Here's Kid Rock's 'Senate speech'

Sep 13, 2017 at 8:37 am
Is Kid Rock really running for Senate? We still don't know. Much like the way in which he blends the genres of rap and rock, Robert Ritchie seems to like to have it both ways.

One the one hand, he's selling "Kid Rock for U.S. Senate" lawn signs on his website (They're currently sold out.) On the other hand, he could be fined for violating campaign finance laws. (His official response to the allegations is that they are "fake news," that he has "still not officially announced my candidacy," and "fuck you.")

On Tuesday, the rapper and rocker performed the first of a string of six dates at Detroit's new Little Caesars Arena. Previously, he teased that he could make a "major announcement" with "exclusive insight" about his campaign at the show. But no such announcement came.

Instead, Rock gave the same "stump speech" that he debuted at a recent show in Grand Rapids earlier this month. Toward the beginning of his set, after being introduced as "the next Senator of the great state of Michigan," Rock took to a podium as "Hail to the Chief" played. He then gave his rhyming stump speech that, while loaded with buzzwords, ultimately falls short on revealing any sort of actual politics — or even to confirm if he is serious about running for Senate.

Listen to the speech below. It is also transcribed.


What's going on in the world today? It seems the government wants to give everyone health insurance, but wants us all to pay.

And to be very frank, I really don't have a problem with that, since God has blessed me and made my pockets fat.

But a redistribution of wealth seems more like their plan. And I don't believe you should save, sacrifice, do things by the book, and then have to take care of some deadbeat, milking the system, lazy ass motherfucking man.

Now, the issue of struggling single parents is an issue close to my heart. But read my lips: We should not reward those who can't even take care of themselves but keep having kid after fucking kid.

Of course, we should help them out. I don't want to stand here and sound like a jerk. But let's help ’em out with child care, job training and find them a fucking place to work.

And you deadbeat dads, who refuse to be a man, who refuse to be there for your sons, to raise them up to be good men? You no-good derelict sperm donor wannabes? I say lock all you assholes up and throw away the fucking keys.

And if you wanna take a knee, or sit during our "Star-Spangled Banner," call me a racist, because I'm not PC, and think you have to remind me that black lives matter.

Nazis. Fucking bigots. And now again the KKK? I say fuck all you racists. Stay the hell away.

And why these days, is everything sooooo gay? Gay rights, transgender this and that. I say let gay folks get married if they want, and I'm not even close to a death trap.

But things shouldn't be this complicated and, no, you don't get to choose. Because whatever you have between your legs should determine the bathroom that you use.

It's no secret we're violent, and we all should take some blame. We should be ashamed, because we all seem scared to call Him by His name.

So please, almighty Jesus, if you're looking down tonight, please guide us with your wisdom, and give us strength to fight. To fight the tyrant evils, that lurk here and abroad, and remind us all we are still just one nation under God.

And I do believe it to be self evident, that we're all created equal. I said it once, I'll scream it again: I love black people. And I love white people, too. But neither as much as I love red, white and blue.

If Kid Rock for Senate has got some folks in disarray, wait 'til they hear Kid Rock for President of the U.S.A.

Wouldn't that be a sight to see? Kid Rock in Washington, D.C.? Standing on the desk of the Oval Office like a G. Holdin' my dick ready to address the whole country.

We'll look 'em straight in the eyes. The eyes of the nation, live on TV. And tell 'em you never met a motherfucker quite like me.