Weenie wagging 

Q: I'm a 30-year-old married black male who enjoys exposing his penis. I'm a voyeur and an exhibitionist. I've been showing off since I was 12 and it really gets me hard and excited. Since I was around 21 or so, I have really enjoyed masturbating while driving or sitting in parking lots. I truly enjoy a woman seeing me touching myself. By no means do I want to harm anyone or bother them. I just want them to see me and be pleasantly surprised, since it's probably very much unexpected to see a man jacking off in the parking lot of a mall. I guess I see myself as being sexual and see the woman as being sexual if she notices and doesn't get offended, plus continues to watch. I have basically moved to the Internet for showing with my Web camera, since it removes the possibility of being caught by the police. It doesn't consume my life, though. I just enjoy it. I actually orgasm harder when I'm being watched. I don't wear underwear, even to work. I like to be free and if I want to get off, underwear gets in the way. There are so many women who enjoy watching or at least don't mind; I guess I just want to find them all. I especially enjoy professional women, women who appear to be very businesslike, but their sexual side is very open to watching, masturbating, showing, etc. I don't like the women who will sleep with anyone and everyone. I have no desire to sleep with the women. Am I normal? Is this perverted? Should I seek help? Would this offend you?

A: Are you normal? Not in the sense that the majority of people are as into seeing and being seen sexually as you are. I don't think in terms like "perverted" or "should" so I can't say. Would I be offended if I came across some guy jacking off in a mall parking lot? You bet your flapping-in-the-breeze ass I would! In the unlikely situation of my ever being at a shopping mall in the first place, suddenly coming upon some guy sitting in his car wanking would hardly be a pleasant surprise. And it wouldn’t be pleasant to most women. There are appropriate times and places for sexual expression and since all parties involved in any sexual act need to be consenting, those places are not public areas. If you make a video and someone chooses to watch it, great. That's the ultimate in safe sex — no cooties, no outraged sensibilities and no forthcoming record as a sex offender.

Q: Last night my boyfriend and I were having sex. We were a little wound up, so it was exciting and a little rough, but nothing too out of the ordinary for us. He moved into this position that hit really deep where my legs were both over to one side and he was on top. This is always a different feeling for me; like it's hitting the cervix or something. Usually it feels good, but this time I started to cramp really badly. We stopped immediately, but then for at least 15 minutes afterwards I had horrible cramping and dull aching pains in my thighs. I felt nauseous and almost threw up. What is this from? Is this a sign that it's too deep? Help! I don't want that to happen again.

A: Hitting the cervix, the mouth of the uterus, during intercourse is painful for many women, pleasurable for some. If what has been pleasurable before has suddenly become this painful it's possible that your cervix is irritated due to some atypical condition. I'd have it checked out by your gynecologist.

Q: When I ejaculate, especially if it's been several days or more, the semen is sometimes yellowish in color. What causes this? Is it normal, anything to be worried about, anything to do with age? I'm 48, but noticed this since I was 18. I don't have any physical sexual problems. P.S. I saw you on "To Tell the Truth." You're a hottie!

A: Aw, you're just saying that to get me to answer your letter above all the hundreds of others ... and it worked! Thank you. Ahem, now to business: You may notice that when you ejaculate after several days of not doing so your semen may be thicker, shoot further and there may be more of it as well. These are all normal occurrences when clearing out the pipes after a backlog. If it still concerns you, mention it to your doctor at your next exam and see if he/she wants to check further by taking a semen sample. Isadora Alman is a board-certified sexologist and a California-licensed marriage-and-family therapist. Contact her via this paper or askisadora@aol.com. Her Sexuality Forum is at

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Speaking of Love & Sex, Ask Isadora

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