We know that reading from an actual book isn’t exactly en vogue, but sometimes we just feel a little nostalgic and want to crack open a hardcover. When that feeling strikes, there’s no better place to go than John K. King Used & Rare books, which is one of the world’s largest used book retailers.

With over a million books to choose from, we went digging to see what weird books we could discover.

Who Moved My Soap? The CEO’s Guide to Surviving in Prison Andy Borowitz Yes, this is a real book.
I Was A Teen-Age Dwarf Max Shulman We’ve all been there before amirite? This old-school collection of stories regarding the vertically challenged protagonists love life is sure to make the reader feel…something.
The Pleasing Punishment that Women Bear: Shakespeare on Sex Roland I. Swanson Preach, sister.
Diseases Just Don’t Happen “Okay, Elaine. Now just reach up to grab your glasses like you’ve got really bad news… but like, try and look cute too.”
Sex in Nature Chris Catton and James Gray Before you get any ideas, this is strictly regarding sex between animals of the same species (we hope).
The Library of Sexual Health: Chlamydia Amy Breguet Every growing teens favorite subject: STDs. Learn how to not get it while you’re getting it.
Maybe He’s Just A Jerk Carol Rosen This is sure to be a relatable read for any women whose dated a grade A dickhead.
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Impeachment of the President Steven D. Strauss and Spencer Strauss We expect sales of this one to skyrocket.
Weird in a World That’s Not Jennifer Romolini …or you could just work at Metro Times.
Study Skills for Life L. Ron Hubbard The world is filled with study skill books, but how many of them can claim to have been written by the world’s foremost cult leader inspirational religious icon.
Politics, Death, and the Devil Harvey Goldman This book should acutally be titled Things You Don’t Bring Up on Thanksgiving.
Is Your Water Safe to Drink? Raymond Gabler Is the sky red? The answer is no. Nothing is safe.
Countdown to Cataclysm Violent Weather Predictions 2000-2001 Jennifer Lawson Let’s be honest, laughing at incorrect apocalypse predictions will never not be funny, and the turn of the century was a certified clown show for it.
Report 2001: A Man’s Guide to Women Ken Winston Caine We’re sure this aged well.
Hangmen of England Brian Bailey If you’ve ever been hung up feeling that executioners didn’t get enough love, don’t lose your head, because this book has you covered.
Shakespeare and Scandinavia Gunnar Sorelius Drink this in…someone went to college specifically to be able to write a book on this subject.
Sex and God Linda Hurcombe So like, should we drink ayahuasca before or after we read this book?
Laodicea: The Church That Doesn’t Know Thomas A. Davis Could you be anymore vague, Mr. Davis?
Faith Under Fire: Standing Strong When Satan Attacks Steven J. Lawson That darn Satan always seems to pop up when you least expect it. Fortunately, Steven J. Lawson penned the 101 on how to deal with that dastardly devil.
Through Wooden Eyes Jan Bussell Puppets aren’t creepy in the slightest, no sir. It’s not peering into the depths of our soul or anything..
Celebrity Meltdowns Pop-Up Book Now you can forever memorialize a piece of pop-culture history with this cover story about Wacko Jacko
Silver Screen In today’s society, this cover is an absolute minefield.
Censored 2008: The Top 25 Censored Stories of 2006-07 Peter Phillips and Andrew Roth ‘Twas a more simple time.
Romeo y Julieta Merce Lopez Why read about star-crossed lovers when you could just look at teenagers with a death wish instead?
The Flying Saucer Reader Jay David This is just what we’ve been looking for, to be honest.
Women’s Home Remedies Michelle Harrison, M.D. and John H. Renner, M.D. Did you know that mayo is usable as a hair moisturizer? You would if you cracked this book open.
American Space Law: International and Domestic Nathan C. Goldman Yeah, you think it’s funny now but just wait until Trump rolls out Space Force.
Astounding Averages Dean D. Dauphinais and Kathleen D. Droste Math is rarely fun, but this collection of factorial factoids is anything but average.
Pre-Industrial Societies Patricia Crone I’m sure your history class covered this topic, but I doubt they had anything to say about the dudes using an old man like a tandem bike.
Superman: Serial to Cereal Gary Grossman Get it?! Serial to CEREAL?! Alright, alright we’ll show ourselves out.

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