Head cheese

Shannon Selberg fronts post-punk scuzz-rockers the Heroine Sheiks, an act molded on guitarist Norman Westberg’s former bands (Foetus, Swans) and Selberg’s previous noise-rock compadres, the Cows. While the Sheiks exercise more subtlety and finesse than the aforementioned combos, they’re still uncooked and crunchy, even rankled and randy.

Hell, Selberg’s stage antics are legendary. The loosely-built frontman has been known to Hannibal Lecterize love dolls for use as a second skin or don shaving cream in lieu of clothing. He’s been seen sporting bra and panties drawn on in magic marker ink and football uniforms made of fake fur. His demented roadside attraction act dovetails nicely with his keen misanthropic song sense. We’re sure there’s a clinical term for what afflicts Selberg, but suffice to say it’s best to keep important body parts away from the front of the stage.

5. Dinosaurs Now that they’ve proven that birds are little flying dinosaurs, I can’t figure out why more people aren’t freaked out. It’s like discovering that we’ve been surrounded by aliens all along and didn’t know it.

4. The election Bush vs. Kerry is like Hitler vs. Franco. You gotta take Franco, right? I mean, Franco was just an asshole, as opposed to a dangerous maniac bent on conquest.

3. My body What’s going on? Why is my ****** turning rotten? Will it fall off?

2. My girl Where the fuck was she really when I tried to call last night, goddammit.

1. Last night What exactly did I do and who do I need to apologize to?

The Heroine Sheiks perform at the Detroit Art Space (101 E. Baltimore, Detroit; 313-664-0445) on Sunday, Oct. 24.

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