The Dooby Awards 2021: Celebrating Michigan’s most dubious denizens

It’s that time of the year again, when we gaze back and reflect upon the horrors of another year. 2021 was notable for starting with a bang. Thankfully, it was all up from there, but the bar was so low it was in hell. Without further ado, this year’s winners, we mean losers, are… 

Illustration by John Kerschbaum

The deplorables: The armed hillbillies storming Lansing last year over Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s COVID-19’s policies were apparently a dress rehearsal for what would happen on Jan. 6. Unsurprisingly, there was a strong Michigan presence at the U.S. Capitol, including Michael Joseph Foy, a Wixom man who used a hockey stick to attack police (while wearing an American flag as a cape). At least 13 people from Michigan have been charged for their connection to the insurrection, and Rashida Tlaib was right — we impeached the motherfucker (again), but Congressional Republicans were too cowardly to do anything about it.

Photo via FBI

Hydroxychloroquine: Remember this drug? Neither do we. Touted by ex-President Donald Trump as a miracle cure for COVID-19, Michigan’s Henry Ford Health System was heading one of the largest trials in the world to see if it worked, but the study was quietly abandoned when it couldn’t find enough willing test subjects. (You know what does work? The vaccines.)

Photo via Shutterstock

Rick Snyder: The former governor and eight others are charged for their roles in the Flint water crisis, though some say the penalty doesn’t go far enough, including former mayor Karen Weaver. For Snyder, he faces up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine on two counts of willful neglect of duty, a light sentence considering an entire city was poisoned.

Photo via Genesee County Jail

Michigan’s hate groups: The Southern Poverty Law Center identifies 25 hate groups in Michigan. We hate this.

Photo by Johnny Silvercloud / Shutterstock.com

State Sen. Mike Shirkey: Like other Republicans, Michigan’s state Senate Leader says he believed Jan. 6 was a “hoax” staged by Trump’s opponents — despite the fact that Trump literally held a rally that day where he asked his supporters to attack the Capitol. Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug…

Photo via Michigan Senate Photo Wire

Sterling Heights PD: An unnamed Sterling Heights cop is placed on unpaid administrative leave after posting a meme on his Facebook page showing former Minneapolis Police Officer Derek Chauvin kneeling on the neck of George Floyd below the words, “when you gotta change a tire but dont wanna get your trousers dirty.” This is why people want to defund you.

Photo via Shutterstock

Salvador Salort-Pons: Attorneys from Washington, D.C.-based firm Crowell and Moring, hired by the Detroit Institute of Arts last year to conduct an investigation following allegations of a toxic workplace, say the museum’s director presided over an “autocratic” culture at the museum that stifled dissent with retaliation and resulted in women quitting at higher rates than their male counterparts. The DIA says it has hired a firm to help with diversity and inclusion and pledges to do better.

Photo via EQRoy / Shutterstock.com

Delta Air Lines: Hundreds of workers at DTW lose their jobs, despite Delta taking billions of dollars in federal pandemic aid.

Photo via Unite Here