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Seeing as how the hale and hearty crew here at News Hits hasn't yet found a way to qualify for a state-issued medical marijuana card, we made a beeline for the Marriott Hotel bar in Ypsilanti and ordered ourselves two or three (or was that four?) white Russians in honor of Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski last Saturday when we went to check out the big Caregivers Cup being held there.

Given that this rag was the media sponsor and all, we knew going in that the shindig's name ended up being a disappointing misnomer. Seems Johnny Law didn't take too kindly to the idea of the patients making a temporary switch away from their registered caregivers (i.e., suppliers) to sample the skunky green bud that was supposed to have been donated by a whole host of growers (i.e., caregivers) to determine who cultivated the best way to cure whatever ails ya.

We were bummed to see the Cup competition snuffed before the judges even had a chance to light up. And you'd think that organizers would have, you know, made sure that the whole Caregiver Cup premise was actually doable before promoting it and selling tickets for it and all. And, as local attorney Matt Abel said during one of his lectures on Saturday, he'd advised beforehand that the idea was not a good one. We also heard Abel pass along this piece of advice from a cop, who told him: "If you live in Michigan and smoke pot and don't have a medical marijuana card, you're an idiot."

Don't get us wrong. We know that there are people, lots of people, who see the stinky weed as honest-to-gawd medicine. We've interviewed a number over the years. Like the woman we once met who, before suffering a severe head injury in a car accident, didn't ever care to indulge. But as a result of the accident, she began having grand mal epileptic seizures. She loathed the pharmaceutical medications doctors prescribed; the pills left her feeling logy all the time. Then a friend told her that pot might help, and so she started taking a few tokes whenever she felt the onset of a seizure. It did the trick, quieting the coming electrical storm in her brain before it could ignite.

So, yeah, we truly believe the stuff is a wonder.

But we were also taken by the decidedly entrepreneurial spirit that was wafting through the expo area. We have a pocketful of cards from the operators of compassion clubs who promised to a) help us find a way to get us one of those cards and then b) hook us up with some killer medijuana once we did.

We can't wait to go back again next year.

News Hits is edited by Curt Guyette. Contact him at 313-202-8004 or

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