Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Morons at the movies.

Posted By on Wed, Feb 11, 2009 at 11:29 AM

The president has been pushing for more civility lately, but it can't come soon enough to the multiplex. Last night I attended an advance screening for a hard R rated slasher movie, one held at a later time of night than usual. Exactly the sort of event where you wouldn't expect to hear the cries of an infant, but there were at least two in the theater. And strangely enough, the babies did what babies do in dark places with scary noises, they cried, through the whole two hour movie. While horror movies are not known for audience decorum, and there was plenty of screaming, hooting and talking back at the screen "Don't go in there!" "Oh My God you idiot he's behind you!!", etc. No biggie, when adults do it, but a child can't help them selves, because kids under five don't belong in a freaking movie theater!

To make matters worse, when the lights came up we spotted several kids under 13 in attendance, including two cute young girls around ten, who just watched roughly 14 murders involving knives, axes, arrows through the head, a wood chipper, a bear trap, and several topless women getting diced into cat food sized chunks.

An annoyed colleague chased down this family and asked the mother why in hell she brought kids to a flick like this, and her answer was "If only I'd known". Right. Because there's no possible way to know that a twenty eight year old film series about a blade wielding mass murderer, would be, you know, violent or something.

So who's to blame?

Well mostly the classless, dim witted twits who think that bodily fluid exchange qualifies them for parenthood. The promotion company is tasked with getting a good turnout, and can't really control who shows up or gets in, but they should at least include a disclaimer on the passes, which will of course be ignored. But if you ask me, the studios, the theater chains and the MPAA, are all guilty, for failing to create or support in any way a true rating that works for adults. NC-17 is seen as the kiss of death, because they just can't dream of giving up a nickel to the lucrative teenage crowds they peddle gore, slime and choas to.

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