Ahh yes, Valentine’s Day.

The Hallmark holiday that smitten couples love to love – and bitter singles love to hate. Regardless of your relationship status this Valentine’s Day, you can take part in a little commercialized holiday fun by sending your longtime lover or newly swiped sweetie a Detroit-themed Valentine. Because what else could accurately define your love than the saccharine sentiment from Sterling Heights’ newly erected Golden Butthole?

You’re welcome.

 

Background images courtesy of Shutterstock.

From Joumana Kayrouz: Valentine, I promise that our love is no accident.
From the Church of Scientology: Roses are red, violets are blue, my love for you could rival the strength of Xenu.
From Quicken Loans: Don’t worry, Valentine, my love is not on loan – but it is high interest.
From Lafayette and American Coney Islands: Why pick one wiener when you could have two, Valentine?
From the People Mover: Don’t worry, Valentine. What I lack in length I make up for in personality.
From the Joe Louis Fist: No need to clench up, Valentine. My love is true.
From an Illitch-owned parking lot: I have space in my heart for you, Valentine.
From Robocop: Come quietly, Valentine. Or there will be…trouble.
From the Qline: Hop on, Valentine. I promise this relationship won’t go too fast.
From potholes, everywhere: Hold on tight to me, Valentine, you’re in for a bumpy ride.
From the Sterling Heights “Golden Butthole” statue Pucker up, Valentine.

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