WeÂ’re all feeling a little lost these days. Why not pump up the fall vibes for what is sure to be an a-maze-ing season of… uh, well, Halloween is canceled, so that sucks. Might as well get lost with purpose at these Detroit-area corn mazes and, hell, get into the basic bitch fall spirit with a pumpkin patch, where you can take all the time in the world selecting the perfectly plump pumpkin there is so you can take it home and carve the words “BIDEN 2020” or “ITMFA” or “BLM,” because what else is there, yÂ’all? Oh, and keep in mind a lot of these spots are enforcing masks when in specified areas,  as well as social distancing, and timed tickets to keep things safe. 

LaVoy Pumpkin Farm 3115 W. Rauch Rd., Temperance; 419-261-9143; lavoypumpkinfarm.weebly.com Pumpkins are the name of the game for this third-generation family farm that, like, literally specializes in plump pumps. For more than 50 years, LaVoy Pumpkin Farm has been the must-shop stop for pumpkins, gourds, squash, and other festive fall-time decor. Photo via Lavoy Pumpkin Farm
Farmer J’s World Record Corn Maze 16405 Pherdun Rd., Dundee; 734-717-2376; cornmazefun.net This one is for the troops, y’all. No, really. This Dundee-based maze broke two Guinness World Records in 2010 for world’s longest corn maze path and world’s biggest, coming in at 10.5 miles. This year’s intricate design reads “Thanks to those who serve” complete with a soldier and fighter jet. Photo via World Record Corn Maze/Facebook
Blake’s Orchard & Cider Mill 17985 Armada Center Rd., Armada; 586-784-5343; blakefarms.com Blake’s Orchard & Cider Mill is home to an 800-acre working farm and more than 40 different apple varieties. The farm and orchard is home to a cider mill tasting room, sunflower picking, pumpkin picking, and a hard cider facility. Oh, and, not to brag, but they do have something called a Funland where, you know, fun things happen. As part of Funland’s offerings, Blake’s has jumping pillows, a sports zone, straw mountain, inflatable axe throwing, and two mazes: a hay bale maze and a corn maze. Photo via Blake’s Orchard & Cider Mill/Facebook
Blast Corn Maze 6175 Daly Rd., Dexter; 734-845-7127; blastcornmaze.com Blast off into autumn and hopefully find your way out, because Blast Corn Maze in Dexter is not messing around, with 3.5 miles of trails within the maze with three exits, short, medium, and full-length. This year’s design features none other than the bloodsucker himself, Dracula. Not into mazes? Just pick a pumpkin, ya dingus. Photo via The Blast Corn Maze/Facebook
Wiard’s Orchards & Country Fair 5565 Merritt, Ypsilanti; 734-482-7744; wiards.com Let’s get Wiard, baby. Established in 1837, Wiard’s Orchards & Country fair has a lot going on. Sure, there’s doughnuts, U-pick apples, a pumpkin patch, and fresh cider, but they also have an entire entertainment park with a variety of activities, including haunted attractions, and a delightfully corny corn maze. Photo via Wiard’s Orchards & Country Fair/Facebook
Spicer Orchards 10411 Clyde, Fenton; 810-632-7692; spicerorchards.com The Spicer Orchard offers train rides, a winery, and, drum roll, please, a pick your own pumpkin patch and a friggin’ big ol’ corn maze. Photo via Spicer Orchards/Facebook
Coleman’s Corn Mazes 12758 Jordan Rd., Saline; 734-429-1212; colemanscornmazes.com Saline, Saline, Saline, Sa-line, please don’t get lost in the mazes. Colman’s Corn Mazes — that’s right, mazes, plural — are professionally designed, which means it’s gonna be hella hard to find your way out of its three mazes, with five miles of totally confusing trails. Oh, and there’s a mystery to be solved, too, so good luck, suckers. Photo via Colman’s Corn Mazes
Obstbaum Orchards & Cider Mill 9252 Currie Rd., Salem; 248-468-9180; obstbaum.com The pumpkins are popping at family-operated Obstbaum Orchards and Cider Mill in Salem, which has been serving the community for 40 years. They’ve got hayrides, treats, and apples, too. Photo via Obstbaum Orchards & Cider Mill/Facebook
Erie Orchards & Cider Mill 1235 Erie Rd., Erie; 734-848-4518; erieorchards.com Erie Orchards offers more than 70 acres with, like, 15,000 apples, as well as fresh blueberries and peaches. They’ve got cider, doughnuts, wagon rides, and farm animals, but screw that noise. The orchard also has pumpkins and a corn maze. Sorry about what we said earlier, that stuff is all actually super cool. Photo via Erie Orchards & Cider Mill/Facebook
CornFun Corn Maze Adventure Park and Pumpkin Patch 9391 Lindsey Rd., Casco; 586-365-9401; cornfun.com For 15 years, CornFun Corn Maze Adventure Park and Pumpkin Patch has celebrated fall in the most fall-friendly way possible: with 13 acres of corn mazes, U-pick pumpkin patches, and trails. The corn mazes, which are deemed challenging, are available for daytime and nighttime mazin’. One of their other attractions, the sunflower patch, is also available with the price of admission when in bloom. Photo via Vimeo
Stony Creek Orchard & Cider Mill 2961 W. 32 Mile Rd., Romeo; 586-752-2453; stonycreekorchard.com You want apples? They’ve got apples! You want caramel apples? Oh, baby, they got those, too. You want to pick the perfect pumpkin? You can do that at Stony Creek Orchard & Cider Mill. Photo via Stony Creek Orchard & Cider Mill/Facebook
Gull Meadow Farms 8544 Gull Rd., Richland; 269-629-4214; gullmeadowfarms.com The multi-attraction Gull Meadow Farms offers apple picking, a petting zoo, and their claim to fame, a six-acre corn maze. Each year, Gull Meadow picks a new theme, like, 2006’s Gerald Ford portrait and, in 2019, an ode to country star Luke Bryan. This year, they’ve chosen to highlight the importance of “Stronger Together,” which features six stick figures arm-in-arm. The farm ensures the statement is not a political one but was selected to offer a moment of pause before reacting to other people’s differences, whether it is online or in person. This year’s maze will only be available five nights, Oct. 16, 17, 23, 24, and 30. Photo courtesy of Gull Meadow Farms
Bonadeo Farms 1215 White Lake Rd., Highland Twp.; 248-787-4553; bonadeofarms.com RIP corn maze. Farewell, haunted house. Bonadeo farms won’t let that stop them from offering cider, doughnuts, and a U-pick pumpkin patch. Photo via Bonadeo Farm/Facebook
Robinette’s Apple Haus and Winery 3142 Four Mile Rd., Grand Rapids; 616-361-7180; robinettes.com Offering 6.5 acres of pure corn maze confusery is this historic Grand Rapids orchard, Robinette’s Apple Haus and Winery. In addition to apples, wine, a bakery, and petting zoo, Robinette’s has a corn maze. This year’s is in tribute to the late Jim and Bethal Robinette, both of whom died this summer and who turned the family farm into a farm market open to the public in the 1970s. facebook.com/Robinettes.com
DeBuck’s Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch 50240 Martz Rd., Belleville; 734-260-0334 debuckscornmaze.com You can’t spell family fun without the word “fun.” OK — we didn’t exactly do that right, but DeBuck’s Corn Maze in Belleville is the epitome of family-friendly fun with three corn mazes and a 25-acre pumpkin patch. Photo via DeBuck’s Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch/Facebook
Kapnick Orchards 4245 Rogers Hwy., Britton; 517-423-7419; stonycreekorchard.com Opened in 1958, Kapnick Orchards has its own product line, bakery, and cider mill. And for all you pumpkin freaks out there, of which we know there are many, you can pick your own. Not into pumps? You can pick apples, too, and sweet cherries, blueberries, peaches, tart cherries, and peaches, when in season. Photo via Kapnick Orchards/Facebook
Pahl’s Pumpkin Patch 11168 M-37, Buckley; 231-269-4400; pahlspumpkinpatch.com Keeping it simple — and simply orange — is Pahl’s Pumpkin Patch, which offers a U-pick patch for all your pumpkin needs, as well as a corn maze, doughnuts, cider, and gourds. facebook.com/Pahls-Pumpkin-Patch
Kackleberry Farms 6421 N. Stoney Creek Rd., Monroe; 734-240-0825; kackleberryfarm.com This year’s maze at Monroe’s Kackleberry Farms is not a game — it’s based on games. An ode to Mario, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man, Kackleberry Farms is giving us life — or lives, if you’re lucky — with their 12-acre 2020 maze, which can be completed at night with flashlights and some help from the farm’s Corn Cops. If you want to steer clear of the maize patrol, the farm offers hayrides, bonfires, games, and Nana’s Pumpkin Patch, where you can pluck your favorite pump. Photo via Farmer Charley’s Kackleberry Farms/Facebook
Big Red Apple Orchard 4900 W. 32 Mile Rd., Washington Twp.; 586-752-7888; facebook.com/bigredorchard Bummer, dude. Some of this Washington Township-based orchard’s activities are not available this year, like the petting zoo, straw mountain, and the family fun area, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pick your own fresh apples and pumpkins. Photo via Big Red Apple Orchard/Facebook
Meckley’s Flavor Fruit Farm 11025 S. Jackson Rd., Somerset; 517-688-3455; flavorfruitfarm.com With Meckley’s it’s about the Flavor Fruit Farm. Oh, and frills. Meckley is fully-loaded with frills: pizza, frozen cider, and fall fan favorites like a pumpkin patch and a winding two-mile corn maze. Photo via Flavor Fruit Farm/Facebook

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