Pudd’nhead Hoekstra 

From our mush-for-brains file comes this item involving Michigan Congressman Pete Hoekstra (R-Holland) and the ongoing travesty that is U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

As of Monday, members of the Senate Judiciary Committee were talking about pursuing perjury charges against America's chief enforcer of the law. It looks like Gonzo has been telling fibs while under oath before Congress.

One of the things he may be talking about with fingers crossed behind his back is a hospital visit to former AG John Ashcroft. Gonzo was still counsel to the president back in 2004 when he and Andy Card, then chief of staff to President George Bush, paid a visit to Ashcroft as he recovered from surgery. Before going under the knife, Ashcroft temporarily handed over the power and duties of attorney general to his second in command. Nonetheless, Gonzo and Card were at the hospital trying to get a still-groggy Ashcroft to sign off on a controversial domestic eavesdropping program others in the Justice Department were saying was illegal.

Congress is trying to get to the bottom of what went on, and members of the Senate Judiciary Committee — including ranking Republican Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania — have been frustrated by Gonzales' obfuscation, avoidance, double-talk and linguistic parsing.

But not everyone on the GOP side of the aisle in Congress is seeking to put rinciple above partisan politics.

Which brings us back to Petey Hoekstra, ranking Republican on the House Intelligence Committee. Looking at the investigation of what exactly went on in that hospital room, Hoekstra is reported to have said that the inquiry is akin to discussing "exactly what flavor Jell-O Ashcroft was eating in the hospital."

We don't know about the Jell-O, but we'd be interested in finding out the flavor of the doctored Kool-Aid the Bush administration has apparently been ladling out to keep hacks like Hoekstra protecting their party while the boss and his administration are shredding the Constitution.

News Hits is edited by Curt Guyette. Contact him at 313-202-8004 or NewsHits@metrotimes.com

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