Stay tuned! Coming up next, James Garner stars in The MB74 Files!
Cheap Trick Rockford (Big 3) :: This is Jim Rockford. I can't take your call because I'm busy investigating why a once-great musical combo is using my name on their latest lousy album. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK:
Cheap Trick Rockford (Big 3) :: Hey, Jimbo, it's Angel. Look, I know how you feel because I can't even begin to tell you how sick and tired I am of these guys constantly aping the Beatles and ELO. Heaven knows they managed to pull it off to perfection three decades ago on Heaven Tonight, but if they don't know how to make a classic Cheap Trick album anymore you know, one that actually sounds like Cheap Trick then maybe they should just pack it in. I could produce a better Cheap Trick record than this dreary dreck by putting "Come On Come On Come On" as the first track and then making them write another 35 minutes of equally blistering rock 'n' roll that doesn't sound like a bunch of lame rejects by George Harrison ("Perfect Stranger"), Queen ("This Time You Got It") and Aerosmith ("One More Day"). Sure they're playing better than ever, but the singing is too affected and the songwriting is too awful. Zander needs to sound more like himself and the band needs to write some classic Cheap Trick rock 'n' roll songs that are fun, not a bunch of de-balled Beatle ballads. There are many here among us who feel this album's a joke. So to those who made this treacly tripe, I say there is no hope. NO HOPE. Bye-bye! So long! Farewell! Small dick, indeed.
Be seeing you!Jeffrey Morgan is a freelance writer. Send comments to [email protected]
We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.
Email us at [email protected].
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.