Only God Knows Why

Nov 28, 2006 at 4:21 pm
There's no way to report on this shit rationally, and that's not my job, anyway. So instead I'll poke fun.-JTL

DETROIT--With the announcement this past weekend of her divorce from area Coors Light enthusiast Kid Rock, Pamela Anderson has reportedly bequeathed her left boob to the City of Detroit. “I want to leave something behind,” she called to reporters on her way out of town. City officials were excited about the gift, announcing plans Tuesday morning to mount the so-called “Motor Titty” on a dais above Jefferson Ave., adjacent to Detroit’s iconic Joe Louis fist, which now includes an outstretched index finger. “That thing’s as fake as her marriage to the Kid,” an unnamed city council source said of the boob. “Might as well grab it while we can, and squeeze out some tourism money.”

As for news that Rock was seen canoodling with Eminem's ex-wife-ex Kim Mathers at an area nightspot, the Kid's camp was quiet. "They're just friends," clucked a close friend and insider.