Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout

Apr 25, 2007 at 12:00 am
"Hey Media Sellout! Why didnt u mention Wrestlemana in yor last two columns? What ahhepoend did the WWE take u off there payroll??? Who cares what u think about the Diodes whoever they are ROFL!!!! or did they pay u more to write about them insetad u crook??"


That dippy epistle is just a small sampling of the anonymous hate mail I received after MB113 hit the streets. Now before I address the matter of my supposedly selling out to corporate America, I’d like to explain STOP PRESS — FLASH — We interrupt this column to bring you the following special announcement!


Hello friends, this is Jeffrey Morgan with a vital message of great importance to us all. Thanks to Don Imus, society has finally decided to do the right thing and hold rap "music" fully accountable for the socially irresponsible role it plays in the exploitation and degradation of women.


This much needed and long overdue cleansing of hip-hop is a good start, but we can’t stop there so long as other forms of misogynist music insist on advocating murderous violence against women:


Elvis Presley — "Baby, Let’s Play House" (RCA) :: "I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man."


Neil Young — "Down By The River" (Reprise) :: "Down by the river, I shot my baby. Dead. Oooh, shot her dead."


Jimi Hendrix — "Hey Joe" (Reprise) :: "I’m going down to shoot my old lady. Yes I did, I shot her! Shoot her one more time for me!"


Cher — "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" (Imperial) :: "Bang bang, you shot me down."


Robert Johnson — "32-20 Blues" (Vocalion) :: "Take my 32-20, now, and cut her half in two."


Nancy Sinatra — "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" (Reprise) :: "Bang bang, I hit the ground."


Johnny Cash — "Delia’s Gone" (American) :: "First time I shot her, I shot her in the side. Hard to watch her suffer, but with the second shot she died."


The Beatles — "Maxwell’s Silver Hammer" (Apple) :: "Bang bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer came down upon her head. Bang bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer made sure she was dead."


After we fumigate rap, we’ll sterilize the rest of this filth.