Reviewing Parmalee’s Feels Like Carolina

Urgghh. I just sicked up in my mouth a little. This album, from North Carolina family band Parmalee, is so bad, so fucking abysmal, that it’s impossible to stomach. This is everything that’s wrong with contemporary country music, the sort of shit that fills up entire radio stations. These saps claim to be influenced by Bob Seger, but there’s nothing to suggest that Parmelee (sounds like cheese, and is) have any genuine feelings for the songs that they perform. Think the Rembrandts (famous for the theme from Friends), the Mavericks at their “Dance the Night Away” worst, and a dab of Creed-like radio rock. This is stylized, bullshit pseudo-country for people who don’t really like music but want to hear something basically related to beer-drinkin’ and fuckin’ in a barn when the lights go down and the girls get-a-little-closer. It’s pollution. Stay the fuck away.