Party on!

When an invitation to something called “Detroit Kiss and Make-Up” arrived at our offices last week, News Hits first thought we were being asked to attend an orgy. The accompanying photo explains why. (Make sure to take your eyes off that cleavage long enough to notice that the man is reclining on a bearskin rug.) And we were thinking, “Yeah, finally we’re asked to something worth attending.” Then we looked at the flip side of the invite, and realized that the event being held Thanksgiving night at the downtown club Elysium was connected to Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

That’s when we knew for sure we were being invited to an orgy.

Just kidding, big guy. We know you’re a family man through and through. And all that club-hopping, womanizing stuff is just vicious rumor-mongering on the part of a news media that only wanted to sully the legend that is Kwame Kilpatrick.

“Due to political fall out [sic],” the card announced, “we now unite for one team, team Detroit!”

The invitation-only event, attended by about 700 people, was hosted by a list of folks that included the mayor’s sister, Ayanna Kilpatrick, local fashion entrepreneur Rufus Bartell and designer Maurice Malone, and encouraged folks to “celebrate our unity with good drinks and smart conversation.”

Ladies were encouraged to wear heels, and men to sport blazers.

Despite all promises to the contrary, it seems the Kilpatrick camp hasn’t changed its tune. By our reckoning, nightclub parties with suggestive invitations are just the kind of thing hizonner has claimed he’s shed along with his less mature past behavior.

Sadly, your faithful News Hitters weren’t able to make it to Kiss and Make-Up. By 9 p.m. Thanksgiving night, we’d succumbed to the annual tryptophan coma. Besides that, the male News Hitters were well-stocked with high heels, but didn’t have a decent blazer between us, and the gals on our crew had the exact opposite problem. But you can rest assured that the next time this kind of invitation crosses our desks, we’ll get our sartorial house in order and be there, notebooks in hand.

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