See our Best of Detroit 2020 winners.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Gawker can suck it

Posted By on Thu, Dec 12, 2013 at 12:24 PM

Gawker? Fuck those guys!

In the past, we’ve enjoyed reading Gawker because of its penchant for taking the piss out of self-important figures. These jaded news-watchers have usually trained their sights on celebrities, moguls and other gasbags, with satisfactory results.

But then we looked at a piece about Detroit in Gawker this week and thought, “That’s some seriously stupid bullshit right there.”

The “article” in question was the content of a “campfire” chat between various bloggers about what was to be done about Detroit. And it shows that the folks who write for Gawker shouldn’t comment on stuff they obviously don’t know or really care about.

That’s because the “article,” which the editors probably thought was a snarky, irreverent, laugh-a-minute chat that would stand on its own as a Gawker post, was a piece of offensive, self-important horseshit. Anybody who knows humor knows that, to be really funny, you only pick on big people, never little ones.

But that news hasn’t been passed on to the people at Gawker. They exhibit a passing familiarity with the issues facing Detroit, all while flaming one another and spitballing ideas any Detroiter would find offensive.

And watching these well-fed coastal bloggers joking about an underclass they obviously don’t know and haven’t reported on makes us want to puke with rage.

Have a look at this piece of indulgent writing, if you can stand it. They think they’re so funny. They think they’re so cute. They don’t really need knowledge or love of Detroit to write. They, after all, are the real celebrities, like it’s the office at TMZ, and they’re the real stars. Detroit is just a punch line, a construct they can use to act out their snarky little office theater.

It seems that, once upon a time, a reporter or writer used to report on the world. If they wanted a story, they had to chase somebody around a block, or sit in a car watching a window and drinking shitty coffee. You see, that’s not journalism anymore. Journalism is sitting in your fucking pajamas in an expensive loft apartment watching TV and running a chat log with other people watching TV in their loft apartments.

After reading this crap, don’t you wish these fuckers could be kidnapped, blindfolded and dropped off in a tuxedo at the corner of Dexter and Richton at 2 a.m.? It’s enough to make you want to break Bobby Ferguson out of the federal pen just so he can go give these self-absorbed twits a Detroit-style pistol-whipping. Fuck these guys!

Should you choose to peruse this vile chat, note how the comments section is enormously more interesting than the actual “discussion” between the Gawkerites.


We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Detroit Metro Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Detroit and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Detroit's true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

November 25, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In Detroit

© 2020 Detroit Metro Times - Contact Us

Website powered by Foundation