Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

Dec 5, 2007 at 12:00 am

Jeffrey Morgan, men have named you Media Blackout #148!

CycloneBrutal Destruction (MVD Audio) :: Not since Raw Power has there been a more apt album title. If you thought that Jean-Claude Van Damme was the only notable export that Brussels has given the world, then you've obviously never heard this band of Belgian brain bashers who make Krokus sound like the Carpenters.

PestilenceSpheres (MVD Audio) :: Now here's something you don't hear every day: prog-fusion death metal powered by enough guitar synthesizers to sink a horse.

Nat King ColeThe Spanish Remixes (MVD Audio) :: Nat King Cole was a merry old soul, but he never envisioned a brother remixing 12 of his foreign-language sides like "Yo Vendo Unos Ojos Negros" into one seduction-length session of sexy samba songs.

FloodgatePenalty (MVD Audio) :: When I see a front cover sticker that says an album is "one of the most valuable releases in the entire history of doom-sludge stoner rock," I open my wallet as wide as a pole perchin' Saturday night cleavage heaver. So you can take it from me that this one ranks right up there with heavy crungemakers like May Blitz, Kyuss and the Obsessed.

ManDiamonds & Coal (MVD Audio) :: This actually is a really great pop album, but I'd recommend any record with liner notes that read: "Luckily I have some speed left from a bag that Lemmy game me in 1977 so I managed to stay awake for another three weeks."

SIZZLING PLATTERS OF THE WEEK: BulldozerThe Day Of Wrath, The Final Separation, IX, Neurodeliri (MVD Audio) :: Speaking of which, it's funny how records that once sounded freakishly fast in the '80s now sound quite normal—not that normal is a word you'd ever apply to this pioneering thrasho band. If you never heard these metal mungsters the first time around, these four limited edition gold disc remasters of their entire studio catalog will show you why Bulldozer had the well-earned reputation of starting out as Italy's answer to Motörhead before they evolved into something altogether…different.

It's been real!