Support Local Journalism. Donate to Detroit Metro Times.

Horoscopes (March 25-31) 

click to enlarge JAMES NOELLERT
  • James Noellert

ARIES | March 21 – April 20: I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. There's nothing to fear, but it looks like various forces are lining up to interfere with your plans. Let me remind you: Interference is inevitably God's way of getting us back on track. Your control trips need to loosen up enough to open your mind and find another way to do things. The idea that you might be stuck beating a dead horse should be strong enough to get you to wake up and look at what needs to happen instead of clinging to the notion that this is where it's at. What better time than now to consider your next move?

TAURUS | April 21 – May 20: It's hard to be sure about any of this. Attempts to stabilize or get to the bottom of it will get you nowhere. This sense of anxiety could very well be "anticipation." Don't overlook that possibility. In some cases, what's about to happen will alter your entire reality structure. The part of you that's ahead of the curve can "feel" this. For the next few months, events that have already started to roll out will reveal more of themselves in a process that's meant to show you that life is always way more interesting than our little pea brains — and our addiction to certainty — allow it to be.

GEMINI | May 21 – June 20: Everything is on the line right now. It's no longer a question of can you handle this; it's down to the wire, and you are "it." When life gets like this, higher forces are always at work — and they are there to tap into if you can get out of the way long enough to let them cover you. As much as you might feel like you're here on your own, it's not that way at all. There's one more river to cross, but you have it made and are more than fine. Just keep the light on, keep doing it your way, and tap into the beautiful energy that is here and ready to take you wherever you want to go.

CANCER | June 21 – July 20: You've just about had it — with something or someone. You could be fresh out of energy or fresh out of patience — or both. Don't read too much into the fact that you seem to be at a loss for how to make things better. It's usually in the moment where we've had enough, or where things seem futile, that we make our biggest breakthroughs. You're about to find out where you need to go and what you really need to be doing — and it might not be this. There are other options. If you've exhausted this one, stop wringing your hands over it and look at what's waiting for you around the corner.

LEO | July 21 – August 20: You've just about had it with people who can't be accountable. It seems that you're the only one around here who knows how to behave. It's to your credit that you've finally figured out how to draw the line; how long has it been? Now that you've put a raft of issues into a perspective that allows you to live with yourself, those who have the most to do with them are bound to show up on your doorstep. Don't be surprised if old lovers and/or those who have been a thorn in your side return to the scene and give you yet one more chance to see if you're really on top of things.

VIRGO | August 21 – Sept. 20: In the middle of a major reset, we can never be sure how things will pan out. If you're relieved to be on to the next thing, as whatever that is makes itself clear to you, you'll begin to notice that if it's not one thing, it's another. You're so accustomed to certain activities and habits, this change in your routine is bound to present you with a new set of problems. On a certain level, all of this is happening to bring you face-to-face with yourself and with the part of your being who, up until now, has never had a chance to figure out who you are and what you're really here for.

LIBRA | Sept. 21 – Oct. 20: You've never been able to figure out why your life doesn't fit the norm. (P.S., there's no "one size fits all" standard for whatever it takes to be human.) In your case, you didn't get put here to live out that kind of life. And from what I can see, your efforts to be that person never got you where you want to go. If the truth be told, you've spent so many lifetimes going along with the program, this incarnation is one in which it's your turn to go and be and do whatever you damn please. Part of you gets this, and the ways things look, the rest of you is 100% ready to loosen up.

SCORPIO | Oct. 21 – Nov. 20: Nobody knows how much you need to make everything right. Your whole life testifies to this. When things are less than perfect, you go crazy wondering how to fix it. Sometimes, life destroys our most cherished illusions not to make us wrong or punish us for our mistakes, but to show us how to mend things. In the process, something new is born, and it's what comes out of that, that adds new life to the plan, or the dream, or the creation. Before you can continue with the heart of this vision, take a deep breath and a good long look at yourself. It's time to get real about a few things.

SAGITTARIUS | Nov. 21 – Dec. 20: You're on a good roll. Whatever's up your sleeve will see you making or breaking things in no time at all. The fear of success and the fear of failure are always holding hands, so you could be blowing hot and cold on any given day. So much is at stake, and this matters more than anything to you. Operating from your current position will be easier if you have someone close — someone you trust — to set you straight and keep you from getting high on too much pie in the sky. This is an incredible time. It all comes down to staying grounded and keeping your shoulder to the wheel.

CAPRICORN | Dec. 21 – Jan. 20: Too much static from the ones who matter most has you feeling a little nervous about how to play this. Up until now, you thought you were in everyone's good graces. The sense that you're not on the "A-List" anymore isn't your imagination. If it's the usual thing, it probably has something to do with your ego and your inability to keep a lid on it when your insecurities weaken you or drive you to overcompensate more than usual. The vibes will clear up in no time if you stop to reflect on where you're coming from and give everyone involved plenty of room to breathe.

AQUARIUS | Jan. 21 – Feb. 20: The avalanche of change that has come down in the last few months has you torn between two people, places, or things. The pull in two directions, along with an equal and opposite need to act like you have it all figured out, is making you feel totally schizophrenic. Those close to you are either out of commission or wish they were somewhere else. You're starting to feel like a cross between Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil, and you're busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony. Knowing how to navigate things from here will require you to rethink pretty much everything.

PISCES | Feb. 21 – March 20: You stand firm in the midst of a lot of stuff that makes you wonder how you do it. Up until now, you've relied on true grit to keep yourself afloat. At some point along the line, you shifted over into an "other-dimensional" relationship to all of this that has turned you into a wizard at making anything work. Part of it has to do with the fact that you have no choice; the rest of it goes much deeper than that. That being said, fear, pain, guilt, suffering, and sacrifice are no longer an option. Joy is the key. Don't lose yourself to the belief that what happens from here on out has to be hard.

Get our horoscopes sent straight from the cosmos to your inbox. Sign up for our weekly issue newsletter delivered each Wednesday.

We’re keeping you informed…
...and it’s what we love to do. From local politics and culture to national news that hits close to home, Metro Times has been keeping Detroit informed for years.

It’s never been more important to support local news sources. A free press means accountability and a well-informed public, and we want to keep our unique and independent reporting available for many, many years to come.

If quality journalism is important to you, please consider a donation to Metro Times. Every reader contribution is valuable and so appreciated, and goes directly to support our coverage of critical issues and neighborhood culture. Thank you.

Tags:

Latest in Horoscopes

Read the Digital Print Issue

April 1, 2020

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In Detroit