13 of the creepiest pieces of music ever recorded, ever

Oct 21, 2015 at 12:12 am
Creepy, scary sounds. Music that makes you turn the lights back on.

I wanted to avoid people who were trying too hard, since it's just 13 things here. No metal, no black metal, no cookie monster metal, no Christian pop, no stoner metal, no rap-metal, no '90s fake-industrial — or earlier actual industrial music either. No Merzbow or Whitehose or Burzum or Swans or Coil or NWW or Diamanda Galas — much as I like a lot of those things.

No Misfits, of course, because they just made bubblegum pop music. They probably couldn't scare their own cats.

Creepy! But no Steely Dan, because their fans are the worst and I still get hate mail from people who love Creed, so I don't need rich old stoners with big hi-fis flipping out on me because they think I maligned their scummy, detestable studio gods of greasy cocaine music that should always come packaged as many fine leather-bound volumes, if it must be released at all. I didn't want to fill it up with soundtracks from scary movies, but the two on here are un-mess-with-able. 

And no Throbbing Gristle, because I feel silly reducing their groundbreaking brilliance to mere "creepiness." I don't know why people find Suicide's "Frankie Teardrop" so unsettling; I just think it's beautiful, and the three times I saw them do it live it was just really emotional but not scary.

Also, I didn't include the "Macarena," for fear it would overshadow all else on the list. We already went through that, as a nation.

Anyway, here is the list. I'm sure your favorite creepy-crawlies are not on here because it's entirely subjective, and weird. And it's *my* list, not yours. Have a list? Well then let's see it now, OK? Send it along please.