Comedian Whitney Cummings wants to touch it at back to back performances at the Royal Oak Music Theatre

click to enlarge Whitney Cummings won't hold back at Royal Oak Music Theatre. - COURTESY PHOTO
Courtesy photo
Whitney Cummings won't hold back at Royal Oak Music Theatre.

Whitney Cummings is doing god’s work.

Though she’s got what she refers to as “hillbilly DNA,” the 39-year-old comedian, actress, and podcaster is the master of exploring modern womanhood through a lens that is both gut-busting and pretty fucking grim.

She warns single women about dating nerds because they could end up being either Elon Musk or someone who has shelves of figurines who can’t afford to pay for dinner because their money is all “tied up in Bitcoin,’’ and she describes the fear of being a woman walking alone to her car with keys between her fingers like a “shitty Wolverine.”


Then there’s the bit about the struggle to be taken seriously amid the #MeToo movement: “Um, they give a shit about us all of a sudden, and we have absolutely no practice being listened to,” she says in her fourth Netflix special, Can I Touch It? “So we need to level the fuck up right now. Some things need to change around here.” Those things include: Tossing out those “rosé all day” shirts, same with the whole “Namastay in bed” schtick, as “it’s not a sophisticated argument.” No more saying “totes” instead of totally and for the love of god “we have to stop calling each other hookers and whores for a while.” If any of this resonates with you, then Cummings’ brand of comedy is for you. Her latest tour, appropriately titled “Touch Me,” aims to “destigmatize and celebrate the importance of being

together again” after many months of isolation. She’s been drinking, workshopping material via social media and her podcast Good For You, and she’s ready for her and her fans to contract “every other disease besides COVID.” Bring on the mono!

Doors open at 7 p.m. on at the Royal Oak Music Theatre; 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; 248-399-2980; royaloakmusictheatre.com. Tickets are $35+. *Venue requires proof of full vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test 72-hours prior to entry.

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