10 Internet plagues we want to die in 2014

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10) Think pieces about Miley Cyrus. And think pieces about think pieces about Miley Cyrus. She's not worth a fraction of the ink bloggers have spent while analyzing and overanalyzing the implications of the cultural apropriation of twerking. ;p

9) The word "facepalm." You'd think everyone on the Internet was sitting alone at their computer, smacking their own face every time they click on a link. See also: the overuse of SMH (shaking my head) and even better, SMDH (shaking my damn head).

8) The overuse of the word "problematic." Everything is "problematic." Try a more descriptive word.

7) Overuse of #hashtags. Somewhere along the way everyone decided that every damn tweet had to end with an ironic hashtag. Please, Twitter, we implore you... stop. #itstartedoffasajoke #thatjokeisntfunnyanymore #itmakesyousoundstupid

6) Talking like a 7th grader: phrases like "butthurt," "cool story, bro," "all the feels," and using "because" as a preposition. Because stupid.

5) Upworthy-style headlines. They're Everywhere, And When You Click Here To Find Out Why, You Just Might Cry.

4) The ever-shrinking adjective. It doesn't make you sound adorbs. It sounds totes ridic.

3) The overuse of the word "foodie." We get it, "gourmet," "gastronaut," or "gourmand" sound too hoity-toity. But "foodie" is overly cute, and what does it even really mean, anyway? That you just like to eat food?

2) Instagramming your food. Instagramming your food doesn't make you a foodie. We ordered a pizza from Domino's and we shit you not, the box featured instructions on how to properly Instagram and tag your pizza. We get it if you want to show off a beautiful romantic meal you made or something, but... just put your damn phone away and eat your pizza like a normal person, OK?

1) Writing. Like. This. Is. The. Most. Annoying. Cliché. Ever.

About The Author

Lee DeVito

Leyland "Lee" DeVito grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, where he read Metro Times religiously due to teenaged-induced boredom. He became a contributing writer for Metro Times in 2009, and Editor in Chief in 2016. In addition to writing, he also supplies occasional illustrations. His writing has been published...
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