Head Cheese

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When he's not making, um, "beautiful music," with songbird girlfriend Loretta Lucas, or handling his day job as a plumber, the SSM/Hentchmen's storied John Szymanski is a prominent cog in the city's rock 'n' roll machine. Here's his abridged, monomaniacal version of the History of Hen(t)ch.

5. Henchwoman: Queenie, the Joker's henchman from the Batman comic strip in the '40s, was later played by super cute Nancy Kovack, who was appropriately born in Flint!

4. Hardly Hench: Heinrich Himmler, Hitler's henchman, hindered humanity heinously. Then he died. Cyanide.

3. Hollywood Hench: Wing Fat's henchman, who terrifically retrieves the suitcase thrown overboard by Mr. Fat himself in Woody Allen's, What's Up Tiger Lily? Shan't be forgotten easily.

2. Henchmen: One of many bands overusing the same name, Auckland New Zealand's Henchmen were a worthy early '80s punk band, penning such classics as "Death Machine" and "Bitch Goddess."

1. Hentchmen: Not to be mistaken with another Detroit band from the '60s bearing the same name, or the aforementioned outfit, these guys were clever enough to add a "T" to the spelling, thus eliminating confusion forever. They had something to do with the garage rock revolution of the last part of the 20th century, not too long before the Myspace Militia were appointed to public office, destroying every live music venue and music retailer in the country.


Saturday, Dec. 2, at the Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; 313-961-4668. Early all ages show will be at 5 p.m. with the Muldoons and the Displays and the later show (9 p.m.) will be with the Muldoons and Capitol Cities.

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