Speaking the tooth 

No one really needs a $30,000 sport utility vehicle. But I guess people can rationalize these tanks with claims of safety, convenience and inefficiency being the American way. On the other hand, gold teeth, when you don’t have a cavity, serve absolutely no purpose — and that’s what makes them so cool! At www.removablecaps.com, you can now get removable gold and platinum teeth for $300 and up. There are 3,000 styles available and they last from three to seven years. All you need to do is a little home dentistry with the mold they mail to you, return it and then, a mere three business days later, you become the epitome of ghetto chic. There are even fangs available for those in the goth scene. Speaking of which, why does this goofy subculture, obsessed with death as it is, refuse to die?

Tom A’Hearn pays attention here every other week. E-mail letters@metrotimes.com

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