And the winner is ... Mom's spaghetti.
There are several takeaways from the 92nd Academy Awards, which went down last night, and were, once again, host-less — because who doesn't love a meandering, identity-less award show?
Anyway, director Bong Joon-ho made history when his South Korean dark comedy Parasite took home some of the ceremony's top prizes, including best picture — which made us wonder: did Green Book ever even happen?
Also, lead actor winner Joaquin Phoenix wants us to be vegan, while Renée Zellweger, who took home the statue for her portrayal of Judy Garland, rambled on and on about... actually, we're not sure, but she was giving some major Marianne Williamson energy. There was poorly scripted white feminism via Sigourney Weaver, Gal Gadot, and Brie Larson; actual feminism in the form of Eímear Noone, the Academy's first female conductor ever; James Corden and Rebel Wilson, who reprised their respectful roles as terrifying human cats from last year's massive cinematic flop Cats; and Amazon's billionaire baldy Jeff Bezos was even in attendance, and received a hefty amount of screentime — and, unofficially, won the award for least federal taxes paid. Cool!
But the standout moment, according to social media trend data, was one in which Marshall Mathers took the stage to perform an 18-year-old song. That's where the confusion sets in.
Here's what went down: Hamilton cutie Lin-Manuel Miranda introduced a video segment about music's impact in film, which spanned Rocky's “Eye of the Tiger” moment to Hustle & Flow's "Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” and, of course, Celine Dion's massive ballad, “My Heart Will Go On.” Slumdog Millionaire got some screen time, as did Moulin Rouge, and then a rusty beater car rolls onto the montage. For a second we thought this might be Good Will Hunting and it might be a nod to the late Elliott Smith who was nominated for his song “Miss Misery” in 1998. (His performance at the Oscar's should have won him an Oscar, but whatever.)
Well, it wasn't Good Will Hunting. It was a scene from 2002's 8 Mile, starring one Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, aka a 2003 Oscar winner who took the stage to perform “Lose Yourself” — an 18-year-old song with no timely hook or news peg. OK — so Eminem made history in 2003 when he took home the award for best original song (though he was absent from the ceremony because, you know, they might have sat him next to Christina Aguilera or Fred Durst), as it was the first time a hip-hop song received that distinction.
What would have been great was, say, an Eminem-led medley of previous winners, because we would give our right hand to see Em perform “Let it Go" from Frozen or literally anything by Randy Newman. But, more than that, there was a huge and glaring missed opportunity here, folks.
Em's pal Elton John also performed and took home the gold for this year's best original song for his 2019 self-produced biopic Rocketman. The two famously performed Em's hit “Stan” at the 2001 Grammys while the Detroit-rapper was at peak controversial, due to his violent and homophobic lyrics.
For Eminem's performance, some sang along, some fell asleep. But almost all took to their feet to give our rap god a standing ovation. Roll the gifs!
When the Eminem song isn’t cinema pic.twitter.com/oNPWPyqQM7— ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴊᴀᴍᴇs (@_Matt_James_) February 10, 2020
taika waititi putting his oscar under the seat and martin scorsese falling asleep to eminem are my favorite moments from the oscars pic.twitter.com/00sii9RbXT— jo🧚🏻♀️ (@filmgurlthot) February 10, 2020
take renee zellweger out of the kodak theater she doesn’t need to see eminem this is scaring her!!!— keaton kilde (@keatonkildebell) February 10, 2020
Who told Eminem he could get up on that stage lookin' like a whole ass snacc? https://t.co/Jf6EVepdvx— D.J. Earley (@DiamondSuxx) February 10, 2020
The award for best reaction, however, goes to miss Billie Eilish, who was all of us last night. (Eilish, by the way, performed a stirring rendition of the Beatles classic "Yesterday” for the Oscars' in memoriam segment.)
Finally, Eminem got in on the fun, though provided zero context as to why the hell he performed in the first place.
Well, maybe Em did have a plan after all.
Selma Hayek just did what every female boomer Stan dreams of doing 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/afhAebPySy— Eminem Detroit (@EminemDetroit88) February 10, 2020
You can watch Em's very confusing performance below.
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