
Lions going winless this season Again. Photo courtesy of @detroitlionsnfl
The word “soda” It’s pop. Photo courtesy of @faygo Credit: Photo courtesy of @faygo
Hearing a big boom That was a firework…right? Photo courtesy of @monica.manning
The moment of panic when you try to cross four lanes of traffic on I-94 to get on M-10 Skrrt skrrt.
Having to choose between Lafayette Coney and American Coney Island How do you choose?! Photo courtesy of @seanfhamel
Someone saying “pierogies” instead of “pierogi” It’s already plural. Photo courtesy of @just.kristine
Being called Hockeytown Cringe. Photo courtesy of @tamrn1
NOT being called Hockeytown B-but…but we have 11 Stanley Cup championships. Photo courtesy of @stanleycup
Not getting a paçzki on Fat Tuesday “Get in the car. We’re going to Hamtramck.” Photo courtesy of @ms._fobia
Opening day getting canceled because of bad weather Not again! Photo courtesy of @eboni.af
Getting hit by a Bird scooter More like turd scooters, amiright?. Photo courtesy of @ecimmortal
The sun going down earlier “No, God. Please, not another winter.” Photo via Shutterstock.
Detroit cabs “Um, no thanks. I’ll call a Lyft.” Photo courtesy of Shutterstock
Hep A. Yeah, we’re gonna need everyone to wash their hands… Photo via Shutterstock
Below freezing temperatures The world is a cold dead place. Photo via Shutterstock
Anytime Kid Rock opens his mouth Shhh… just stop talking. Photo courtesy of @shutter16magazine
Our neighborhood dispensary closing No, come back! Photo courtesy of Youtube, AmsterMichigan
Our neighborhood dispensary opening, then closing again Stop playing with our emotions. Photo courtesy of @tastebudsofficial313
Seeing a Joumana Kayrouz billboard If we say anymore we’ll probably get sued. Photo courtesy of @thatsnotwurstthatsschinken
Potholes the size of craters You might get whiplash. Photo courtesy of @potholesofdetroit
Gentrification Too late. Photo courtesy of @ggirl
Gameday traffic No thanks, we’ll stay home. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.
Bars that don’t serve Oberon in the summer “What do you mean you don’t have Oberon?!” Photo courtesy of @nikkingofcraft
The walls on either side of UFO factory New Detroit has landed…and we’re not thrilled about it. Photo courtesy of Jerilyn Jordan.
Effective regional public transit systems God forbid. Photo courtesy of @motorcityblazer
Paying for an Amazon Prime subscription only to have your packages stolen Fate is a cruel mistress. Photo courtesy of @sadiebethh
The Lodge flooding This is as good of place to die as any, I suppose. Photo courtesy of @simplii_lo

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