Friday, January 29, 2016

Strip club hosts "Dwarf Toss" event

Posted By on Fri, Jan 29, 2016 at 11:56 AM


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WHO RAISED YOU?


That's the first thing that comes to mind when we think about the fact that people might actually attend something called a "Dwarf Toss" at a strip club. Don't get us wrong, strip clubs are great. Tossing people against a wall because you get off on ridicule, on the other hand, is not. 

You wanna throw something against a wall? Here's a few things that are totally great for that: 

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1.) Those slimy hand things they sell in quarter machines. You can get twelve of those things for $5.75 on Amazon, which is way less that you'll probably spend at a strip club. 
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2.) A tennis ball. It's actually really therapeutic and it makes that cool noise that tennis balls make. You know the noise. 

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3.) Potato salad. Now we're not recommending you do this unless you're fine with the clean-up, but it's got the perfect consistency to stick for a minute and then slide down. If you have friends, have a potato salad race. 

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4.) Bad books. When you find a book you hate, throw it against a wall. We do it all the time in our office and can vouch for its amusement and satisfaction. 
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5.) Underwear. It runs a relatively low risk of damaging anything and hey, why not?

And if you're someone that thinks the Dwarf Toss event sounds like a great night out, we'd ask that you immediately throw yourself against a wall, you piece of shit. 




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