Help Us Keep Reporting. Donate to Detroit Metro Times.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tooth Fairy

The sum total of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson stuffed into a tiny pink tutu

Posted By on Wed, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM

Processed by a half dozen screenwriters, and helmed by the maestro behind the last two Santa Clause movies, The Tooth Fairy is the latest shoddy product to roll off the fantasy comedy matinee assembly line. The elaborate, high-concept premise is a flimsy excuse to see the buff lead squeezed into a tiny pink tutu, and forced into one embarrassing scenario after another, to the presumed delight of squealing kiddies in the middle of a monster-sized, soda-induced sugar high. 

Dwayne (don't call him "Rock") Johnson stars as faded hockey star Derek Thompson, now reduced to slogging it out thug-like in the minor leagues, where he's nicknamed "Tooth Fairy" for his frequent knockouts of opposing players. Worse, he has been charged with babysitting a brash Gretzky-like upstart (skateboarder Ryan Sheckler) who's a snot-nosed punk. 

Off ice, Johnson's all anti-chemistry with girlfriend Carly — played by the harbinger of nothing good, Ashley Judd. Derek really wins when he tells Carly's adorable 6-year-old that there's no tooth fairy, leading to a summons to fairy land, and a sentence of community service for "disseminating disbelief." What follows is a blur of sight gags and bad puns covered in a haze of pixie dust and desperate flailing by all involved. 

You might wonder why Julie Andrews appears in this drek-fest, right until Billy Crystal's grinning mug pops on screen. Crystal's shtick is so tired that it's actually a relief to see a Seth Macfarlane cameo.  

When Johnson isn't flitting about zapping things with his magic wand, he's engaged in some Mighty Ducks-quality hockey action, complete with bad play-by-play, though the biggest fantasy is ESPN covering a minor league hockey game. The fictional team is, you'll note, the Lansing Ice Wolves, though the setting looks like Vancouver.

Corey Hall writes about film for Metro Times. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.

Tags:

Detroit Metro Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Detroit and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Detroit's true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

May 27, 2020

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In Detroit

© 2020 Detroit Metro Times - Contact Us

Website powered by Foundation